Make Unreached History

Today, in one of those rare moments, I sat in my room glued to the TV. I was watching the Live8 concert happening all over the world. In London, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Philadelphia, Barrie (Toronto), Tokyo, Johannesburg and Moscow, musicians performed to raise awareness to end the poverty in Africa.

It was a stars-studded performance in the 9 cities, but in reality I was not glue to the TV because of the performances. I was glued to the TV because my heart cries out to Africa. The hope of the concerts was to raise awareness to the leaders in the G8 to pour money into developing countries to provide rescources and funding to these countries. I am total for this idea, but with what I learned from last week in Show N' Tell week, I have a more effective idea.

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
~2 Ch. 7:14

The Lord promised He will heal their land if His people will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways. And with the healing of their land, it will make poverty history. You see, the problem is not poverty -- it is the lack of the Gospel in their land.

In support group at church, we were to all pick a country and pray for the people of that country. I picked Somalia because it is the most unreached country in the world. I heart cries out to Somalia. In Somalia, there are 15 distinct people groups, 10 million in population. Of these 15 people groups, 13 are least reached. There are only 6 churches in all of Somalia. And the 300 British living in Somalia has 5 of the 6 churches. The Digil-Rahawiin people are the most unreached in the world.

http://www.joshuaproject.net

If we can bring the message of God to the people in Africa, the Lord will heal their land. This concept was already proven in the modern world. Take Almolonga, Guatemala for example. More than 90% of the population is Christian. All of the bars and the jail have closed -- for good. Crime is nonexistent. Almolonga, an agrarian community, produces phenomenal crops and ships them all over Central America. Poverty and unemployment have been eradicated.

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/CWN/061005Guatemala.asp

We can make it a better place to live for the people in Africa, by bringing God's words to the nations. Fellow brothers and sisters, let's unite our prayers and bring the word of God to the unreached. Let's make unreached history.

Show N' Tell

What a week!

Sorry to those who are keeping me accountable through these journals; for the lack of updates. I had reasons to step back from journaling online, I will explain further tomorrow. But without further adue, lemme update you all what happened this past week.

Over the last week, I held an evangelistic training camp at the church, called Show N' Tell. I do not wish to boast, and this is not the intention of this entry. To be honest, everything that happened this week, I did not but my fair share of work to make this week possible. But come to thing about it, I am just glad the God was willing to work with me in this project. He could have done it all by Himself, but He decided to let me help a little. Thanks You, Lord.

Thanks to Candy and Genuine's card for their words of encouragement. In the planning of Show N' Tell, there were times I wanted to give up. Even up to the week before last week, I had doubts. Kids are not yet off school, I don't have training materials... I didn't know how many kids will attend. But I was reminded of Theresa's sacrifice, how she two months in advance took the week off work, just so that she could help in the evangelistic training week. Along with an encouraging phone call from Candy, I was encouraged to press on. Thank God for placing brothers and sisters along side to encourage and support me.

In regards of the training material, with the help of Rev. Lau, Rev. Thumb and Theresa, I did not have much to worry about. I was amazing how God just dropped everything He wanted on my lap. To be honest, I did not do much planning. God provided the speakers, God provided the videos, God provided the devotional materials, God provided the opportunity to serve at Scott Missions... planning was the easy part. The moment of truth was did I have the faith to believe God will provide the attendees.

I realized how little faith I had, even on Sunday night, I did not believe many high school students will attend. But I learn how God will always provide for His plans. Thoughout Sunday night, Winnie, Leanne and Natasha called me to ask for a ride to the church in the morning. The three girls became the backbone of the week. As I shared with Theresa on Tuesday morning devotions that I did not doubt people will attend, one by one people arrived to church. On average we had 10 attendees per day.

With the program set and people present, I did not doubt anything about this week anymore. The experience at Hillcrest Mall, Scott Missions and sandwich run in downtown was amazing. I could see the kids eyes open, and the opportunity to experience urban missions right in Toronto. I was excited to heard from Stephan that this past week was one of his most memorable experience this year. Praise God for opening a whole new mission opportunity for the kids.

Last but not least thanks to Olwen and Olga's family for opening their house for me to stay over when there was a power outage at the church. Eventhough I love the experience of staying over at the church by myself, reminded me of Samuel and his stay at the temple of God, but being alone at the church without power will be too much to bear. Plus the bed is a more relaxing alternative to the hard pews are the church.

