"Christ . . is more of an artist than the artists; he works in the living spirit and the living flesh; he makes men instead of statues."
~ Vincent Van Gogh, The Complete Letters, B9, III, 499
On the drive to school today, I was reflecting on the work God is doing in my life. Why did the past few days feel so grim? I reminded myself to rejoice in trials and tribulations, but at times that seem so hard. How did Paul do it when he was in chains? Or when David was in the wilderness running from his very own king, how did he cope with the stress? When king Saul walked into the cave where David was hiding, what was running through his mind?
In Spiritual Formation yesterday, Dr. Sherbino mentioned the condition "reactive depression". "Reactive depression" when one is depressed due to the reaction to an external event. I am "reactivity depressed" when I do not meet my own expectations. When I and disappointed with myself, I can feel the energy drain out of me. When I am stressed, I want to sleep.
Yet, I can hear God telling me this is the project He's is working on. Getting me to cope with emotional stress. Should I be disappointed at myself to the point of depression? God, Creator of the heavens and the earth, master artist, he makes men instead of statues. His medium is my flesh. "And God saw that it was good" As a fellow artist, I can understand if someone devalues my works. I'd get angry because I poured my heart out into my creation... How would God feel when we devalues His masterpiece.
He did not make me out of stones the is static through the passage of time. He made me out of flesh, sharping me according to the current conditions and preparing me for future challenges. Therefore I how He has great things planned for me... all I have to do is to endure, with joy, the current challenges.
Tuesday, January 31
Monday, January 30
Where does my strength come from?
A new day, a new morning, a new start.
Renew strength, where does this strength come from?
"I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from GOD,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains."
~Psalm 121:1, Message
I feel so renewed that I want to write, I want to sing. This is how David must have felt when he write psalms.
I want the write songs and poems too... but don't have either gifts. Then I'll just stick with the ramblings of my journals. :)
Renew strength, where does this strength come from?
"I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from GOD,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains."
~Psalm 121:1, Message
I feel so renewed that I want to write, I want to sing. This is how David must have felt when he write psalms.
I want the write songs and poems too... but don't have either gifts. Then I'll just stick with the ramblings of my journals. :)
Feeling Sick
I feel sick. Past two days, I feel like I want to throw up. Headaches. Clogged up sinuses. Runny nose. Maybe it is psychological. Maybe I am imagining I'm getting sick as an escape from the stress. Maybe it is my subconscious self-defense mechanism. For the past week, by the afternoon, I would feel sick. But in the morning, I am refreshed.
Whenever it is. I gotta be careful.
Whenever it is. I gotta be careful.
Sunday, January 29
Three Strikes, You're... Saved By Grace
Second Chances...
How many second chances have I gotten? How many second chances do I deserve? Probably none. But my life is filled with second chances.
I sat at school in front of the fireplace in the cafeteria all afternoon, alone, reading... sobbing. I love Tyndale on Sundays afternoons. It is so quiet and peaceful. I sat there, with the warmth of the fire (heater) drying my tears. Tears of sadness. Tears of disappointment. I'm disappointed with myself. How many times have I dropped the ball over the past few months? How much longer can I smile in the face of challenges? Physically, I can endure the beatings. But emotionally and psychologically, I am wearing thin.
Stress.
I rarely admit that I an stressed. Maybe because I am not easily stressed. I am my toughest critic. I am stressed whenever I feel that I am not meeting my expectations, especially if it affect others. And I beat myself up if I do not meet other's expectations, let alone my own expectations.
I can definite feel the stress. And being a person that can usually suppress stress, I do not handle stress well when it does build up. Stress brings the worst out of me. I'll snap. And that was 5 years ago. Yes, I've learn to be better than that. But I'm near my breaking point. I don't want to snap. I don't want to crash. There is too much on the line. Every blood, sweat, and tears over the past two years, all the lessons learned, all the pain endured... all on thin ice.
Sitting is service today, I feel there is a raging fire burning all around me. I close my eyes, and I can see the fire. Bridges burning. It seems the only safe haven was in front of the fire place in Tyndale. Am I resorting back to my old self? Picking up my backpack and disappear into the woods at first sign of stress. No, Joel. I cannot do that. I am better than that now. And God reminding me in my readings today:
"The spiritual life is not a life of quiet withdrawal, a hothouse growth of artificial ascetic practices beyond the reach of people living ordinary lives. It is in the ordinary duties and labors of life that the Christian can and should develop his spiritual union with God.... Christian holiness in our age means more than ever the awareness of our common responsibility to cooperate with the mysterious designs of God for the human race. This awareness will be illusory unless it is enlightened by divine grace, strengthened by generous effort, and sought in collaboration not only with the authorities of the Church but with all men of good will who are working for the temporal and spiritual good of the human race."
~Thomas Merton, Life and Holiness, 9-10
What good is it if I go on a quiet withdrawal and cut off myself with this world? I cannot be like a monk and hide in a monastery. Similarly, I cannot simply isolate myself while backpacking in search of my spiritually. Awareness of our common responsibility to cooperate with the mysterious designs of God for the human race. This awareness will be illusory unless it is enlightened by divine grace.
Second chance.
According to my own critic, 3 strikes I'm out. But God reached down from heaven, picked me up, dusted me off, straighten my uniform, and sends me back out to bat again. All because of His grace. Even though I failed Him and disappointed Him countless times, He still wants to use me in His ministry.
I dunno want to say but "thank you, Lord." He reminds me in return. Gratitude Be thankful always, for God, for others around you, and for yourself.
"For myself?" I asked.
"You are fearfully and wonderfully made." He relied.
How many second chances have I gotten? How many second chances do I deserve? Probably none. But my life is filled with second chances.
I sat at school in front of the fireplace in the cafeteria all afternoon, alone, reading... sobbing. I love Tyndale on Sundays afternoons. It is so quiet and peaceful. I sat there, with the warmth of the fire (heater) drying my tears. Tears of sadness. Tears of disappointment. I'm disappointed with myself. How many times have I dropped the ball over the past few months? How much longer can I smile in the face of challenges? Physically, I can endure the beatings. But emotionally and psychologically, I am wearing thin.
Stress.
