Less of Me

Yesterday, I wanted to type up all the journal entries I was behind on, but I ended up picking up the guitar and started playing... for 6 hours. Over the last 2 days I might have logged more than 12 hours on the guitar. It's just the thought of singing with that angels overwhelms me. Angels are in my room partying and worshipping God!!! WOW!

I looked on the guitar strings and I can see pieces of my skin. HAhah... ICK! That's gross!!! My left fingers looks like it ran over a grater, my right wrist feels like rubber, and right middle finger bleeding from banging into the strings as I strum. But my heart is filled with praise and awe.

Oh, I long for the day in heaven where we spend all the time praising our awesome God. In heaven, I hope I get to play the guitar instead of the harp. HAhah.

*****

"I've tried more of me
And I've come up dry
Trading You for things
Things that go away
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You

I have found the answer is
to love You and be loved by You alone
Alright! Alright! Alright!
You crucify me and the world to me
and I will only boast in You
Alright! Alright! Alright!

I'm so satisfied
at the thought of You
Growing up in me
Covering everything
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You
My happiness is found in less
of me and more of You

You are, You are (loved by me)
You are, You are (You're loved by me)
You are, You are (You're loved by me)
You are, You are, You are"
~The Answer

I had lunch with Rev. Lau today, I was encouraged by his positive feedbacks. He asked me how I am to prepare myself for the Lord's ministry, and how he can be an assistance in my growth. We touched on many personal issues, and I was opened to share all with him. The thought the was constantly on my mind was how to have less of me.

In the song, The Answer, it could not put it in any better way. "I've tried more of me, and I've come up dry. Trading You for things things that go away. My happiness is found in less of me and more of You" how foolish are we to seek the riches of this earth. To take the gifts our Heavenly Father has given us and spent it on earthly things. We should take these precious gifts, and offer it up to God in praises and sacrifice.

Sacrifice.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship."
~Romans 12:1

Who can truly that without a grimace on their face? Many times we say, "Yes Lord, I offer my life up as a living sacrifice, but... I hope You use that other guy sitting next to me instead." When you say you offer up yourself as a living sacrifice, is your heart in the mood of worship? Will God acknowledge your presence?

It was then, Rev. Lau asked me if I am ready to preach at the English Service on Sunday. Jan 30. A Motivate Working Spirit. Eph 6:5-9. Lord, please continue to speak to me and teach me. Thank You for this great opportunity to serve You. Give me wisdom, Lord.

Worshipping With Angels

Sorry to everyone that I'm been lazy to update my journal. I have heard non-stop "nagging" regarding the lack of updates. Thank you for keeping me accountable. Today I've set the afternoon aside to update all my entries. Enjoy.

Love,
Joel

**********

I had a wonderful lunch today with Judy (our housemate) and mom. Over lunch, Judy was sharing what a pastor recently shared with her.

A lady from the pastor's church fell into a coma for a week during Christmas time. When she awoke from her coma, the pastor visited her and asked her what did she experienced during her coma. In her sharing, the lady asked the pastor how come there were so little people attending the Christmas Service while she was in the coma. Confused by her question, the pastor replied that the regular attendance of 400 attended the service.

"No," she said, "There were 400 at the lunch afterwards, but only 200 at the service." The pastor was surprised to hear that the lady knew that 400 at the lunch while she was in the coma, so he asked her what she meant when she said there was only 200 at the service. She said she was there are the service, and only saw 200 in attendance worshipping God. But also there were many angels in attendance worshipping and praying to God.

WOW!!!

God knows your heart. Even if you are in attendance on Sunday, if you do not have a heart of worship, God will not even acknowledge your presence.

And when you worship and pray, angels are worshipping and praying along side you. Imagine that!

*********

Now I know, when we spun out on the 404 on our way back from Buffalo 2 weeks ago, angels were on the highway, stopping the cars behind us so they wouldn't hit us.

When we sing and dance during worship, we are singing and dancing with angels.

When we kneel down and pour out our hearts in prayer, angels are laying hands on us praying with us.

We doubts surfaces in our hearts, angels lift our hearts up so that we can see God.

What else do you want? More blessings? More protection? More guidance? More salvation? We have all of that already, just look around you, angels are standing by your side.