But now, I'm glad to be once again in my own bed after the long week. I looking forward to my rest. Good night.

Joel's World Through Tinted Glasses

Hi All,

I must once again apologize for the lack of updates over the past 2 months. So much have happened and I came to the realization of something. And because of this revoluation, God gave me the faith to carrt out the Show N' Tell week. All glory belongs to the Lord.

What I realized was that I thought I was transparent through my journals. And where at first when I began journal online I clearly spoke my mind, but as the amount of visitor increased, I was being careful what I post. Over the past two month, I learn a great lesson of humility. I am not a godly man, and I've been trying to hide behind my journal where people got to see my world through tinted glasses. Tinted glasses that hid the dirt and mire. I was living in the illusion that I was transparent, but I was only posting what I wanted people to see.

But over the last two months, I realized I should no longer hide in shame. For in Christ there's no shame and condemnation.

"1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD. "
~Psalms 40:1-3

I am a saints, living in a sinful body. The blood of Jesus have paid for my sins, I am forgiven and redeemed. With the strength of Christ, I must let Him overcome the power of sin. (Rom 7) And to embrace the mystery of the Gospel.

"To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory."
~1 Cor 1:27

Christ IN me. Not Christ with me, not Christ and me. I have no part achieving the hope of glory. It is Christ alone IN me. So, with no shame and no condemnation, I will no longer post my journal through tinted glasses. Thank you for all who keep me accountable. I would do my part to support and encourage one another.

And to you saints, let us stop sinning, and believing the lie that anything is better than Jesus.

English Exam

I received an exciting phone call this morning... I am requested to take an English exam next Monday morning.

Are you okay, Joel? Is this the same Joel that had to take the ELPE (English Language Proficiency Exam) in university 4 times before passing. :P Why would you be excited about an English exam?

It is because the request was made by the admissions office at Tyndale. YEAH!!! Does that mean I'm accepted? No. But it is a huge step forward.

PRAISE GOD!

When God Asks You To "Prove It"

"Feed my sheep."

The famous line when Jesus challenged Peter's love for the Lord (John 21:15-23).

How real is your love for the Lord? Do you mean it when you commit to be His disciple? Are you willing to bear the cost? Prove it.

Why am I say all this all of a sudden? Well, if you been keeping track of my journal, there was a lack of updates over the last few days. On Tuesday, I was once again overcame with a headache. A headache so severe that I was in bed all afternoon. I could not even lift my head up from my pillow. It was as though everything in my head was turned into mush. Constant pounding in the back of my head.

Tuesday night, I could not sleep. Wednesday morning, same headache. I began to think why I have such headaches. Then I remember what I said to the Lord on Saturday. I told the Lord that if I were to have something like cancer, I would praise the Lord. Praise the Lord to using me so that His glory be reveal through me. I repeated the same thing over and over agin on Sunday while we had our pre-study. "Quality of Life" means nothing while we are on earth, for we are not called to "enjoy" life, but to reflect His glory.

With that said, I remembered to praise the Lord, and began to see how the Lord can use me in through this minor pain. I should not even call this pain. What Jesus has suffered is pain. What I'm going through is just *discomfort* (Thanks Jenny for catching my spelling mistakes :P ). Just like the inconvience that Peter had to endure when Jesus asked him to prove His love for the Lord. So I realized my headache is just a way of God is asking me to prove my commitment.

To be like Job, or to be like his wife? Your choice.

Spring Rain

"We're ready to study GOD,
eager for God-knowledge.
As sure as dawn breaks,
so sure is his daily arrival.
He comes as rain comes,
as spring rain refreshing the ground."
~Hosea 6:3 (The Message)

Spring rain... such beautiful sounds, as the droplets splash against the window. Distant thunder rumbled overhead. Spring is finally in the air. I was home in the afternoon because mom was not feeling well today. So I sat in the kitchen and stared out into the backyard.

Stared and pondered...

I have had writer's cramp all week. Thoughts filled my mind, but I could not put it down on paper. Weaknesses overcame me, but God was merciful. God was faithful. Like the spring rain, he pours His blessings upon us.