I rarely admit that I an stressed. Maybe because I am not easily stressed. I am my toughest critic. I am stressed whenever I feel that I am not meeting my expectations, especially if it affect others. And I beat myself up if I do not meet other's expectations, let alone my own expectations.
I can definite feel the stress. And being a person that can usually suppress stress, I do not handle stress well when it does build up. Stress brings the worst out of me. I'll snap. And that was 5 years ago. Yes, I've learn to be better than that. But I'm near my breaking point. I don't want to snap. I don't want to crash. There is too much on the line. Every blood, sweat, and tears over the past two years, all the lessons learned, all the pain endured... all on thin ice.
Sitting is service today, I feel there is a raging fire burning all around me. I close my eyes, and I can see the fire. Bridges burning. It seems the only safe haven was in front of the fire place in Tyndale. Am I resorting back to my old self? Picking up my backpack and disappear into the woods at first sign of stress. No, Joel. I cannot do that. I am better than that now. And God reminding me in my readings today:
"The spiritual life is not a life of quiet withdrawal, a hothouse growth of artificial ascetic practices beyond the reach of people living ordinary lives. It is in the ordinary duties and labors of life that the Christian can and should develop his spiritual union with God.... Christian holiness in our age means more than ever the awareness of our common responsibility to cooperate with the mysterious designs of God for the human race. This awareness will be illusory unless it is enlightened by divine grace, strengthened by generous effort, and sought in collaboration not only with the authorities of the Church but with all men of good will who are working for the temporal and spiritual good of the human race."
~Thomas Merton, Life and Holiness, 9-10
What good is it if I go on a quiet withdrawal and cut off myself with this world? I cannot be like a monk and hide in a monastery. Similarly, I cannot simply isolate myself while backpacking in search of my spiritually. Awareness of our common responsibility to cooperate with the mysterious designs of God for the human race. This awareness will be illusory unless it is enlightened by divine grace.
Second chance.
According to my own critic, 3 strikes I'm out. But God reached down from heaven, picked me up, dusted me off, straighten my uniform, and sends me back out to bat again. All because of His grace. Even though I failed Him and disappointed Him countless times, He still wants to use me in His ministry.
I dunno want to say but "thank you, Lord." He reminds me in return. Gratitude Be thankful always, for God, for others around you, and for yourself.
"For myself?" I asked.
"You are fearfully and wonderfully made." He relied.
Friday, January 27
Gravity
Oh I hate gravity. Whenever I want to climb back up onto my two feet and get yank down again. Whatever happened to "flying on wings like eagles". I felt that I've been grounded for the last several months. Everytime I tried to get my life back in order, something else pops up and I'm once again ground. I feel as though my knees are bloody from falling. I feel that I'm on the verge of burnt out with all the stress... but somehow God has been sustaining me. Maybe of His plans for me this year. School till April, Mekong in May, church internship Jun-Aug, back to school Sept-Dec, Urbana in Dec. I cannot let myself get burnt out. There's no time to get burnt out.
I want to cry the prayer of Psalm 13. If David can cry out to God, if Job can accuse God, if Jacob can wrestle with God, and if Moses and Abraham can barter with God, I should cry out too. How come I feel as though my world is collapsing around me? I feel as though the bridges around me is being burnt. Yes, I have the support and the fellowship of those at Tyndale and at church... but everything else is falling apart. Who am I to ministry to if my bridges to my non-Christian friends are on fire? And everytime I grab a bucket to put out the fire, it is as though I'd grab a bucket of oil by mistake and make things worst.
Lord. What do you want me to do? I cannot just shelter myself in Tyndale and in church. What kind of witness am I bringing to my friends. And everytime something happens, all my energy is sucked out of me. Joel the Mellable? Yes, I am beaten into a pulp. I know physically I can take this beating... but emotionally and psychologically, I now know that I'm weak. Maybe that why Rev. Lau is concern about me emotionally - that I need emotional support. But what am I suppose to do? I do my part in listening and waiting in patience. Waiting as things get worst and I do not have the strength to make things right. Maybe I should seek professional help at school, go see Kaarina or go see one for the counselors.
What am I to do, Lord? And what are you teaching me. Why won't you pick me up and put me on solid ground as you promised in Psalm 40.
But Lord, thank you for your reassurance that when I hit rock bottom, that rock is You, Jesus. That why I should love gravity. Gravity keeps me grounded on the Rock.
I want to cry the prayer of Psalm 13. If David can cry out to God, if Job can accuse God, if Jacob can wrestle with God, and if Moses and Abraham can barter with God, I should cry out too. How come I feel as though my world is collapsing around me? I feel as though the bridges around me is being burnt. Yes, I have the support and the fellowship of those at Tyndale and at church... but everything else is falling apart. Who am I to ministry to if my bridges to my non-Christian friends are on fire? And everytime I grab a bucket to put out the fire, it is as though I'd grab a bucket of oil by mistake and make things worst.
Lord. What do you want me to do? I cannot just shelter myself in Tyndale and in church. What kind of witness am I bringing to my friends. And everytime something happens, all my energy is sucked out of me. Joel the Mellable? Yes, I am beaten into a pulp. I know physically I can take this beating... but emotionally and psychologically, I now know that I'm weak. Maybe that why Rev. Lau is concern about me emotionally - that I need emotional support. But what am I suppose to do? I do my part in listening and waiting in patience. Waiting as things get worst and I do not have the strength to make things right. Maybe I should seek professional help at school, go see Kaarina or go see one for the counselors.
What am I to do, Lord? And what are you teaching me. Why won't you pick me up and put me on solid ground as you promised in Psalm 40.
But Lord, thank you for your reassurance that when I hit rock bottom, that rock is You, Jesus. That why I should love gravity. Gravity keeps me grounded on the Rock.
Wednesday, January 25
Fit for Heaven?
A question popped into my head today during Systematic Theology class: "Are you fit for heaven?"
What will we do in heaven? I imagine a big feast.... mmmmm, 24/7 buffet. I imagine a big party. Boy, we will have a blast in heaven. But what else will we do in heaven? Will we hop on clouds? Will be play harps? What will heaven be like?
I dunno, I have never been there. But one thing I know is that heaven is where the presence of God will be. A place where we will have a renew followship with God. Somewhere we can fulfill our purpose.