Through the Eyes of a Newcomer

Wow, what a long day, of just straight chatting. Today, I met up with Raymond for lunch, excited to find out how was his job interview in the morning. And through lunch, I shared with him my vision of the "Production" Team for church and his involvement on the team. We had such a good time bouncing ideas between each other in regards of the Production Team and also had the opportunity to show him around my office. We had such a good chat and before we know it, it was 6:00pm and Alice arrived for her appointment.

With Alice here, I realized that we have a representative from Worship, Caring and Outreach present. So I decided to bounce some ideas off both of them. One thing I felt is that because I've been behind the desk of the A/V table for so long, I felt so disconnected from the front line. Surely I cannot lead the team from the back.

So I toss out a question to Alice and Raymond, "As a newcomer to our church, what would you see?" And "what will attract you to stay with us for worship?"

-the people inside
-atmosphere (worship, spiritual)
-welcomed
-not too intimating

Back to the basics, what do newcomer look for? And how do we cater to them.

All in all, we chatted till 11:30 in the evening, wrapping up one for the most productive day I ever had.

Prayers to the Nhan Family

Just heard the news about the passing of the older sister of Tran, Van and Hoc. Lord, I pray for the Nhan family in these difficult times.

I pray that through this time of grieving, that Tran, Van and hoc may have to opportunity to get to see You.

Right People, Right Place

"The Fish Gate was rebuilt by the sons of Hassenaah. They laid its beams and put its doors and bolts and bars in place. Meremoth son of Uriah, the son of Hakkoz, repaired the next section. Next to him Meshullam son of Berekiah, the son of Meshezabel, made repairs, and next to him Zadok son of Baana also made repairs."
~Nehemiah 3:3-4

When the Jews were rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, Nehemiah choose the right people for the right task.

A Miracle: God's Way of Saying "Hey!"

Back from a wonderful weekend in Buffalo, time well spent with fellow brothers and sister: Raymond, Theresa and Alice. It was a great time of fellowship, testimony sharing, and just plain getting to know one another.

As I remembered from my backpacking trip last October, just when you think you have learned everything you can learn from an experience, God usually has something more in stored for you.

As we left Buffalo this morning, we reflected on what we gained from this retreat. We all learn more about ourselves and each other. One thing I realized is that over the last week of busyness, I did not spent adequate quiet time with God, and hence I felt distanced from Him. My journals were shallow and my heart was not in a meditative mood.

But what God had planned for us on our way home literally shock all that up. What happened, in my mind, was nothing short of a miracle. This just proves that God is constantly watching over us. We could of easily took the drive to and from Buffalo for granted, but before we set out on the road we made sure we committed out safety to the Lord.

And when we left Buffalo, the road conditions were almost ideal. Rain covered the roads, washed away most of the snow and ice that accumulated over the last two weeks. After the long 1 1 /2 hours drive, we were near the church, travelling north on the Hwy 404. We were all excited to be back at church soon, which is only about 5 minutes away. In a distance I noticed several police cars with the lights flashing, so while I was on the fast lane, I slowed down my car to the 100km/hr speed limit. Then all of a sudden, without warning, all 4 wheels slipped on the road. Immediately, I knew we were in trouble.

I am not sure about Theresa, Alice and Raymond, but time seem to slow down. I fought to keep my car in my lane, but soon I knew it was impossible. So as I looked into the rear view mirror to check the traffic behind me, my worst fears came true. Behind me, in all 4 lanes, there were cars, at least 2 - 3 rows deep. Beside me on my right, was a mini van that somehow have passed us as I fought to keep the car in my lane. When I knew it was impossible to keep the car in my lane, I focused on steering the car to the right so that we wouldn't hit the center median travelling at 100km/hr. We skidded across all four lanes of the highway, no longer needed to check my mirrors as the broad-side of my car was not facing on coming traffic.

Immediately, memories of Cindy Lam came into mind. So this was what she experienced before being called back to heaven. And I began praying of the occupants of my vehicle. I braced for the impact that never came as I tried to skid across the four lanes as quickly as possible to avoid the traffic behind me and hopefully slow down on the shoulder. As I near the shoulders, due to the compensation in steering, the tail of the car began to swing 180° toward the right side of the highway.

My next worry, the ditch pass the shoulder. But that worry was soon dissolved as we came under the John St. overpass. That means no ditch to worry about and the tail of my car continue to swing towards the concrete barrier under the bridge and brush against it. And we bounced off the bridge and all of a sudden I was in the right most lane, facing the right direction of the highway, with all the traffic still behind me. I attempted to give it gas move let the momentum carry the car forward again but by now because I was in the wrong gear we continue to spin and ended up facing all the on coming traffic, on the right most two lanes, car stalled. Amazingly, all the traffic behind me stopped.