An awkward dream came to me last night. I usually do not remember my dream, but this one I remember vividly. In my dream, I was sentenced to be crucified. To be crucified because the world hated me. Everyone around me knew there was nothing they could do to alter the decision. The thought of nails, piercing through my hands freighted me. The date of the crucifixion was set. All I could do was to wait for the appointed time. But did I wait quietly? NO! I called all my non-believer friends, to share God's love with them while I still had the chance. I called Alan, to once again invite him to our church. I called the members of my Home Group, to ensure they had transportation to the program on Friday (even though I knew I would be no longer around to join them in the program too). I made sure I tied up all the loose ends. Then, the time came of my crucifixion arrived. And for some reason, it was postponed. Off I go calling people and sharing God's good news as if there was no tomorrow (well, to me, there IS no tomorrow). Then once again, at the appointed time, I arrive to face my fate. And once again, the crucifixion was postponed.

At the moment, I woke up...

At once, I knew God was talking to me. Within the last month, I have had two dreams where I had a short period of time I have left to live. And what should I do?

Our lives should be lived out as I did in my dream last night. We deserved to be crucified. But by God's grace, through Jesus' love for us on the cross, He took our place at the crucifixion. But, we tend to take that for granted. And there are no urgency in our life. What if, God told you that it's time to come home. Can you say you have run the good race?

The time to live out the great commission is now. God does not care what we will do for Him tomorrow. All He cares about is what we can do for Him NOW.

Well Rested

Well rested, and ready to continue "normal day life".

Normal day life of work? The normal routine of juggling church, family, work, friends, personal time? No. In the mist of the busyness over the last two weeks, I learn that's not the purpose of life. Yes, all these things are aspects in life, but not the main focus. At the end of the day, God is not interested in how involve you are with church, how close you are with your family, how hard you worked at the office, how many friends you have, or even how "spiritual" you are. Our life is for one purpose, and that "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." (John 4:34)

And what is His will? To serve in ministry? Yes, but also no. One could be serving for the sake of serving. One could be preaching because he like to preach. But that's not the reason why we should serve.

"You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."
~Mark 12:32-33

We should serve because we care about the people.

"The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself."
~John 10:11 (THE MESSAGE)

We are called not only to serve, but to serve people. So now that I'm well rested, time to care about those around me, and serve them.

Lost and Found... All in God's Plans

What an interesting experience today. After helping Cherry, Janet and the rest of AFC staff clean up after TC, we ended at 2:00am this morning. And Albert realized he lost his wallet. He was pretty bummed out so we made plans to return to Young Nak early this morning to see if we can find it.

We planned to leave for Young Nak at 10am, but because of problems in uploading my TC pictures online, I did not leave my house until 10:20, and arriving at Young Nak at 10:35. When we arrive, we saw Cherry in the parking lot. She was waiting for the truck to arrive to return the rental A/V equipment. We we when inside together to look for Albert's wallet. And as soon as we stepped into Young Nak and into Al's team room, we found the wallet.

Praise the Lord.

Now since we are here, Al and I help loaded the equipment into the truck and returned the equipment together. God's timing is so funny. If Albert did not lose his wallet, we would not have returned to Young Nak. If I did not have computer problems in the morning, we would have arrived at Young Nak early and missed Cherry. And it would have the tough for the 3 guys to move all the equipment.

God has His plans in everything. And His plans is always perfect.

TC 2005 Coaching, Part 4

And it's finished. 2 weeks for Teen's Conference. 4 days. A bruised knee, a bad back, a cracking voice, but a renewed spirit.

Of the 4 days, plus two nights of prayer meetings, I must say this was the best day. It was the best day because God used so many people to speak to me.

In the morning, after our coach's prayer meeting, I ended up in the coach's coffee room chatting with Pastor Hoang Ho. I had to admit I skipped the morning message, but I've learn so much from Hoang. He gave be an insight on what being a pastor is like, and also a glimce into the culture and mentality of today's teens. But most importantly, the meaning of full-time ministry. I cannot describle how valuable this imformation is to me. Now I am even more excited for my studies at seminary and for God's purpose in my life.

After the chat with Hoang, I sat down with Peter Lau and had a time of catching up. I have not had the opportunity to have a good chat with Peter since I was serving in the planning commitee myself... that was at least 8 years ago. TC 1997. I still remember that all-nighter I pulled with Peter, rushing to get the handbook to the printers two days before TC, and the time I had to run out during TC to do grocries at Knob Hill Farm because we ran out of food at TC. Hahah... such memories. I told Peter about my calling into seminary, and boy, he was excited. I shared with me his experience in serminary and the workload I should prepare for. He also shared with me the year after I entered university, he had to step down as the co-ordinator of TC because of his workload in Tyndale, that when Cherry became the co-ordinator. We had a time of sharing and praying, and I could not hold back my tears.