Our purpose to serve the Lord in obedience.
So imagine that. In heaven, with all the fun we are going to have, we get to fulfill our purpose in obedience to the Lord. That mean here on earth we have a chance to practice what we will do for eternally. Just like practicing for the big game, the finals. You would not to be at the finals and not ready to play your best game.
"Are you fit for heaven?"
Will you be ready for heaven? Why don't we start living our lives in obedience now? So that we will be fit for heaven!
What will we do in heaven? I imagine a big feast.... mmmmm, 24/7 buffet. I imagine a big party. Boy, we will have a blast in heaven. But what else will we do in heaven? Will we hop on clouds? Will be play harps? What will heaven be like?
I dunno, I have never been there. But one thing I know is that heaven is where the presence of God will be. A place where we will have a renew followship with God. Somewhere we can fulfill our purpose.
Our purpose to serve the Lord in obedience.
So imagine that. In heaven, with all the fun we are going to have, we get to fulfill our purpose in obedience to the Lord. That mean here on earth we have a chance to practice what we will do for eternally. Just like practicing for the big game, the finals. You would not to be at the finals and not ready to play your best game.
"Are you fit for heaven?"
Will you be ready for heaven? Why don't we start living our lives in obedience now? So that we will be fit for heaven!
Tuesday, January 24
Gratitude
What do you understand by the providence of God?
Providence is
The almighty and ever-present power of God
whereby he still upholds, as it were by his own hand,
heaven
and earth
together with all creatures,
and rules in such a way that
leaves and grass,
rain and drought,
fruitful and unfruitful years,
food and drink,
health and sickness,
riches and poverty,
and everything else, come to us
not by chance
but by his fatherly hand.
~Heidelberg Catechism, Q&A 27
Our lives, is a gift. We get to enjoy life, and everything else the surrounds our lives, and we seldom say "Thank you". Gratitude takes nothing for granted. Gratitude is not just about giving thanks to the gift, but it also recognizes the giver. When was the last time you recognize the giver of life?
I reflection of my thought on Sunday morning, the Lord is my breath, we ought to give thanks to the giver and the creator for life. But also we ought to give thanks for our purpose. Our purpose to serve the Lord in obedience. Thank you, Lord, for slowly revealing the joy in serving You. Serving You in obedience is not a burden, but it is in my being to serve with joy.
John 15:9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
You make my joy complete, and I abid in Your love and faithfully obey Your commands.
Gratitude
by Nichole Nordeman
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread
Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . . .
Providence is
The almighty and ever-present power of God
whereby he still upholds, as it were by his own hand,
heaven
and earth
together with all creatures,
and rules in such a way that
leaves and grass,
rain and drought,
fruitful and unfruitful years,
food and drink,
health and sickness,
riches and poverty,
and everything else, come to us
not by chance
but by his fatherly hand.
~Heidelberg Catechism, Q&A 27
Our lives, is a gift. We get to enjoy life, and everything else the surrounds our lives, and we seldom say "Thank you". Gratitude takes nothing for granted. Gratitude is not just about giving thanks to the gift, but it also recognizes the giver. When was the last time you recognize the giver of life?
I reflection of my thought on Sunday morning, the Lord is my breath, we ought to give thanks to the giver and the creator for life. But also we ought to give thanks for our purpose. Our purpose to serve the Lord in obedience. Thank you, Lord, for slowly revealing the joy in serving You. Serving You in obedience is not a burden, but it is in my being to serve with joy.
John 15:9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."
You make my joy complete, and I abid in Your love and faithfully obey Your commands.
Gratitude
by Nichole Nordeman
Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain
Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread
Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need
So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .
(Chorus)
We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . . .
Sunday, January 22
The Lord is my ____________
During reflection time in service today, Rev. Lau asked us to fill in the blank. "The Lord is my ____________"
I just sit there for minutes, thinking. Names of God started flashing through my head. In the seminary chapel this year, we are looking at the different names of God...
YHWH
Jehovah
Good Shephard
El Shaddai - God Almighty
Gaol - Redeemer
Shaphat - Judge
Logos - Word
Adonai - Master
Jehovah-Jirah - The Lord will Provide
Elohim - God
Jehovah-Shalom - The Lord of Peace
El lyon - Lord Most High
Yesha - Saviour
Abba - Father
Sophia - The Wisdom of God
Ego emi - I AM
Yet, I sat in silence... asking myself what does God mean to me? All the names for God means so much. But if David sees God as his shepherd, what do I see God as?
Then I wrote down, "The Lord is my __breath__."
Genesis 2:7 "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."
The breath of life is the essence of our being. It is the likeness of God that He breathed into us. It is what makes us alive, what sustains our lives. Yet, with this breath, He gives us purpose.
Genesis 2: 4 This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created.
When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens- 5 and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, 6 but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground-
The Lord watered the land He created, and He created man to work to ground and take care of His creation. This breath is not just to give us life, it defines who we are and our purpose - it gives meaning to our lives.
The Lord is my __breath__.
breath of God
by shane barnard
a life you cannot define
a purpose thats benign
they need to see and believe
be led to the rugged tree
the one on which he cried not for his pain but for our debt
the very same tree that He conquered death
it was an unfair deal on the part of Christ
He got my sin, i got eternal life
make me the breath of God
and i'll show them the One that means the most to me
they'll see the face of love
be touched by the very one who died upon the tree
small talk is a better choice
a way to avoid Your voice
i need to feel the dust on my knees
and lead them to the tree
will you follow Me, lead them to the tree
can't you just believe, will you take a knee for eternity
I just sit there for minutes, thinking. Names of God started flashing through my head. In the seminary chapel this year, we are looking at the different names of God...
YHWH
Jehovah
Good Shephard
El Shaddai - God Almighty
Gaol - Redeemer
Shaphat - Judge
Logos - Word
Adonai - Master
Jehovah-Jirah - The Lord will Provide
Elohim - God
Jehovah-Shalom - The Lord of Peace
El lyon - Lord Most High
Yesha - Saviour
Abba - Father
Sophia - The Wisdom of God
Ego emi - I AM
Yet, I sat in silence... asking myself what does God mean to me? All the names for God means so much. But if David sees God as his shepherd, what do I see God as?
