Peace Like a River

Last day in Vancouver. God is testing my patience, all of the week’s appointment got pushed back to today. Business-wise, zero quantitative results. Yet, there is a peace in my heart. A peace that is in describable. Before coming to Vancouver, I searched for results – my pride soared high. I told myself I would not return if I don’t get things off the ground through this trip. However, slowly but surely God showed me purpose:

-Seattle, Christine is so closed, SO CLOSED, to be saved.
-Jenny and Mark, such faithful servant of God.
-Eric, Emily and Dylan, rekindled friendships.
-Edmund and Edwin, God is calling them home.

“Then He said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.”
~Matt 9:37, 38

God showed me the greater calling to Vancouver. Now I realized God did not called me to Vancouver for worldly business, but rather for the work of the heavens.


Dear Lord,

Once again I thought I could do things on my own. Sorry Lord, please forgive me. Lord, give me a humble heart; give me the faith to depend solely on You. Praise the Lord for being the Rock. You are unchanging, so we can always depend on You.

Thank You, Lord, for keeping me grounded; for keeping my heart from running wild in this world. Thank You for watching over me and guiding me with you gentle voice. Lord, You said, “Ask and I’ll give the nation to you.” So Lord once again, take my heart, I ask You to use me as one of Your workers in the harvest field.

Amen.

Passion...

"Passion is the degree of difficulty you are willing to endure to achieve the goal."
- www.722.org

Joel, can you live by your own teachings? How much do you love Vancouver? If you are telling everyone how much you love to be in Vancouver, why don't you give yourself a reason to come back to Vancouver? So Joel, how much do you want Vancouver? If you want to be in Vancouver so much, if you want to come back to Vancouver, why are you enjoying the city so much now? Time to get to work.

I'm not here to enjoy my stay, if God willing, I'm here to prepare for the future. Build Vancouver. Come when the business is up and running. Then... enjoy Vancouver.

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."
-Matt 16:25

Forgiver, Lord and Friend

Vancouver to Seattle...

Praise God for His creation!!! What a beautiful drive throught the mountains. The mountains, the clouds, and the ocean... I am tempted to move to the west coast, but I know that's not God's will, at least for the next year while I still have church planning obligations. If God's willing, maybe one day, I will be in the west coast.

Today, I am reminded that our Father is also my best friend. In Seattle, I had the opportunity to catch up with Jason, Tom, and Christine. Christine shared her experience so far in Seattle, and she mentioned that how much she longed for good friends in Seattle. Jason and I realized immediately that how much she needs Jesus as a friend. Please pray for her.

I realized if my Vancouver trip did not pan out business-wise. The opportunity to share with Christine was more than worth it.

Vancouver

Yesterday, I arrived in Vancouver. On my flight, I wondered why God has brought me here. But I guess by faith, I'll find out soon enough. I had some really good quiet times on my flight reading, praying, and seeking God. He taught me to keep my emotions in check, and be patients.

I felt relieved because my mind is no longer crowded with thoughts, as I was for the past month. I had a really good chat with Rev. Lau over breakfast, and I sense from him the vote of confidence for me leading the English ministry. Also God kept me in check with an aweful stomach flu. During my BPM training, I just let God take over. Not to act on my ego and pride, but to humbly share my experience with the team in Vancouver.

Thank You, Lord. I give the next few days in Vancouver into Your hands. Your will be done.

Focus...

JOEL!!! Can you focus? Focus on the glory of God. God has called on me so many times this week, how could I have been so selfish and set my sights on my goals and not His? Lord, please give me the strength to run the good race. Lord, please protect me. Satan has been attacking me from all sides, from temptations to flooding my life with worldly things. Thanks you, Lord, for Ric. For how you sent him to my office to challenge my faith yesterday. "How is your spiritual walk, Joel?", asked Ric. Tough. I could not focus during the Englist Ministry meeting. How am I suppose to lead these God-seeking youth people when I'm not even exhibiting any leadership abilities whatsoever? How can Rev. Lau and Fenny suppose to trust me with the group? Or is this all part of Satan's attacks? Eroding my confidence, cause my to doubt the strength God has provided. Lord, please give me the confidence to carry out your will, to take Your banner and lift it high.