After the two conversations, I was already tried and drained. Good thing that Diane and I found each other just before lunch time and we had a time to pray for the team and work on our game plan for the day.

I must admit, I can feel the team was quite tired from the day before. Many first time at TC, and I guess it is hard to keep up the energy level. But I think I did noitced was the teamwork and how the team gelled from yesterday. I guess it is an advantage of having a smaller size team, where everyone gets to know each other really well really fast. Through out the day, I had the opportunity to chat with a few of the teens and get to know them better. And also I had the chance to share the struggles in my Christian walk during our Group Study time. But I guess what got the team excited was when we dressed each other up in newspaper. And I didn't know why I agreed to Daniel and Joe's idea of dress me up in a newspaper bikini... but everyone had a good laugh and got our spirits up.

I gotta give it to Joe and Daniel. They were awesome as captains. And I can sense much potential with many member of the team, that God can use them greatly in His work. The must exciting thing was we have one person on the team accept salvation for the very first time. And to see many teen willing to take on the task to me light of the world, brought tears to my eyes. Lord, I pray that you will remind these your people of their commitment to you, and give them the strength to stand firm when tough times come.

The day did not end without some sort of attacks from Satan. Before the final worship session, one of the praise leader's voice suddenly became all hella wacked... so a bunch of us coaches had a emergence prayer huddle during worship. By God's grace, His protection was over all of us.

So tired... but statisfy and lifted up. Home by 2:00am after cleaning up and shipping everything back to AFC. Of course, we ate with the AFC staff too.

Photos:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2129140506

TC 2005 Coaching, Part 3

Oh, my old bones cannot take much more beatings. If it's not for God, I would not know where would I find strength.

Knee bruised, head pounding... I feel like I'm going to fall apart. I vow to never again be on the bottom of a 20 teens pile up... but as a coach, I guess I got to take one for the team. I just never thought I'll risk losing my life as a coach.

But as a coach, I'm a lot more comfortable this time around. I guess with experience, I know my role on the team. My role is to make ballon animals and bribe the Rec Leaders. :) But seriously, I now know my priorities and how I can connect with the teens throughout the day.

Also I learning a lot about leading Bible Studyings in creative ways.

One more day... Lord give me strength.

Photos:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2129140506

Come to Him, Covering Face, Covering Feet

Once again, I'm away at TC on Monday and Tuesday. Sorry for the lack of posting last week. I'll update as soon as I recover from the screaming and yelling. Please pray for me old bones to keep up with the energy of the young ones.

In His Serivce,
Joel

Scriptures Coming ALIVE!

Today a group of us went to see a stage production of the Gospel of John stage production. I was done by actor Brad Sherrill who memorized the whole NIV text of the Gospel of John and recited it with actions. It was quite an experience. As Brad was recited the lines, I cannot help but to mumble under my breathe the familiar passages. It reminds me how important it is to memorize the Scriptures.

Also, seeing the exact Scriptures being acted out, it was awesome to see the Scriptures come alive in a way I did not perviously imagine. It was amazing how differently God spoke to me through the Scriptures.

What hit me the most was one theme throughout the Gospel of John. Food. Yummy!!! You all know I love food. But what blew me away was the food we should seek.

"“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, ‘Four months more and then the harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.”"
~John 4:34-37

"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."
~John 6:27

We are call to work not for food that will spoil... but for food that the Father is approved of, which is to do God's will and finish His work.

http://www.gospelofjohn.com/

One Thing

"Single minded, whole hearted, one thing I ask
That I may gaze upon Your beauty Oh Lord
That I may seek Your Holy Face
That I may know You in an intimate way
And follow after You all of my days

CHORUS:
All of life comes down to just one thing
and that's to know You oh Jesus and make You known"
~One Thing - Charlie Hall

This is a song I learn in TC this week. What a beautiful song, esp in the chorus. It opened my eyes. Only one thing matters in life: All of life comes down to just one thing and that's to know You oh Jesus and make You known.

Our whole purpose in life is to know Jesus and spread His love. How simple is that? And that's the only one thing we need to worry about.