Then I wrote down, "The Lord is my __breath__."
Genesis 2:7 "the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."
The breath of life is the essence of our being. It is the likeness of God that He breathed into us. It is what makes us alive, what sustains our lives. Yet, with this breath, He gives us purpose.
Genesis 2: 4 This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created.
When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens- 5 and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, 6 but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground-
The Lord watered the land He created, and He created man to work to ground and take care of His creation. This breath is not just to give us life, it defines who we are and our purpose - it gives meaning to our lives.
The Lord is my __breath__.
breath of God
by shane barnard
a life you cannot define
a purpose thats benign
they need to see and believe
be led to the rugged tree
the one on which he cried not for his pain but for our debt
the very same tree that He conquered death
it was an unfair deal on the part of Christ
He got my sin, i got eternal life
make me the breath of God
and i'll show them the One that means the most to me
they'll see the face of love
be touched by the very one who died upon the tree
small talk is a better choice
a way to avoid Your voice
i need to feel the dust on my knees
and lead them to the tree
will you follow Me, lead them to the tree
can't you just believe, will you take a knee for eternity
Thursday, January 19
Green Light to the Mekong
I spoke with Dave Roberts today, the in-house missionary at Tyndale, and he had great news for me. Sharon from OMF told him that even with only two students the Mekong mission trip in May is still a go. :) Now I am really excited. Please pray for me in my preparations. More details to follow.
Mekong with OMF Canada
Time to update my passport.
Mekong with OMF Canada
Time to update my passport.
Wednesday, January 18
I Belong...
What is your only comfort in life and death?
That I am not my own,
but belong --
body and soul,
both in life and in death --
to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.
~Heidelberg Catechism Q & A1
What is the greatest reward about the Great Romance? It is a sense of belonging.
While working with youth over the past few years, one thing in common that drives teens to do what they do is trying to fit in. Why do people plaster brand names all over themselves? So that they can fit into the crowd they associate themselves with.
NIV Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
This point has been beaten to death by other pastors, so I would not spend too much time on it. However, this phenomenon occurs in the church too. There are people who serve for the wrong reason. They serve so that they fit into the church crowd. The most common offence is serving on the Worship team. Teens find it "cool" to serve on the worship team. Most church's worship teams are a special "clique". They practice together, hangout together, and are under the spotlight during service. Now that's "cool". So cool that it will give you a sense of belonging. But do we serve God because it is cool to do so. Well, of course it's cool to serve the Lord. But I don't see people lining up to get into the General Management team, or the Parking Attendant team in the middle of Winter?!? The Uncle who directs traffic when is -20 outside is cool. Whoever cleans the dirty dishes in the church sink is cool. But they are not in the spotlight. We do we serve our Father in Heaven? Because we want to be noticed by others? NO!
NIV Matthew 6:5 "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."
Then where do we seek the assurance of belonging? That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.
NRSV Isaiah 43:1
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O [Joel],
he who formed you, O [Joel]:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
Isaiah 43:1, that is like God give you a hug. He pursues you, he romances you, and he comes and hug you.
The Return of the Prodigal Son
~Rembrandt
That I am not my own,
but belong --
body and soul,
both in life and in death --
to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.
~Heidelberg Catechism Q & A1
What is the greatest reward about the Great Romance? It is a sense of belonging.
While working with youth over the past few years, one thing in common that drives teens to do what they do is trying to fit in. Why do people plaster brand names all over themselves? So that they can fit into the crowd they associate themselves with.
NIV Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
This point has been beaten to death by other pastors, so I would not spend too much time on it. However, this phenomenon occurs in the church too. There are people who serve for the wrong reason. They serve so that they fit into the church crowd. The most common offence is serving on the Worship team. Teens find it "cool" to serve on the worship team. Most church's worship teams are a special "clique". They practice together, hangout together, and are under the spotlight during service. Now that's "cool". So cool that it will give you a sense of belonging. But do we serve God because it is cool to do so. Well, of course it's cool to serve the Lord. But I don't see people lining up to get into the General Management team, or the Parking Attendant team in the middle of Winter?!? The Uncle who directs traffic when is -20 outside is cool. Whoever cleans the dirty dishes in the church sink is cool. But they are not in the spotlight. We do we serve our Father in Heaven? Because we want to be noticed by others? NO!
NIV Matthew 6:5 "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."
Then where do we seek the assurance of belonging? That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ.
NRSV Isaiah 43:1
But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O [Joel],
he who formed you, O [Joel]:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine."
Isaiah 43:1, that is like God give you a hug. He pursues you, he romances you, and he comes and hug you.
The Return of the Prodigal Son
~Rembrandt
Tuesday, January 17
The Great Romance
Yesterday in Spiritual Formation, we did a Spiritual Type test. I turn out to be K-/H, Kataphatic (compared to Apophatic) to sense God, Heart (compared to Mind) to know God. It is interest to learn over the past few months that even though I am quiet cognitive, I rely on my feelings, on my heart. MBTI: ENFP. That is why boundaries are so important to me because I tend to wear my heart on my sleeves.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."
~Prov 4:23(NLT)
When I am lonely, I usually pick up a novel to read. What to I read, just about anything. Recently I've been reading books by Ted Dekker. However, once in a while, I would pick up something sappy. Hence the Nicholas Sparks collection in my room. (shhh....) Why? Because that is the way we are created. Especially when we are lonely, deep inside, we longed to be loved. Since we are made in the image of God, we are hardwired to love and to be loved. And that is the amazing aspect about God. He loves us. But yet, God loves us so much that He gave us a free will to choose to accept His love or not.
One aspect we explored yesterday. The Great Pursue. In order to show His affection for us, He pursues us in love. What is the first thing we humans do when we fall in love? We don't just sit here and hope that person will come to us. We pursue. And in God's Great Persue, is His Great Romance. First, in His pursue, He tries to get our attention. A little blessing here, a little miracle there. We even went to the extent to get our attention by sacrificing His Beloved Son for us. But then, he wait. Patience. He let us choose for ourselves. He initiates the act of saving grace, willing us the opportunity to choose His love, yet He patiently waits for our respond.