I quickly restarted the car, drove to the shoulder, made sure everyone was okay and got out to check the damages. I was dumbfound when I walk to the back of my car and saw not even a scratch on my car. The only thing remained that reminded us of what happened was the smell of burning rubber from the tires.

Immediately, while we were still sitting on the shoulders, mom and Angie called my cell phone to warn me how slippery the roads are in Richmond Hill. I know they have been praying for us and God have prompted them to call at that time. On the remaining short drive to church, we saw two accidents on the side of the highway, car flipped up-side-down and torn in half.

I believe what happened was nothing short of a miracle. To skid across 4 lanes of a busy highway, bounce off a concrete barrier and then stalled facing the wrong direction of the highway, the only way to explain this was because of God's grace. His protection.

My deepest worries were for the occupants of my car: Theresa, Alice and Raymond. God could have called me back to his side today, but that was not His plan apparently. There was nothing I could have done to prevent to spun out. It was truly an wake up call from God. And by his grace, I am alive to give an account to this miracle.

Truly, I am living on borrowed time. Though shaken up, I know God is reminding me to make the most out of the time He has given me.

2005: A Year of Service

Happy New Year to all!!!

As I reflect on 2004 yesterday, I've been trying to pin point what I expect of 2005. OR should I rephrase to what God expects of me in 2005.

Through the last two weeks, I felt the lessons God was teaching me shifted from building up my faith to leadership. Though I know there are still a lot for room for personal growth, it is as though God is telling me to step up and get ready for Service.

If I had a choice, I would love to continue to hide under God's wings, learn from Him and drink from His cup. However, there is a mission field out there.

As I look around me in this New Year morning in Buffalo, surrounded by the English young career support group: Alice, Theresa, and Raymond. They are the pillars of the new English congregation. Each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Lord, are You calling me to lead this group? Of course, that was Your calling for me to pack up everything in Ottawa and come back to Toronto. Lord, part of me, I am scared. But Lord, You are the captain, I know I'm just the helmsmen. You chart the course, I just follow Your order and steer the ship. You are the source of wisdom; wisdom to put the right men in the right place.

As Alice had once confessed to me, she don't know how long I will be around. One day, God will call me to another post. But until then, York LBC is my mission, and it will continue to be my Service until my purpose is fulfilled.

Lord, in the year 2005, use me fully in York LBC. Teach me the keys of a humble leader. This is not my team, Lord, but it's Your's. Keep me close to You, so that I would know which way You want me to steer this ship.

For posts between Sept 2004 - Dec 2004, please go here:

http://joeya.easyjournal.com/

Peace Like a River

Last day in Vancouver. God is testing my patience, all of the week’s appointment got pushed back to today. Business-wise, zero quantitative results. Yet, there is a peace in my heart. A peace that is in describable. Before coming to Vancouver, I searched for results – my pride soared high. I told myself I would not return if I don’t get things off the ground through this trip. However, slowly but surely God showed me purpose:

-Seattle, Christine is so closed, SO CLOSED, to be saved.
-Jenny and Mark, such faithful servant of God.
-Eric, Emily and Dylan, rekindled friendships.
-Edmund and Edwin, God is calling them home.

“Then He said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.”
~Matt 9:37, 38

God showed me the greater calling to Vancouver. Now I realized God did not called me to Vancouver for worldly business, but rather for the work of the heavens.


Dear Lord,

Once again I thought I could do things on my own. Sorry Lord, please forgive me. Lord, give me a humble heart; give me the faith to depend solely on You. Praise the Lord for being the Rock. You are unchanging, so we can always depend on You.

Thank You, Lord, for keeping me grounded; for keeping my heart from running wild in this world. Thank You for watching over me and guiding me with you gentle voice. Lord, You said, “Ask and I’ll give the nation to you.” So Lord once again, take my heart, I ask You to use me as one of Your workers in the harvest field.

Amen.

Passion...

"Passion is the degree of difficulty you are willing to endure to achieve the goal."
- www.722.org

Joel, can you live by your own teachings? How much do you love Vancouver? If you are telling everyone how much you love to be in Vancouver, why don't you give yourself a reason to come back to Vancouver? So Joel, how much do you want Vancouver? If you want to be in Vancouver so much, if you want to come back to Vancouver, why are you enjoying the city so much now? Time to get to work.