TC 2005 Coaching, Part 2

I am so proud of my team. I have never seen a team completely turn around in one day. If there was a most improved team award, I'm sure we would have won that one. They were screaming and cheering, not only for our team, but for the other teams too. I am so proud of them.

The secret... a Group Study the involves teamwork, and LOTS of candy. Plus a coach rally speech that involved promising I will pour every ounce of energy into the team, scream, yelling and dancing with them.

I result... I'm so tired. Every joint in my body screams out in pain. I have never been this exhausted before in my life. But why would I want to put my body through all this, for the love of these kids, and for the love of the cross.

Photos:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2129125435

5 days of rest, and time to do it all over again. I cannot wait.

TC 2005 Coaching, Part 1

Oh boy, I really feel I'm getting old. Team Hosea. Vivian and Karen is so full of energy, I can barely keep up with them. And what a large team. 30 grade 8 & 9, 2 captains, 1 coach. And no name tags this year, but rather, wrist bands with their names.

"Err... excuse me, can I see your wrist? Ahhh... yes, Jon. How are you?"

HAhah... what a day. Vivan and Karen are going a great job as captains, there are still things for them to learn especially in leading Bible Studies and leading the team. But given it's their first time, they are doing a great job. And wow, what a testimony Vivian has... she totally blew me away. God is so amazing in her life! Hearing Vivian's and Charmaine's testimonies make me realized my suffering is so trivial. I have my family, I still have everyone close to me. But to them, even the foundation for the very thing I take for granted is shaken. What else can I do but to praise God for His blessings. If God is so gracious to them, why do I worry about my little problems?

Silly Joel.

Pastor Hoang Ho is such a dynamic speaker. I guess you have to be to keep today's teens interested and focus. I learn so much from his preaching style, how he splits the congregation up into individual groups and hit his point home with each group.

Day 2 tomorrow. I'm planning to challenge to decisions the teens made tonight. It's not about hype and rar rar, not about "it's cool to sign my name onto the cross", but about bearing the cross.

Time to think of a way to challenge the teens, and to help Vivian and Karen lift the team spirits up.

Photos:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2129125435

A Day Devoted to God

What a day. Only hours away from TC: screaming high school kids, jumping around, ready to tear apart the church. But today, complete set aside for God.

I have not complete set a day aside for God for a long time. I would always think about work, or think about myself. But today, since morning, I got to church really early to setup. Then after church, I dropped into the Spring Camp planning meeting and then I had a 4 hour long praise team practice. I never knew the experience in serving in the Chinese praise can be so rewarding. I've learn so much.

Then, Alice and I hurried to RHCCC for the TC prayer meeting. Throughout the prayer meeting, I had one thought. Why did God chose to use me? I'm a sinner, who failed Him many many times, inresponsible to His calling, turned my back on Him again and again... yet, He still calls me. What a merciful God!!! During the prayer meeting, I had not had the chance to sing at the top of my lungs, and dance in praises, without worry about wish people think. Total focus on God.

What a joy is to have a day totally devoted to God.

Excited About Service

I remember I use to wondered when I watch the 722 webcasts is why is that Louie Giglio is always so excited at service.

Last night, I began to understand. For some reason, I am also getting ready excited to go to church today. Not just excited for the Good Friday program. Not just excited to develope a program for the Urban Mission Week. Of course I'm excited for the special programs, but I am not also excited for every week Sunday Service.

Maybe it is because over the last few weeks we spend countless effort into tweaking and repackage the service to cater to the needs of the congregation. Why put so much effort? Because it is a place of worship, and we want to create an environment where we can worship with all our hearts.

Went I serve in the Children Worship, I see some of the kids dread going to church on Sunday...We'll have to help them realize the worship God is the best thing we can do.

Curse God and Die?

'His wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!"'
~Job 2:9

If it was two year ago, I would have listen to Job's wife and denounced my faith. Why do I say such harsh words? Through recent events, I know my faith in Him has grown. I now truly believe what Paul said to the Corinthians:

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."
~1 Corinthians 10:13 (The Message)

Over the last two years, God has been building my character, and my faith in Him and my "limit" has increased. So that's why these tests are set before me, for I know that God will never let me down, and He will always be there to help me come through it.

It is funny how God placed a test in front of me, when in the last of yesterday's reflections, I thought I had things figured out. How foolish I am for not being humbled? I am still waiting for God's revelation on the lesson I am intended to learn through yesterday's events, but I know that this lesson is good.