Gifted Response (We Will Worship You)
by Matt Redman
This is a gifted response
Father we cannot come to You by our own merit
We will come in the name of Your son
As He glorifies You
And in the power of Your spirit
2x
We have come to something so mysterious
Too deep for minds to comprehend
Through the open door
Where the angels sing
And the host of heaven are antheming...
And we'll sing the glory of Your name
Celebrate the glories of Your grace
We will worship You, We will worship You
And we'll make Your praise so glorious
Singing songs of everlasting praise
We will worship You, we will worship You
The Great Romance... pursue and patience...
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."
~Prov 4:23(NLT)
When I am lonely, I usually pick up a novel to read. What to I read, just about anything. Recently I've been reading books by Ted Dekker. However, once in a while, I would pick up something sappy. Hence the Nicholas Sparks collection in my room. (shhh....) Why? Because that is the way we are created. Especially when we are lonely, deep inside, we longed to be loved. Since we are made in the image of God, we are hardwired to love and to be loved. And that is the amazing aspect about God. He loves us. But yet, God loves us so much that He gave us a free will to choose to accept His love or not.
One aspect we explored yesterday. The Great Pursue. In order to show His affection for us, He pursues us in love. What is the first thing we humans do when we fall in love? We don't just sit here and hope that person will come to us. We pursue. And in God's Great Persue, is His Great Romance. First, in His pursue, He tries to get our attention. A little blessing here, a little miracle there. We even went to the extent to get our attention by sacrificing His Beloved Son for us. But then, he wait. Patience. He let us choose for ourselves. He initiates the act of saving grace, willing us the opportunity to choose His love, yet He patiently waits for our respond.
Gifted Response (We Will Worship You)
by Matt Redman
This is a gifted response
Father we cannot come to You by our own merit
We will come in the name of Your son
As He glorifies You
And in the power of Your spirit
2x
We have come to something so mysterious
Too deep for minds to comprehend
Through the open door
Where the angels sing
And the host of heaven are antheming...
And we'll sing the glory of Your name
Celebrate the glories of Your grace
We will worship You, We will worship You
And we'll make Your praise so glorious
Singing songs of everlasting praise
We will worship You, we will worship You
The Great Romance... pursue and patience...
Sunday, January 15
Slowdown
I remember when learning to play a new sport, all my senses are overwhelmed and the action is a blur all around me. The toughest part about learning a new sport is not the rules, the strategy or the skills, but it is learning how to slow the game down. The action is till occurring at a blazing speed, but in my mind the action slows down and it seems I have more time to make decisions and react.
It is like when I play soccer, carrying the ball at full speed down the left wing toward the baseline, in my mind the game is slow down enough so that I am aware of the defender approaching, how teammates are making runs to get themselves in space, notice which way the defender is leaning so that I can make the decision of deking around him, crossing the ball with my left foot, or stopping in my run turn around and crossing with my right foot. When the game slows down like that, decisions and reactions made in that time increases the chances of winning the game.
In a world where instant gratification is king, there are very little opportunities to slow down life. MSN/emails/cell phones provide instant communication. Internet provide instant information. Cars and transportation allows us to travel from one point to another quickly. Computers allow us to multi-task. Can we live without these wonderful technology? Most may say no. But I beg you can. That why I still enjoy writing and sending letters, it has such a way to develope patience and quietness. Life seems to by zooming by me, by the time I graduate from Tyndale I will be 30. If I do not learn to slow the game of life down, how can I be effective for God?
Jesus had a short 3 years ministry, imagine how fast life fly by for him. But Jesus were able to slow down life by spending time with God every morning and every evening.
RSV Matthew 14:22 Then he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was many furlongs distant from the land, beaten by the waves; for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea.
NKJ Mark 1:32 At evening, when the sun had set, they brought to Him all who were sick and those who were demon-possessed. 33 And the whole city was gathered together at the door. 34 Then He healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and He did not allow the demons to speak, because they knew Him. 35 Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.
It is like when I play soccer, carrying the ball at full speed down the left wing toward the baseline, in my mind the game is slow down enough so that I am aware of the defender approaching, how teammates are making runs to get themselves in space, notice which way the defender is leaning so that I can make the decision of deking around him, crossing the ball with my left foot, or stopping in my run turn around and crossing with my right foot. When the game slows down like that, decisions and reactions made in that time increases the chances of winning the game.
In a world where instant gratification is king, there are very little opportunities to slow down life. MSN/emails/cell phones provide instant communication. Internet provide instant information. Cars and transportation allows us to travel from one point to another quickly. Computers allow us to multi-task. Can we live without these wonderful technology? Most may say no. But I beg you can. That why I still enjoy writing and sending letters, it has such a way to develope patience and quietness. Life seems to by zooming by me, by the time I graduate from Tyndale I will be 30. If I do not learn to slow the game of life down, how can I be effective for God?
Jesus had a short 3 years ministry, imagine how fast life fly by for him. But Jesus were able to slow down life by spending time with God every morning and every evening.
RSV Matthew 14:22 Then he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. 23 And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24 but the boat by this time was many furlongs distant from the land, beaten by the waves; for the wind was against them. 25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea.
NKJ Mark 1:32 At evening, when the sun had set, they brought to Him all who were sick and those who were demon-possessed. 33 And the whole city was gathered together at the door. 34 Then He healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and He did not allow the demons to speak, because they knew Him. 35 Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.
Saturday, January 14
Coach Carter
Yesterday I learn of something that a coach did not want to hear - I just lost two girls on my volleyball team for the remainder of the season. Well, thank God it is not due to injuries. Two girls became ineligible to play the reminder of the season: One because she was no longer registered at Tyndale, and the second is because of poor academic standings. I dread this moment because as the coach it is my responsibility to break the news to the individual and to the rest of the team. I must approach this matter with grace and respect. I pray for God's wisdom. Also time to rent "Coach Carter".
Friday, January 13
Want to Pray
Isaiah 30:15-16a (NRSV)
For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you refused and said, "No! We will flee upon horses"
After preparing my schedule last night, I realized that my weeknights for the next 2 months are completely filled.