I'm not here to enjoy my stay, if God willing, I'm here to prepare for the future. Build Vancouver. Come when the business is up and running. Then... enjoy Vancouver.

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."
-Matt 16:25

Forgiver, Lord and Friend

Vancouver to Seattle...

Praise God for His creation!!! What a beautiful drive throught the mountains. The mountains, the clouds, and the ocean... I am tempted to move to the west coast, but I know that's not God's will, at least for the next year while I still have church planning obligations. If God's willing, maybe one day, I will be in the west coast.

Today, I am reminded that our Father is also my best friend. In Seattle, I had the opportunity to catch up with Jason, Tom, and Christine. Christine shared her experience so far in Seattle, and she mentioned that how much she longed for good friends in Seattle. Jason and I realized immediately that how much she needs Jesus as a friend. Please pray for her.

I realized if my Vancouver trip did not pan out business-wise. The opportunity to share with Christine was more than worth it.

Vancouver

Yesterday, I arrived in Vancouver. On my flight, I wondered why God has brought me here. But I guess by faith, I'll find out soon enough. I had some really good quiet times on my flight reading, praying, and seeking God. He taught me to keep my emotions in check, and be patients.

I felt relieved because my mind is no longer crowded with thoughts, as I was for the past month. I had a really good chat with Rev. Lau over breakfast, and I sense from him the vote of confidence for me leading the English ministry. Also God kept me in check with an aweful stomach flu. During my BPM training, I just let God take over. Not to act on my ego and pride, but to humbly share my experience with the team in Vancouver.

Thank You, Lord. I give the next few days in Vancouver into Your hands. Your will be done.

Focus...

JOEL!!! Can you focus? Focus on the glory of God. God has called on me so many times this week, how could I have been so selfish and set my sights on my goals and not His? Lord, please give me the strength to run the good race. Lord, please protect me. Satan has been attacking me from all sides, from temptations to flooding my life with worldly things. Thanks you, Lord, for Ric. For how you sent him to my office to challenge my faith yesterday. "How is your spiritual walk, Joel?", asked Ric. Tough. I could not focus during the Englist Ministry meeting. How am I suppose to lead these God-seeking youth people when I'm not even exhibiting any leadership abilities whatsoever? How can Rev. Lau and Fenny suppose to trust me with the group? Or is this all part of Satan's attacks? Eroding my confidence, cause my to doubt the strength God has provided. Lord, please give me the confidence to carry out your will, to take Your banner and lift it high.

Tomorrow will be my last service at Milliken. I will be in Vancouver next week, and the week after... the new church. Logos Baptist Church (York Region Mission). I hate saying goodbyes to friends - to the brother and sisters that have touched my life over the past 7 years. Thank You, Lord, for the memories and for the friendships. Most of all, thank You, Lord, for Your calling for me.

Lord, thank You for teaching me to have discipline in order to focus on You. Lord, I want to give my life to You. With You, all the trouble in the world will fade away. Give me a heart of a child, to worship You and seek You with shame. To love You with a pure heart.

Thank You, Lord, for the success You have given me this past week, as You prepare me for work in Vancouver, Lord, use me as a carrier of Your light to this dark world, and to share You love to those You have created.

Things Not to Take for Granted

There are so many thoughts running through my mind, Lord please still my heart. Please help me to focus on You, and not on the things of this world.

I realized that just one impure thought, just a speck of sin, can repeal God away from the heart. Lord, please forgive me. Draw me near to You again. Lord, give me a heart that shies away from sins.

Deep breaths. Lord, thank You for giving me life, even though I deserved to die many times over in sin. It is a blessing that every morning I still have breath. Thank You for giving me hands, that I can write this journal. Thanks You for giving me legs, so I can still walk and run. Thank You for giving me ears to hear, so that I can hear the angel voices. Thank You for giving me eyes to see, so that I can witness Your creation. Thank You for parents, for their constant love and care. Lord, please never let me take these things for granted.

Lord please calm my heart…

Sleepless with Thoughts from God

“I cry out night and day for more
To hold the majesty of You
My God You stand alone
All I worship at Your throne
I will long to seek Your power and glory
Jesus, Lord of all”
-You Stand Alone

I cannot sleep. Woke up at four in the morning with thoughts racing through my head, I could not fall back to sleep. I picked up a book and started reading, hoping that God will speak to me in my devotions.. And oh, He did.