So what happened?

Yesterday, I felt lifted up. I felt a sense of assurance and directional after His lesson on fishing on the wrong side of the boat. Me financial burdens were temporary resolved, I had new exciting direction and ideas for church programs, and most importantly, I had a heart full of praise.

On my way home from the office, snow began to fall. The roads turned into the worst driving conditions I have ever driven on. The usual 15 min drive turned into 45 min crawl. When I was only 3 blocks away from home, on a red light I applied my brakes, it felt that as if my car was not equipped with brakes at all. The car just would not stop. So from that moment, I started driving very cautiously. I did not drive beyond 20km/hr, with plenty of space between the car in front of me.

I drove for another 2 blocks, past 7 accidents. In my head, all I thought about was "Thank God for ABS." I was planning to come home and write about how God protected me on the roads. Because I was truely scared on the roads yesterday.

So 1 block away from home, crawling toward home, 2 cars in front of me was involved in an accident. The car in front me immediately applied his brakes and began to swivel, but somehow managed to stop before hitting the car in front. I too applied my brakes and no response. Will plenty of room to glide I was praying for a patch of road with enough traction to slow me down. But that patch of road never came, and I glided for about 4 seconds before I knew a collision was inevitable so I straighten my car and braces for a collision as flush with his bumper as possible.

As soon as I collide with the car in front, I was calm knowing that the only thing I could have done to avoid this collision was to stay home and not go to work. So I immediately ask God what He wanted to teach me, calmly before checking for damages I ran to the drive to ensure he as okay. All in all, there was no damage to my car. However, the bumper of the car in front was knocked off the hinch and misaligned.

So God, what do You want me to learn from this lesson? To curse You and die? Never.

"He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said."
~Job 2:10

God, yes, fill my nets with fish. But also bring on the storms that will rock my boat. I know You will never let me down; You will never let me be pushed past my limit; You will always be there to help me come through it.

Fishing on the Wrong Side of the Boat

After thinking back to the conversation I had with Alice over lunch on Tuesday, "why can we not just drop everything and follow the Lord like what Peter, Andrew, James and John did?" I want to drop everything, Lord, why don't you let me?

Looking back at the Bible story, I realized I miss a very critical point. Let revisiting the story together:

" 4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

5Simon answered, “Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him. "
~Luke 5:4-11

One of the worries I have is how am I going to save up enough for seminary this Fall? To be honest, I'm not doing that well at work. I'm barely making ends meet, still struggling month to month. But I know God place me in this career for a reason. Though I want to leave everything behind and follow Him, I know there's a lesson I need to learn. And maybe this lesson lies in the Luke 5. Before Peter, Andrew, James and John left everything and followed Him, they had to obey Jesus. They gave up from a night of fishing, already called it quits. However, when Jesus, who was a stranger to them at this point, ask them to do something "ridiculous", they did not question but obeyed.

"Go back on to the lake and cast my net on the other side of the boat, yeah, right, like that will make a difference?!?" I would have replied.

But to the four of them, no questions asked, just obedience. And guess what, they were blessed with two boat load of fish. But then, look what they did? Left everything and followed Him. Notice the word, everything. Everything. Even the boat full of fish they just caught. They did not leave everything when they didn't have anything. They left everything when they had EVERYTHING.

Insight and Application.

God have promised me that he will provide. I'm just fishing on the wrong side of the boat... and when I eventually obey and fish on the other side of the boat, and pull up a boat load of fish, will I able to then say I'm willing to left everything behind. Anyone can leave everything behind when they have nothing... but not everyone can leave everything behind when they are weighted down with worldly treasures.

That's the lesson I need to learn.

Lord, fill my boat with fish, but then, give me the strength and wisdom to turn my back on the is boat load of fish and follow you.

Headache

Please pray for me. Over the last week, I've been having a headache. On last Sat, Mon and Thursday morning, the headache was so severe that it was a struggle just to get out of bed. My devotional time is effected, my Bible and book reading is affected for I could not concentrate on what I am reading.

In the evening, I have very peaceful sleep... however, the headache begins as soon at I open my eyes.

Last night, the only time I didn't feel the effects of my headache was when I was having Praise Team practice. I guess worship heals everything.

Please pray for me. Teen's Conference is quickly approaching (Next Mon), and I'll need all my strength and energy to counselor the high schoolers.