Monday
8:30 - 11:30a Elementary Greek II
1:00 - 4:00p Spiritual Formation
6:00 - 10:00p AV work - Lecture Recording - Phillipians
Tuesday
11:45 - 12:45p Chapel
12:45 - 4:00p AV work - Leacture Recording - Church History II
4:45 - 10:00p IT work (until department hires another staff for Tuesday night)
9:00 - 11:00p Coach - Women's Volleyball
Wednesday
8:30 - 11:30a Systematic Theology II
5:00 - 7:00p Tutor Kenneth in Chemistry and Math
*The only night that I can go home for dinner :(
Thursday
10:00 - 11:00a AV work - Chapel
12:00 - 1:00p IT work
2:30 - 5:00p Coach - Women's Volleyball
5:00 - 10:00p IT work
Friday
1:00 - 5:00p Church office
7:00 - 10:00p Fellowship
On the bright side is that when the volleyball season is over in March, I reclaim my Tuesday nights for time with family.
Because of this schedule, I have to remember not to "flee on horses". I need to develope an attitude to "want to pray". So every morning, I am adding on more task on my schedule:
6:45 - 7:15a God
For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you refused and said, "No! We will flee upon horses"
After preparing my schedule last night, I realized that my weeknights for the next 2 months are completely filled.
Monday
8:30 - 11:30a Elementary Greek II
1:00 - 4:00p Spiritual Formation
6:00 - 10:00p AV work - Lecture Recording - Phillipians
Tuesday
11:45 - 12:45p Chapel
12:45 - 4:00p AV work - Leacture Recording - Church History II
4:45 - 10:00p IT work (until department hires another staff for Tuesday night)
9:00 - 11:00p Coach - Women's Volleyball
Wednesday
8:30 - 11:30a Systematic Theology II
5:00 - 7:00p Tutor Kenneth in Chemistry and Math
*The only night that I can go home for dinner :(
Thursday
10:00 - 11:00a AV work - Chapel
12:00 - 1:00p IT work
2:30 - 5:00p Coach - Women's Volleyball
5:00 - 10:00p IT work
Friday
1:00 - 5:00p Church office
7:00 - 10:00p Fellowship
On the bright side is that when the volleyball season is over in March, I reclaim my Tuesday nights for time with family.
Because of this schedule, I have to remember not to "flee on horses". I need to develope an attitude to "want to pray". So every morning, I am adding on more task on my schedule:
6:45 - 7:15a God
Prayer Is the Soul's Sincere Desire
by James Montgomery
Prayer is the soul's sincere desire,
Unuttered or expressed;
The motion of a hidden fire,
That trembles in the breast.
Prayer is the burden of a sigh;
The falling of a tear;
The upward glancing of an eye,
When none but God is near.
Prayer is the simplest form of speech
That infant lips can try;
Prayer, the sublimest strains that reach
The Majesty on high.
Prayer is the Christian's vital breath;
The Christian's native air;
The watch-word at the gate of death;
He enters heav'n with prayer.
Thursday, January 12
Still
"Leisure is not the inevitable result of spare time, a holiday, a weekend or a vacation. It is, in the first place, an attitude of mind, a condition of the soul... Leisure implies... an attitude of nonactivity, of inward calm, of silence, it means not being "busy", but letting things happen. Leisure is a form of silence, of that silence which is the prerequisite of the apprehension of reality: only the silent hear and those who do not remain silent do not hear. Silence, as it is used in this context, does not mean "dumbness" or "noiselessness"; it means more nearly that the soul's power to "answer" to the reality of the world is left undisturbed. For leisure is a receptive attitude of mind, a contemplative attitude, and it is not only the occasion but also the capacity for steeping oneself in the whole of creation...
Leisure is not the attitude of mind of those who actively intervene, but of those who are open to everything; not of those who grab and grab hold, but of those who leave the reins loose and who are free and easy themselves - almost like someone falling asleep, for one can only fall asleep by "letting oneself go." ... When we really let our minds rest contemplatively on a rose in bud, on a child at play, on a divine mystery, we are rested and quickened as though by a dreamless sleep... It is in these times visited by an awareness of what holds the world together."
(Piper, The Basis of Culture)
The misconception of leisure we have is that we will be still when we have a lack of activity. In this fast pace world one is made to feel unproductive in times of inactivity. In fact, that what I feel if I don't pack my schedule with tasks. Whatever happened to "stop and smell the roses"? Especially in Toronto, in the mist of a January thaw with the temperatures in the teens. Enjoy the weather. I realized that I had not set time a set for leisure and an attitude of stillness for a long time until last Sunday at Niagara. An afternoon to enjoy the awesome powers of the Falls, the running around in snow, and to slip n slide on the ice covered sidewalks.
An attitude of stillness. A time to seek God's word, to seek His presence. Even on busy days fill with ministry, school, family and work, we need to make space for God. For the past week, even if I have 8:30a morning classes, I will set 30min aside in stillness in reading, reflecting, writing and praying. Let see what God wants to say to me.
Matt 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Jesus did say that His yoke is easy. So when ever we feel that His yoke is stressing us out, then we are not wearing His yoke properly.
Leisure is not the attitude of mind of those who actively intervene, but of those who are open to everything; not of those who grab and grab hold, but of those who leave the reins loose and who are free and easy themselves - almost like someone falling asleep, for one can only fall asleep by "letting oneself go." ... When we really let our minds rest contemplatively on a rose in bud, on a child at play, on a divine mystery, we are rested and quickened as though by a dreamless sleep... It is in these times visited by an awareness of what holds the world together."
(Piper, The Basis of Culture)
The misconception of leisure we have is that we will be still when we have a lack of activity. In this fast pace world one is made to feel unproductive in times of inactivity. In fact, that what I feel if I don't pack my schedule with tasks. Whatever happened to "stop and smell the roses"? Especially in Toronto, in the mist of a January thaw with the temperatures in the teens. Enjoy the weather. I realized that I had not set time a set for leisure and an attitude of stillness for a long time until last Sunday at Niagara. An afternoon to enjoy the awesome powers of the Falls, the running around in snow, and to slip n slide on the ice covered sidewalks.
An attitude of stillness. A time to seek God's word, to seek His presence. Even on busy days fill with ministry, school, family and work, we need to make space for God. For the past week, even if I have 8:30a morning classes, I will set 30min aside in stillness in reading, reflecting, writing and praying. Let see what God wants to say to me.
