A New Song... A Love Song

"I waited patiently for the LORD ;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD ."
~Psalms 40:1-3

The Lord have spoken to me: :The time has come, Joel, I have taught you how to speak, I have taught you how to cry out to Me. I have lifted you out of the slimy pit and set your feet on a firm place. Now learn how to listen. Most importantly, how to listen to me. I'll give you new song. Sing. Dance. Lift up you hands in praises."

God, have Your Spirit flow through me. I long for You hand to move in me. Thank You for proving to me over and over again that You are real. Father, Father. Use me. Every time You speak through me, WOW!, I am drained physically, but fulfilled Spiritually. I'm nothing but and instrument for You. And out of tone instrument. Lord, tune Your instrument and make a new song out of me. I know as You turn the tuning pegs of me, it will hurt. It will seem the my life is ringing out of sync, the pulsing echo of a new song not in tune with what I want will hurt my ears. But Lord, what is better than to have my life live out Your will. Write Your new song in me, write Your story in me. Thank You for show me the back cover of this story of Joel. A love story of how You offered Your Son whom "You loved and fully pleased". How through Your Son You lifted me out of mud and murk. That's a story I'm excited to see unfold. My love story, written by God. All other stories seem blend compared to this.

Father, Father. I knew on the road ahead of me, I will be tested. I will be put into trials. Lord, break me down to my knees, in awe of You. Thank You for reminding me again and again that You have walk this road already and will walk down this road with me hand in hand. Lord, it's all about You. I want to see how Your story of me unfolds, not my version of the story. My story is of a tragedy, but Your story is one of love. At the end, what can it take away from this world? Not the riches of earth, not the earthly relationships. Yes, not even relationships. In heaven, all brothers and sisters will knew each other and praise God together. The only thing I can take away from this world is my character. Lord, then I want You to shape my character.

Refocus

Bible Reading, currently at Leviticus 8. Getting behind on my Bible reading.

Wow, so weird. A new look in easyjournal.

"Busyness" over. Finally, the rush of RSP season is now behind me. Not that I'm complaining, but you know that I do not like the word "busy". So "busy", just look at my journal entries over my last month. Sorry, Lord, I know you've dropped many hints throughout the month to draw me back to having quiet times with You in the journal.

I hear Your voice, Lord. I hear You calling. I want to be with You. Near You.

"You are all
Big and small
Beautiful
And wonderful
To trust in grace through faith
But I'm asking to taste...

For dark is light to You
Depths are height to You
Far is near
But Lord, i need to hear from You

Be near, oh God
Be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
Be near, oh God
Be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good, our good"
~Be Near

Psalm 73:28

How can I sum up most of the month's thoughts in one journal. I know I cannot. Because God is so real, so true. Even Moses' face shine bright after catching a glimpses of God's back. How can you begin to describe such an experience? You cannot. Just like how I cannot describe God presence throughout this month.

I don't get it. With my workload, church, relationship building and family time, I should be completely burnt out. And yes, there were times in the month I felt as though I would. But by God's grace, I made it though, with many lesson learned too.

First of all, God taught me to appreciate the Psalms. Psalms 13, 23, 73, 118, 121, 137, 139, 145... all came alive to me. The Bible, God's love letter to me, comforted me. Thank You, Lord, for letting me speak in the Children Worship in these past two weeks. Preaching on God's Amazing Bible, and the Life Transformation aspect of the Bible. Now I carry my NLT Bible everywhere I go... I feel lost without it.

And Lord, never have I been so excited about going to seminary this September. Even now, I can feel You are preparing me for You good work.

"It is God's way of preparing us in every way, fully equipped for every good thing God wants us to do."
~2 Tim 3:17 NLT

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Well, I am going to stop here and call it the night. I know starting tomorrow, my leadership and interpersonal skills will be put to the test. Share more in this area tomorrow.

In His Service,
Joel

Today I Will Make a Difference

TODAY I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE ---
by Max Lucado

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It's OK to stumble… . I will get up. It's OK to fail… . I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family.
A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.