Tomorrow will be my last service at Milliken. I will be in Vancouver next week, and the week after... the new church. Logos Baptist Church (York Region Mission). I hate saying goodbyes to friends - to the brother and sisters that have touched my life over the past 7 years. Thank You, Lord, for the memories and for the friendships. Most of all, thank You, Lord, for Your calling for me.

Lord, thank You for teaching me to have discipline in order to focus on You. Lord, I want to give my life to You. With You, all the trouble in the world will fade away. Give me a heart of a child, to worship You and seek You with shame. To love You with a pure heart.

Thank You, Lord, for the success You have given me this past week, as You prepare me for work in Vancouver, Lord, use me as a carrier of Your light to this dark world, and to share You love to those You have created.

Things Not to Take for Granted

There are so many thoughts running through my mind, Lord please still my heart. Please help me to focus on You, and not on the things of this world.

I realized that just one impure thought, just a speck of sin, can repeal God away from the heart. Lord, please forgive me. Draw me near to You again. Lord, give me a heart that shies away from sins.

Deep breaths. Lord, thank You for giving me life, even though I deserved to die many times over in sin. It is a blessing that every morning I still have breath. Thank You for giving me hands, that I can write this journal. Thanks You for giving me legs, so I can still walk and run. Thank You for giving me ears to hear, so that I can hear the angel voices. Thank You for giving me eyes to see, so that I can witness Your creation. Thank You for parents, for their constant love and care. Lord, please never let me take these things for granted.

Lord please calm my heart…

Sleepless with Thoughts from God

“I cry out night and day for more
To hold the majesty of You
My God You stand alone
All I worship at Your throne
I will long to seek Your power and glory
Jesus, Lord of all”
-You Stand Alone

I cannot sleep. Woke up at four in the morning with thoughts racing through my head, I could not fall back to sleep. I picked up a book and started reading, hoping that God will speak to me in my devotions.. And oh, He did.

Since two nights ago, God has been planting thoughts in my mind, and by yesterday, these thoughts have consumed me. I immediately called up a good brother, Henry, to pray for me. He gave me words of encouragement and when finally I laid myself down by God’s feet and prayed, I was comforted.

The first thought God challenged with was “how should I act in the church?” I knew it was suppose to be a big responsibility leading the English congregation at he new church, but how should I represent the church in this role? A M3 leader, Servant Leadership Ministry (requires membership, mature growing Christian, self confident to exercise spiritual gift). Am I showing that leadership? I realized even through all the meetings I have attended, I have yet to offered my efforts in the church planting project, and there’s only one month remaining until we began the new church. Many high school teens and university students will be looking up to me. And as the Lord taught me at Teens’ Conference this year, I love every one of them. Lord, show me how to represent the church in front of them.

The second thought was the idea of going to Vancouver at the end of the month. I knew my way to China must pass through Vancouver, and I was planning to go later in the year. But that all changed when my sister booked a flight to go later this month and she asked me to go along. At first I declined, not knowing how much this thought will bother me yesterday. Throughout the day, God continued to plant seeds in my mind and entertained the thought of going to Vancouver: 1) The CEO tour will be in Vancouver that week. 2) My schedule is completely empty that week, no church planting meetings. 3) Linh told me to make a “bold” move.

One of my strengths, and weaknesses, is that I can make a spontaneous decision. However, I do not want to make such a decision driven by my own desires, but by the will of God. It will be a leap of faith to go, because financially I cannot afford another trip at the moment. But I know if it is God’s will, He will provide. I will have one more chat with my sister today, and then I’ll make a solid decision.

The last but not least, a though came to mind while I was reading a moment ago. As I am schedule to train at BPM soon, God challenged me to be bold.

“… but the righteous are as bold as lion.”
-Ps 28:1b

Train out of the Bible. Until now I have only trained out of the teachings of the Bible, but not straight out of the Bible. I won’t know how the office will react, but Gal. 6:9, right?