Matt 11:28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Jesus did say that His yoke is easy. So when ever we feel that His yoke is stressing us out, then we are not wearing His yoke properly.
Looking Ahead, 2006
Scheduling events on my palm pilot, I had the chance to think about the upcoming events for this year. And boy, I am excited.
Besides the fun stuff at Logos and at Tyndale, many upcoming events for this year. Here is a brief description of what is in store this coming year:
In March, there is TC2006 . A conference that it dear to my heart where it provides a great opportunity to serve the teen in the Greater Toronto area. My faith was shaped and matured through attending and serving at TC when I was in highshool.
Later in March, there is Missionfest Toronto. I'm excited for guest speaker John C. Maxwell and William Tsui (who sold me my very first car 10 years ago :P ).
Then in May, if God willing, 3 weeks mission trip to the Mekong with OMF Canada. Boy, I'm excited about this. Serving in prayer ministry for the churches in Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand. And afterward in June, visit grandparent in Hong Kong for a month on my very own mission trip.
And, to top it all off, December 2006. Urbana 2006.
A little early to think Urbana 2006? NO!!! St. Louis, MO for a week, with tens of thousand of God fearing university students wanting to change the world for God. Now that's exciting.
Besides the fun stuff at Logos and at Tyndale, many upcoming events for this year. Here is a brief description of what is in store this coming year:
In March, there is TC2006 . A conference that it dear to my heart where it provides a great opportunity to serve the teen in the Greater Toronto area. My faith was shaped and matured through attending and serving at TC when I was in highshool.
Later in March, there is Missionfest Toronto. I'm excited for guest speaker John C. Maxwell and William Tsui (who sold me my very first car 10 years ago :P ).
Then in May, if God willing, 3 weeks mission trip to the Mekong with OMF Canada. Boy, I'm excited about this. Serving in prayer ministry for the churches in Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand. And afterward in June, visit grandparent in Hong Kong for a month on my very own mission trip.
And, to top it all off, December 2006. Urbana 2006.
A little early to think Urbana 2006? NO!!! St. Louis, MO for a week, with tens of thousand of God fearing university students wanting to change the world for God. Now that's exciting.
Wednesday, January 11
Home Sickness
Hate The World Today
by Starfield
"As much as it thrills me
I wanna get off this ride
For gravity holds me
Yet grace calls me to Your side
As much as I trust You
Though I know that hope will come with time
Injustice prevails
And truth lags behind
Looking for beauty
Searching for sense in all the pain
A note of redemption
A break in the clouds to stop the rain
Can You hear me calling?
Have You been listening to my cry?
Cause I can't carry on
If I don't find out why
I hate the world today
But I love this life you have given
I hate the world today
But I love you and I need you here
Though stuck in this moment
Everything good still comes from you
As much as I don't know
I'm trusting that you will carry me through
Though thousands are falling
Though comfort and peace are beyond reach
I'll offer my heart
I'll try to believe
It's pulling me to peices
In a fight for my soul
These two worlds are waging war
The falling of humanity
And the truth that although
I can't see with my eyes
I'm still trying to believe"
Chatting with Jenny on the way to and from Niagara made me think. It was really encouraging to have my time of reflection while I drove and have someone beside me to bounce ideas with. Thank you, Lord, for blessing us with such wonderful conversation and fellowship. At one point, we were taking about "home sickness". Jenny shared my view in as long as you are content with what God has given you at a given moment you will not be longing for something else (ie. homesick). Maybe because of this point of view that I too rarely call him when I am away.
Yet, upon further reflection, I realized that I am lying. I am homesick to the point that my soul groans and yearns to be home. No, I'm not talking about home as in Scarborough or Ottawa or anywhere else on Earth. Home as in Heavenly Home. It is because of the "Already and Not Yet", how the heaven has "already" breaking into our lives through the incaration of Jesus Christ but "not yet" fully manifested until His second coming, that we are given a taste of what yet to come. "Joey，食飯啦! " And with a taste, my soul awakens, not satified and longing groaning yearning for more. Hence I AM homesick.
I want to go home. I hate being in the world today. Yet, before I can come home running, God has a purpose for me. And He gave me life so that I can be part of His great plan. Waging wars - hate this world, love this purpose. The essence of my being groans from this struggle, but I know God has given me a promise.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
~ Jeremiah 29:11-13
Homesick:? Yes... but yet I need to pursue and be patient. To pursue in God's purpose for me. To be patient for I am a work in progress. And to be patient for the day God has plan for my homecoming.
by Starfield
"As much as it thrills me
I wanna get off this ride
For gravity holds me
Yet grace calls me to Your side
As much as I trust You
Though I know that hope will come with time
Injustice prevails
And truth lags behind
Looking for beauty
Searching for sense in all the pain
A note of redemption
A break in the clouds to stop the rain
Can You hear me calling?
Have You been listening to my cry?
Cause I can't carry on
If I don't find out why
I hate the world today
But I love this life you have given
I hate the world today
But I love you and I need you here
Though stuck in this moment
Everything good still comes from you
As much as I don't know
I'm trusting that you will carry me through
Though thousands are falling
Though comfort and peace are beyond reach
I'll offer my heart
I'll try to believe
It's pulling me to peices
In a fight for my soul
These two worlds are waging war
The falling of humanity
And the truth that although
I can't see with my eyes
I'm still trying to believe"
Chatting with Jenny on the way to and from Niagara made me think. It was really encouraging to have my time of reflection while I drove and have someone beside me to bounce ideas with. Thank you, Lord, for blessing us with such wonderful conversation and fellowship. At one point, we were taking about "home sickness". Jenny shared my view in as long as you are content with what God has given you at a given moment you will not be longing for something else (ie. homesick). Maybe because of this point of view that I too rarely call him when I am away.
Yet, upon further reflection, I realized that I am lying. I am homesick to the point that my soul groans and yearns to be home. No, I'm not talking about home as in Scarborough or Ottawa or anywhere else on Earth. Home as in Heavenly Home. It is because of the "Already and Not Yet", how the heaven has "already" breaking into our lives through the incaration of Jesus Christ but "not yet" fully manifested until His second coming, that we are given a taste of what yet to come. "Joey，食飯啦! " And with a taste, my soul awakens, not satified and longing groaning yearning for more. Hence I AM homesick.