Today I will make a difference.

Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failure. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on.
_________________________________
From On the Anvil
Copyright 1985 Max Lucado

Vision of a Miracle

It was 4:00am this morning when I arrived home from Houston. Tired, exhausted, and ill. Our flight was delayed for 3 hours due to weather in Chicago. Flight crew and passenger were all ready and waiting in Houston waiting for Chicago to give us the green light to fly.

Before we arrived at the airport, I was famished. Up since 5:00am, lining up for the convention, beside the pop tarts I had in my bag, I have not ate until we were at the airport at 5:00pm. Even after the delightful salad, I can feel sickness beginning to come upon me. My throat began to hurt, headache began to set in.

It is amazing how God has a plan for everything. Throughout the weekend, I was waiting for God's word of comfort, but none came. Not even when I was on my flight to Houston (Compared to last year's flight to Las Vegas).

http://joeya.easyjournal.com/default.asp?eid=2215021

While we waited for our flight at the gate, uncertain if we will be home tonight, my exhaustion and sickness overcame me. I was out cold. When we finally got the go ahead to board our flight, I praise God for giving me the whole row of seats where I can lie down and rest. And I slept again. On the flight, the air pressure in the cabin amplified the pains in my head, and by this time I cannot hear anything out of my left ear. An eerie silence overcame me as I dosed off again.

And in my sleep, I had a vision. I vision of God speaking to me. A vision of comfort, how God will reveal His glory to me through a miracle as He lifts me up from this valley. On one condition: that I will serve Him wholeheartedly in the office, to share His love to my colleges. Then, in this silence, a sudden peace overwhelmed me.

" The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever. "
~Psalm 23

Thinking back over this weekend, there has always been a brother or sister in Christ by my side. Ed Young, Roger Lu, Bik Kun Chin, David & Fanny, and Helen Ngo. A constant reminder of we are called to do God's work in every aspect of our lives. To fulfill His eternal purpose.

Last but not lest, I wished there was another brother and sister that could of joined us in Houston this weekend: Mark and Jenny. But by God's grace and love, I praise God for His protecting hands that they are safe back home in Vancouver.

It's all about You, Lord.

Waiting for God's Words

Houston, Texas. 2005 WFG World Team Annual Convention.

By myself, in line since 8:00am, doors open at 10:00am, and convention begins at 1:00pm. In front of me in the line, the team of Jesse and Jeff Tsao. Somehow, no matter how early I get in line, they are always in front of me.

To pass time, I have God's word through Max Lucado and the Bible in my bag. But I cannot sit still. Thoughts once again overwhelmed my mind. Thoughts of Mark's car accident, thoughts of month's end finances, and thoughts of the salvation of uncle, auntie and grandparents.

Last evening, in a meeting in John's room in preparation of today's convention, Tran informed me of Mark's car accident on his way to Seattle airport. My heart sank. I immediately called Mark and left him a voicemail. Praise God that the occupants of Mark's vehicle are alive aside from some injuries. Another car accident... I broke into tears. Lord, what are you trying to tell me through this series of car accidents since December of last year?

Upon hearing this news, my own burdens and problems seem trivial. An SMS message from sister Alice yesterday was the best advise for times like these.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."
~Prov 3:5,6

Just trust in the Lord, and wait for God's words

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Aside from these thoughts, I praise God for the coffee house back home on Friday. I learn that we had an attendance of 65, 25 of them newcomers!!! In the end, 2 received salvation. Praise the Lord!!! Let's continue to pray for those who heard God's word and for the growth of the 2 new believes.

An Kaleidoscope of Thoughts

February 9, 10:47pm

Sitting in the kitchen, laptop and a cup of tea. Dinner ready, but I'm not sure how much of that I would touch. The hum of the laptop, clicking of the keyboard, the ticking of the kitchen clock and the occasion rumble of the basement furnace are the only sounds. Day 3 of being home alone, family in NYC. MSN off, Outlook close, cellphone off; just me, solitude in the kitchen.