Since two nights ago, God has been planting thoughts in my mind, and by yesterday, these thoughts have consumed me. I immediately called up a good brother, Henry, to pray for me. He gave me words of encouragement and when finally I laid myself down by God’s feet and prayed, I was comforted.

The first thought God challenged with was “how should I act in the church?” I knew it was suppose to be a big responsibility leading the English congregation at he new church, but how should I represent the church in this role? A M3 leader, Servant Leadership Ministry (requires membership, mature growing Christian, self confident to exercise spiritual gift). Am I showing that leadership? I realized even through all the meetings I have attended, I have yet to offered my efforts in the church planting project, and there’s only one month remaining until we began the new church. Many high school teens and university students will be looking up to me. And as the Lord taught me at Teens’ Conference this year, I love every one of them. Lord, show me how to represent the church in front of them.

The second thought was the idea of going to Vancouver at the end of the month. I knew my way to China must pass through Vancouver, and I was planning to go later in the year. But that all changed when my sister booked a flight to go later this month and she asked me to go along. At first I declined, not knowing how much this thought will bother me yesterday. Throughout the day, God continued to plant seeds in my mind and entertained the thought of going to Vancouver: 1) The CEO tour will be in Vancouver that week. 2) My schedule is completely empty that week, no church planting meetings. 3) Linh told me to make a “bold” move.

One of my strengths, and weaknesses, is that I can make a spontaneous decision. However, I do not want to make such a decision driven by my own desires, but by the will of God. It will be a leap of faith to go, because financially I cannot afford another trip at the moment. But I know if it is God’s will, He will provide. I will have one more chat with my sister today, and then I’ll make a solid decision.

The last but not least, a though came to mind while I was reading a moment ago. As I am schedule to train at BPM soon, God challenged me to be bold.

“… but the righteous are as bold as lion.”
-Ps 28:1b

Train out of the Bible. Until now I have only trained out of the teachings of the Bible, but not straight out of the Bible. I won’t know how the office will react, but Gal. 6:9, right?

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Gal 6:9

The Heart of Worship

Today I began my training for the 8 days, 100km backpacking trip through Killarney Provincial Park with Don next month. It was only a 5 km jog in the morning, 10 lbs on my back, and hit the gym for some weights in the afternoon. I’m still a long way from strapping on a 50 lbs pack and hike for 12 hours a day. Don, I will need to strengthen my knees and back in order to keep up you. Maybe I should have listened and begin training a month ago. :-)

During the jog, I had the chance to reflect on the camping trip this past weekend with my Care Group. Funny unlike my previous camps, it wasn’t God’s creation that inspired me the most, but it was the fellowship we had, sitting around the campfire chatting till the middle of the night. Also for the decision to pack up early Sunday to make our way back to church, I’ll have to thank Jenny. Thank her for her heart of worship she showed me in Vegas. It was because we made the effort to get back to church, I had the opportunity to let God speak to me during service. God reminded me of the Parable of Prodigal Son. Just like when I came back to the Load last year, previous thinking take I could have handled this world on my own; only to come back to Him with a failed engineering career and a failed 7 years relationship. The Lord did not sit on His throne waiting for my return and my explanation, but rather He rand to me, hugged me and kissed me, before I even said a single word.

So I guess that is the heart of worship, making the effort to be with God. In our busy lives it is so easy to neglect our personal time with God. As Bill Hybel said in his book, Too Busy Not to Pray. When life overwhelms us, we have to slow down to be with God. That’s why I treasure the time I spend with God as I write in this journal. Pray to God that no on can take this time with God away from me.

Last but not least, today in the office, Ed and I had a good discussion regarding God’s purpose for us in the office. Ed told me that "We do need to encourage each other in the faith and be more active in the ministry of witnessing to our WFG friends and colleagues."

My Place in WFG

As I drove back from Ottawa today, I had the opportunity to use the solitude to think. Ever since that close call on the highway last winter, a truck causing me to spin 360° on the highway, I dread driving long distances. Especially driving alone. However I still treasure the thoughts, the conversations with God, and singing praises at the top of my lungs while I drive long distance alone.