I want to go home. I hate being in the world today. Yet, before I can come home running, God has a purpose for me. And He gave me life so that I can be part of His great plan. Waging wars - hate this world, love this purpose. The essence of my being groans from this struggle, but I know God has given me a promise.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
~ Jeremiah 29:11-13
Homesick:? Yes... but yet I need to pursue and be patient. To pursue in God's purpose for me. To be patient for I am a work in progress. And to be patient for the day God has plan for my homecoming.
Tuesday, January 10
Covenant
COVENANT
God
knocks at my door
seeking a home for his son.
Rent is cheap, I say.
I don't want to rent. I want to buy, says God.
I'm not so sure I want to sell,
but you might come in to look around.
I think I will, says God.
I might let you have a room or two.
I like it, says God. I'll take the two.
You might decide to give me more some day.
I can wait, says God.
I'd like to give you more,
but it's a bit difficult. I need some space for me.
I know, says God, but I'll wait. I like what I see.
Hm, maybe I can let you have another room.
I really don't need that much.
Thanks, says God. I'll take it. I like what I see.
I'd like to give you the whole house
but I'm not sure...
Think on it says God. I wouldn't put you out.
Your house would be mine and my son would live in it.
You'd have more space than you'd ever had before.
I don't understand at all.
I know, says God, but I can't tell you about that.
You'll have to discover it for yourself.
That can only happen if you let me have the whole house.
A bit risky, I say.
Yes, says God. But try me.
I'm not sure --
I'll let you know.
I can wait, says God. I like what I see.
~ Margaret Halaska
Pursue and Patience - Gen 29.20
"So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her."
~Gen 29:20
With my nose buried in New Testament all week last week, I had an urge to read the Old Testament to maintain sanity. :P I was reading Gensis when the story of Jacob jumped out at me. Though I was familiar with his story, recent event seems to give new life to the passage.
Growing up, I used to always compared myself to Jacob - as a prankster and a determined individual. Here in Genesis 29, Jacob experienced life transformation. Once a sly individual, who tricked Esau and Isaac for the birth right now receives a taste of his own medicine. Tricked by Laban, he worked a total of 7 + 7 years - all because he loved Rachel. But to Jacob, "they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her."
Oh, for me, this past school term was filled with pain and heartaches. And I know it is just the beginning. Yet, I looked forward to do it all over again this term, and for the next two years. Why? For I know these few years will seem like only a few days, as long as I continue to pursue God's love and purpose. However, pursuing in itself is not enough... through these few years it also requires patiences. Patience in God's plan, in God's timing.
So in the coming months if you see me heavy burdened with work and I am mumbling under my breath, don't think I've gone crazy. I am probably mumbling "pursue and patience". And do pray for me, for it is only through God that I can found the strength to pursue and be patient.
~Gen 29:20
With my nose buried in New Testament all week last week, I had an urge to read the Old Testament to maintain sanity. :P I was reading Gensis when the story of Jacob jumped out at me. Though I was familiar with his story, recent event seems to give new life to the passage.
Growing up, I used to always compared myself to Jacob - as a prankster and a determined individual. Here in Genesis 29, Jacob experienced life transformation. Once a sly individual, who tricked Esau and Isaac for the birth right now receives a taste of his own medicine. Tricked by Laban, he worked a total of 7 + 7 years - all because he loved Rachel. But to Jacob, "they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her."
Oh, for me, this past school term was filled with pain and heartaches. And I know it is just the beginning. Yet, I looked forward to do it all over again this term, and for the next two years. Why? For I know these few years will seem like only a few days, as long as I continue to pursue God's love and purpose. However, pursuing in itself is not enough... through these few years it also requires patiences. Patience in God's plan, in God's timing.
So in the coming months if you see me heavy burdened with work and I am mumbling under my breath, don't think I've gone crazy. I am probably mumbling "pursue and patience". And do pray for me, for it is only through God that I can found the strength to pursue and be patient.
Monday, January 9
阿然，食飯啦!
16 Then Jesus said to him, "Someone gave a great dinner and invited many. 17 At the time for the dinner he sent his slave to say to those who had been invited, 'Come; for everything is ready now.' 18 But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, 'I have bought a piece of land, and I must go out and see it; please accept my regrets.' 19 Another said, 'I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to try them out; please accept my regrets.' 20 Another said, 'I have just been married, and therefore I cannot come.' 21 So the slave returned and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and said to his slave, 'Go out at once into the streets and lanes of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.' 22 And the slave said, 'Sir, what you ordered has been done, and there is still room.' 23 Then the master said to the slave, 'Go out into the roads and lanes, and compel people to come in, so that my house may be filled. 24 For I tell you, none of those who were invited will taste my dinner.'"
~Luke 14:16-24, NRSV
I have fallen into the trap, the trap that Bill Hybel has warned us in his book "Too Busy Not to Pray". Seminary, ministry, family, work, personal time, and etc have made me too busy. Too busy to attend the banquet God has prepared for us. Joel, too busy for free food? Yes, it's true. The gravity of this situation dawned on me when Jesus said "none of those who were invited will taste my dinner". But that is the exact dinner I longed for as I study in seminary, as I serve in devotion...
Oh Lord, for three months, I had studied your word and seeked you with my heart, but I did not stop by to taste your dinner. Father, thank you for calling me back for dinner. 阿然，食飯啦! To taste his dinner in self reflection and prayer.
~Luke 14:16-24, NRSV
I have fallen into the trap, the trap that Bill Hybel has warned us in his book "Too Busy Not to Pray". Seminary, ministry, family, work, personal time, and etc have made me too busy. Too busy to attend the banquet God has prepared for us. Joel, too busy for free food? Yes, it's true. The gravity of this situation dawned on me when Jesus said "none of those who were invited will taste my dinner". But that is the exact dinner I longed for as I study in seminary, as I serve in devotion...
Oh Lord, for three months, I had studied your word and seeked you with my heart, but I did not stop by to taste your dinner. Father, thank you for calling me back for dinner. 阿然，食飯啦! To taste his dinner in self reflection and prayer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)