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Gal 6:9

The Heart of Worship

Today I began my training for the 8 days, 100km backpacking trip through Killarney Provincial Park with Don next month. It was only a 5 km jog in the morning, 10 lbs on my back, and hit the gym for some weights in the afternoon. I’m still a long way from strapping on a 50 lbs pack and hike for 12 hours a day. Don, I will need to strengthen my knees and back in order to keep up you. Maybe I should have listened and begin training a month ago. :-)

During the jog, I had the chance to reflect on the camping trip this past weekend with my Care Group. Funny unlike my previous camps, it wasn’t God’s creation that inspired me the most, but it was the fellowship we had, sitting around the campfire chatting till the middle of the night. Also for the decision to pack up early Sunday to make our way back to church, I’ll have to thank Jenny. Thank her for her heart of worship she showed me in Vegas. It was because we made the effort to get back to church, I had the opportunity to let God speak to me during service. God reminded me of the Parable of Prodigal Son. Just like when I came back to the Load last year, previous thinking take I could have handled this world on my own; only to come back to Him with a failed engineering career and a failed 7 years relationship. The Lord did not sit on His throne waiting for my return and my explanation, but rather He rand to me, hugged me and kissed me, before I even said a single word.

So I guess that is the heart of worship, making the effort to be with God. In our busy lives it is so easy to neglect our personal time with God. As Bill Hybel said in his book, Too Busy Not to Pray. When life overwhelms us, we have to slow down to be with God. That’s why I treasure the time I spend with God as I write in this journal. Pray to God that no on can take this time with God away from me.

Last but not least, today in the office, Ed and I had a good discussion regarding God’s purpose for us in the office. Ed told me that "We do need to encourage each other in the faith and be more active in the ministry of witnessing to our WFG friends and colleagues."

My Place in WFG

As I drove back from Ottawa today, I had the opportunity to use the solitude to think. Ever since that close call on the highway last winter, a truck causing me to spin 360° on the highway, I dread driving long distances. Especially driving alone. However I still treasure the thoughts, the conversations with God, and singing praises at the top of my lungs while I drive long distance alone.

Today, I tried to find some answers to the issue that been bothering me for the longest time. How to serve God in World Financial Group? I have had many similar conversations with Tim, Dave and Fanny regarding this.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
-Matt 6:24

To be honest, that kept me from putting all my effort in WFG in the first place. But now that God has given me the MD title, there must be a purpose for me. How do I teach people concepts to become financially independent while not being a slave to money? Tim, Fanny and I concluded that if we can teach people not to worry able money, then they won't be slaved to it. Is it that simple though? Because in the process of "obtaining" wealth, one is driven by money, and hence are being enslaved by it.

How I wish to have a Christian leader at work that I can relate to...

I remember one thing that Pat Kwan told me after the Gala really hit me. She said "It is good to finally see a good Christian promoted to MD in the office." It was as if God trying to tell me something. And the fact that I am now sharing a office room with Ed Yeung, we now have a Christian stronghold in the Markham office.

God had given me plenty of opportunities in the past to share my faith in the office. To Peter, Bonnie and Hassan. Plus the many times I have done BPM training out of the Bible or sermon notes. Maybe this is an area of service God is calling me into. Tentmaking.

"Joel, would you mind making another career change in the future?" Asked Rev. Michael Lau. Over lunch discussing plans for the Church Planting Project.

I had the burden for China ever since the Tentmaking workshop at Missionfest... and God is slowly equiping me with Mardarin over last month, and I am not afraid to do a Cantonese BPM. Plus Judy told me last night that she plans to announce operations in Hong Kong in Oct, and now that I'm MD, she invited me to join her.

Is it Your will, Lord?

"You said, Ask and I'll give the nation to you.
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the island will see
Your light as it rises on us."
-You Said

Give me China, Lord. Not for wealth or fame, but for Your glory!

Is God really using WFG as a vehicle for me to tentmake in China? If so, maybe God is calling me to be THAT Christian leader I've been looking for.