Today, I tried to find some answers to the issue that been bothering me for the longest time. How to serve God in World Financial Group? I have had many similar conversations with Tim, Dave and Fanny regarding this.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
-Matt 6:24

To be honest, that kept me from putting all my effort in WFG in the first place. But now that God has given me the MD title, there must be a purpose for me. How do I teach people concepts to become financially independent while not being a slave to money? Tim, Fanny and I concluded that if we can teach people not to worry able money, then they won't be slaved to it. Is it that simple though? Because in the process of "obtaining" wealth, one is driven by money, and hence are being enslaved by it.

How I wish to have a Christian leader at work that I can relate to...

I remember one thing that Pat Kwan told me after the Gala really hit me. She said "It is good to finally see a good Christian promoted to MD in the office." It was as if God trying to tell me something. And the fact that I am now sharing a office room with Ed Yeung, we now have a Christian stronghold in the Markham office.

God had given me plenty of opportunities in the past to share my faith in the office. To Peter, Bonnie and Hassan. Plus the many times I have done BPM training out of the Bible or sermon notes. Maybe this is an area of service God is calling me into. Tentmaking.

"Joel, would you mind making another career change in the future?" Asked Rev. Michael Lau. Over lunch discussing plans for the Church Planting Project.

I had the burden for China ever since the Tentmaking workshop at Missionfest... and God is slowly equiping me with Mardarin over last month, and I am not afraid to do a Cantonese BPM. Plus Judy told me last night that she plans to announce operations in Hong Kong in Oct, and now that I'm MD, she invited me to join her.

Is it Your will, Lord?

"You said, Ask and I'll give the nation to you.
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the island will see
Your light as it rises on us."
-You Said

Give me China, Lord. Not for wealth or fame, but for Your glory!

Is God really using WFG as a vehicle for me to tentmake in China? If so, maybe God is calling me to be THAT Christian leader I've been looking for.

From Chruch Planting to Tentmaking in China... God has opened many doors for me, and many challenges too. Lord, give me the faith and the strength to step through these open doors. And Lord, help me resist the temptations to serve money, but to serve only You, the King of kings, Lord of lords.

Send me, Lord.

Thoughts on becoming Marketing Director

It has been a week sice my Marketing Director promotion, and as of yesterday, it is offical on the system. The excitment have cooled off, my head have stopped spinning. Now I can calmly put the whole experience into words.

Marketing Director.

For the longest time, I debated on why I wanted to run for Marketing Director. Yeah, I believed that God put me in World Financial Group to teach me lessons, but why run for Marketing Director?

To me, as a Christian, "running" for Marketing Director seemed like ironic. I could put all my effort into "running" for MD, which I did since last December, but I learned that if it is not God's will, He won't give it to you. So it was a constant struggle for me. To "run", or to just let God do it. But I also learned that I cannot just sit around and "wait" for God to do everything. So I was in a dilemma.

It is funny how God been opening doors for me for my MD promotion ever since back in December. And when I think that I'm about to make it, He closes the door on me. By dangling a carrot in front of me, God taught me patience while kept me pushing forward.

In December, with my uncle's case, I could of made the point for MD right away. However, God kept me from closing the case for several months. And in April, when the case was reopened, along with Kam's case (10k points) in the bag, I really thought MD was done deal. But once again, God closed the doors and dragged the case on for another 2 months. I was frustrated.

In the meantime, everyone around me told me that I did a very good job in preparing and presenting my uncle's case. Everyone including TTW, both Sonia and Esther, and Mitchel Singer, the tax lawyer from Transamerica. That case became to talk of the office. My pride started to take over and began to think the I could get myself to MD without anyone's help. And I began to forget to bring glory to God. So God had other plans for me, and refuse to let me close the case. So I eventually shelved the case.

It seem like all was lost in June, with 15k points about to roll, and 31k points to go, I was about to toss in the white towel.

Amazingly, God provided. Within one week, my most disciplined client called me to do further investments and also I found out my parent's insurance policy surrender period was up and needs to be replaced. I quickly closed the cases, and on manual points, I was done. June 20. God is good.

Praise the Lord.

First to hit MD among Ed, Cynthia, and Katy, my pride began to take over again. What I didn't know was God still have one more lesson for me to learn.

Come July 9, the day that June points were suppose to hit the system - I have all my paperwork ready to submit to Head Office for my promotion, thought of running acrossing the stage in Vegas on my mind. The system shows I am 755 point short.

755 points!!! You got to be kidding?!?

By July 15, I realized the error was in a comination of a RSP trade did not reach the system in time, and errors in the points Hassan reported to me.