Just came home from the Donald Miller lecture at Tyndale. Shoveled two driveways. As I drove home from Tyndale, for the first time in a long time, I turned off my car CD player. I just wanted to listen to the sound the tires splashing on the fresh fallen snow, the hum of the engine and I shifted through my gears, and most importantly, the kaleidoscope of thoughts echoing in my mind.

Before I continue, just want to wish you all a happy New Year.

I do not know how long I am going to be in front of my laptop pounding out this journal. I have my cup of tea, and a kettle of hot water behind me waiting just in case.

I did attempt to give a specific title to today's journal. If I do, I would have limited myself to one thought. Actually, this entry will be "random" thoughts that has piled up in my mind over the last two weeks.

"Random" thoughts.

Are they truly random? Or are they careful orchestrated and planted in our minds by our Father? If they are from our Father, shouldn't we turn down the noise of this world and be sensitive to what God has to say?


Clearing of the Temple

Noise. The physical wave of compressed air molecules the vibrates our eardrums as faintly as one billionth of a centimeter. Or the chemicals our glands released into our body that causes an increase of heart rate, stress, anxiety, excitement, depression, or fear. Or the random electrical impulses produces by our neurons as we daydream, think, doubt, or imagine.

Compressed air molecules, chemicals, electrical impulses. How can these tiny, miniscule things interferers with our ability to discern God's voice?

Not only external environment or internal state can distract us from God, but even the build up of God's voices can prevent from properly digesting what God is trying to teach us.

Over the last few days, due to my own weaknesses in the lack of quiet, reflection time, what God have told me over that last two weeks piled up until my mind was so crowded with thought I could no long think with a clear mind. And in that state of mind, Satan smells blood and came in for the kill. Temptations. Distractions. Doubt. I was down and out. Burned out. Questioning God. Why? I lost sight of my eternal calling. Lost sight of my eternal treasures.

I wanted to toss in the white towel. That's it God, take me home. I did not care about God's purpose for me at the moment. I just wanted to go home.

But wait a minute. That's not Joel? Depressed, down and out? No way. Wow!! Satan is sneaky. Maybe it was the loneliness of being home alone. Maybe it was the stress of work. Maybe from the pressure of leading the English Congregation. Maybe a combination of all of the above. Satan sees the opportunity, and plants doubts, and lies.

Thanks to Alice for reminding me to "clear the temple". Let's began by sorting out what God has taught me over these last few weeks. Then, seeing a better picture of God, I can flush out the slim gathered in my heart.


The Language of Eternity

Eternity. And constant theme that God is teaching me beginning back in December from the 722 "Treasure" series of sermons. And it was the basis of the sermon God spoke through me two Sundays ago.

Yet, because of doubt, Satan used this very topic to attack me.

I thought I was beginning to grasp God's language of eternity. Eternal treasures. Doing God's work on earth, storing treasures in heaven. Things of this world are temporary. Look for the eternal calling.

All these talk about eternity made me look forward to one day spending eternity in heaven. I wanted it so much that I began to wonder, why can I not be in eternity now? God take me home. I do not want to be in this temporary world any more.

And I missed the whole point. It is not only about spending eternity in heaven, there is also our eternal purpose. PDL, Purpose Driven Life. What is our purpose? To reflect God's glory! We are nothing but a mirror.

Why are there sufferings? So the God's glory will be revealed. Why is God testing me again and again? So that His glory may be shown.

But in the mist of these suffering, yes, we are learning lessons from God. How do we conduction ourselves in the valleys in life?


Wrestling with God

Reading Genesis over the last few days, I was challenged. In suffering, should we be sheep and patiently wait for God to lead us through the valley of death? Or should we be like Jacob and wrestle with God until he was blessed but walk away crippled?

But before swinging from one extreme to another, I realize that both requires tremendous faith. Blind faith (Eph 2:8) vs. active faith (Jas 2:17). Oh, what a theological argument this can cause! But the common denominator is faith.