From Chruch Planting to Tentmaking in China... God has opened many doors for me, and many challenges too. Lord, give me the faith and the strength to step through these open doors. And Lord, help me resist the temptations to serve money, but to serve only You, the King of kings, Lord of lords.

Send me, Lord.

Thoughts on becoming Marketing Director

It has been a week sice my Marketing Director promotion, and as of yesterday, it is offical on the system. The excitment have cooled off, my head have stopped spinning. Now I can calmly put the whole experience into words.

Marketing Director.

For the longest time, I debated on why I wanted to run for Marketing Director. Yeah, I believed that God put me in World Financial Group to teach me lessons, but why run for Marketing Director?

To me, as a Christian, "running" for Marketing Director seemed like ironic. I could put all my effort into "running" for MD, which I did since last December, but I learned that if it is not God's will, He won't give it to you. So it was a constant struggle for me. To "run", or to just let God do it. But I also learned that I cannot just sit around and "wait" for God to do everything. So I was in a dilemma.

It is funny how God been opening doors for me for my MD promotion ever since back in December. And when I think that I'm about to make it, He closes the door on me. By dangling a carrot in front of me, God taught me patience while kept me pushing forward.

In December, with my uncle's case, I could of made the point for MD right away. However, God kept me from closing the case for several months. And in April, when the case was reopened, along with Kam's case (10k points) in the bag, I really thought MD was done deal. But once again, God closed the doors and dragged the case on for another 2 months. I was frustrated.

In the meantime, everyone around me told me that I did a very good job in preparing and presenting my uncle's case. Everyone including TTW, both Sonia and Esther, and Mitchel Singer, the tax lawyer from Transamerica. That case became to talk of the office. My pride started to take over and began to think the I could get myself to MD without anyone's help. And I began to forget to bring glory to God. So God had other plans for me, and refuse to let me close the case. So I eventually shelved the case.

It seem like all was lost in June, with 15k points about to roll, and 31k points to go, I was about to toss in the white towel.

Amazingly, God provided. Within one week, my most disciplined client called me to do further investments and also I found out my parent's insurance policy surrender period was up and needs to be replaced. I quickly closed the cases, and on manual points, I was done. June 20. God is good.

Praise the Lord.

First to hit MD among Ed, Cynthia, and Katy, my pride began to take over again. What I didn't know was God still have one more lesson for me to learn.

Come July 9, the day that June points were suppose to hit the system - I have all my paperwork ready to submit to Head Office for my promotion, thought of running acrossing the stage in Vegas on my mind. The system shows I am 755 point short.

755 points!!! You got to be kidding?!?

By July 15, I realized the error was in a comination of a RSP trade did not reach the system in time, and errors in the points Hassan reported to me.

I was discouraged, it seemed that life was drained out of me. I had 2 options: to dig up 755 points in Apr, May or June, or to run for another 16k points in July.

At the time, I was tired. No, more like exhausted. I knew 16k points is not impossible, but at my current physical state, with 10 days before I fly out to Vegas, I knew it is going to be tough. Especially when my focus will be divided to look for 755 points. Good thing at least Hassan has momentum this month.

I tried every possible way, gone through every channel, till the last week of July, I still could not dig up 755 more points. I had the whole Markham office, TTW, Sherina, Sonia, the Canadian and US Head Office helping me out. I found some true friends during this period of stress: Robert, Julia, and Sonia.

I did everything humanly possible, and I still stepped on the plane to Vegas 9000 points short. I'm burnt out. Everything is up to Hassan now, he told me he will close the 9000 points for me in two days.

It was on that flight, as in my July 27 & 28 journal entry, that I broke down and submit to God.

Only then, God gave me the promotion.

Marketing Director.

Praise the Lord.

All glory belongs to God.

It is truly God's will for me to get this promotion. But only according to his schedule, not by my own works, after I have learned all my lessons and by submitting to Him. Only then, God provided. You can "run", but it's still up to God's timing.

That is why I was lost of words on the stage when I received my promotion... I'm in awe.



Photos