Yes, there is nothing wrong in patiently waiting for God's plan to unfold, but there's also "ask and ye shall receive". There nothing wrong in asking, pleading, or even demanding things from God. If it is His plan, it will be given.

As I journeyed through the book of Genesis, I am intrigued by the way the character communicated with God. Abraham bargained with God over Sodom and Gomorrah. Sarah laughed at God. Isaac blindly obeyed God. Jacob wrestled with God. Joseph patiently waited for God's plan to unfold. Four generations, all unique attitude in communicated with God.

I want to be able to speak with God like in the Old Testament. And I believe we can. For Grace had said that, "If we are close to God, there's no way we would not know what God's plan is."


A Journey through the Bible

While I am on the topic of reading through Genesis, I just came up with an idea of how to keep myself accountable and I plan to read the Bible from cover to cover before I enter seminary. In my journals, I will regularly update my progress through the Bible and anyone reading my journals can keep me accountable.

I restarted reading the Bible last week, reading the NLT version.

Bible Reading, currently at Exodus 13.


*********

12:32am

I think I will stop here tonight. Temple cleared. Feel much better now. I should rest up and so that I will be fresh for another theological and philosophical episode of Tyndale lecture with Donald Miller.

Good night, everyone.

Love in Christ,
Joel

Rethinking the Purpose of the Journal

Grandparents and relatives are in town, heading into Ottawa with them today. If I were to bump into uncle (5 "goo cheng") on the streets, I would not have recognized him. And grandma and grandpa looked much older than I remembered when I went back to Hong Kong two years ago.

Urgency.

There's no time to waste. God, I live them up into Your hands. Open up their eyes, soften their hearts.

********

As for the journal, one reason I have not updated it recently was a struggle that I had. How can I talk about making myself transparent without drawing attention to myself but defect that attention and glory to God?

Taking me out and putting God in.

Less of me.

Enough About Me, Let's Pray for Others First

Greetings brothers and sisters. I first must apologize for the lack of journal entries over the last month. And over the past two weeks if you were not physically around me, in time I will share how the amazing work God had done in my life.

I have so much I want to share, yet I still have so much to do. So maybe I'll first share what's on my mind at the moment so you may kindly keep these items in your prayers.

Relatives visiting TO
My grandparents (from my dad's side) are arriving from Hong Kong tonight. The thought of seeing them again makes me extremely excited. However, please keep them in your prayers for they yet to know the Lord. They will be staying with us for 3 weeks. Along with my grandparents, my Aunt and Uncle from LA will also visit us tonight, but they are only staying for 1 week. If it is God's will and His timing, pray that we will cease the opportunities to share God's word with them.

Children Worship sermon series
Now that the English Worship is done last Sunday, my focus is shifted to the 2 sermons for the Children Worship in the end of February. The sermon topic is on "The Amazing Book" (The Holy Bible). Pray God will continue to equipped me as I prepare to share God's word with the little ones.

Outreach programs
There will be several outreach program in the coming week organized by the church. Unfortunately, since I'll be in Houston next weekend, I'll miss all of them. However, please join me in prayers for these programs. Pray that newcomer will have the chance to share God's love with us.

Alice and Patrick
Please pray for Alice and Patrick. They have made great sacrifices for God as I was prepared my sermon for last week. May God use them greatly in these tough time and strengthen their faith as they seek direction from God.

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If anyone of you have any prayer request, please do not hesitate to send me a message and I'll keep them in my prayers.

Thanks to Jenny for sending me a reminder last week, using the quote I always us to shake me up a bit.

"Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. We become preoccupied with making a living, doing our work, paying bills, and accomplishing goals as if these task are the point of life. They are not. The point of life is learning to love - God and people. Life minus love equals zero."
~Purpose Driven Life, Day 16

It's RSP season, but I will not let the busyness of work bog me down. But yet, I will do what I preached; To do my BEST at work. Over the next few days, I'll post updates on what I've learn over the last few weeks.

Prayerfully yours,
Joel