I was discouraged, it seemed that life was drained out of me. I had 2 options: to dig up 755 points in Apr, May or June, or to run for another 16k points in July.

At the time, I was tired. No, more like exhausted. I knew 16k points is not impossible, but at my current physical state, with 10 days before I fly out to Vegas, I knew it is going to be tough. Especially when my focus will be divided to look for 755 points. Good thing at least Hassan has momentum this month.

I tried every possible way, gone through every channel, till the last week of July, I still could not dig up 755 more points. I had the whole Markham office, TTW, Sherina, Sonia, the Canadian and US Head Office helping me out. I found some true friends during this period of stress: Robert, Julia, and Sonia.

I did everything humanly possible, and I still stepped on the plane to Vegas 9000 points short. I'm burnt out. Everything is up to Hassan now, he told me he will close the 9000 points for me in two days.

It was on that flight, as in my July 27 & 28 journal entry, that I broke down and submit to God.

Only then, God gave me the promotion.

Marketing Director.

Praise the Lord.

All glory belongs to God.

It is truly God's will for me to get this promotion. But only according to his schedule, not by my own works, after I have learned all my lessons and by submitting to Him. Only then, God provided. You can "run", but it's still up to God's timing.

That is why I was lost of words on the stage when I received my promotion... I'm in awe.



Photos

God's Birthday Present for Me

"Happy Birthday, Joel"
-God

Arrived in Vegas last night, tired, but decided to get something to eat first. The usual Paris midnight steak special. :-) During dinner, Xuan came into the restuarant by himself. He just wanted a bowl of noodles, so he joined us at our table.

John stayed behind to talk to Xuan after dinner, the rest of us decided to leave. The gang decide to go for a walk, but for some reason, out of my character, I decided to retire to my room. Once in the room, eventhough I was tried , probably due to thinking about the MD run stress in the coming days, I didn't feel like going to sleep yet.

John & Van returned to the room before the gang came back form the walk. John said "We have good news!" I wasn't sure what he meant at first, but he went into the closet and pulled out a MD jacket, tossed it on the bed beside me and told me it belongs to me.

"Not my will, but Yours be done."

My first thought was God is awesome. Through the last month, through all the stress, He has been watching over me. WOW!!! Now I cannot sleep. God does not provide until you submit to Him. WOW!!! I'm in awe. Marketing Director... not by my own works, but by FAITH.

"You've watched over me, since I was a child.
You've stay close when my heart have gone running wild.
You've welcomed back, again and again.
You've offered me kindness, forgiven my sins."
-You're The Source

Trusting God, 755 points

Middle of the night, on the flight to Las Vegas. In awe of His marvellous display of fireword lightning display out the cabin window.

Wow, what a month, so many things had happened. So many valleys and peaks. And as I head into Las Vegas, I'm burnt out. I'm tired Lord. But that's the least of my concerns. I know my Lord will lift me up, and carry me. My Lord is my strength, my hope and my sheppard. Least few months I learn to turst in the Lord. Life is a test, I just have to rely on Him. Some may say it is ignorance, but I have seen it again and again that He has provided no matter what's the situation. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirsis the kingdom of heaven."

My MD promotion is still uncertain. Just 755 points short in June... or make up the 16k points in July?!? As of now, I still need 9000 points for July... What am I doing on this flight? I still have points to run for... "He gives and takes away." I experienced that first hand in June when I thought my MD run was done, only to realized I am 755 short. I thought I could now focus on the church planting project, without worrying about my MD run... I guess God have other ideas in mind. Faith... just have to have faith that Hassan could get the 9000 points within the next two days, or else another 15k points will roll. I want to trust in you Lord, please teach me how.

Church Planting... Logos Baptist Church (York Mission)... one more month and I'll be put in charge of the English Minsitry. I still got so much to learn, so much to grow. Lord, please help me!

I am reminded to be a good witness to my peers. As I'm on my way to the "City of Sin", God please be with me. Give me the strength to resist the temptations and set an example for my peers.

What God really challenged me the last month was my motives. Why do I do the things I do? Is it to bring glory to God or to glorify myself? To gain for the kingdom og God or for my own personal gain?

Lord please teach me humility. Why do I hold a bible study on Saturday? For fellowship or for personal desires? Lord please give me a clean heart. Why do I bake cookies? Why do I lead worship in care group?

I will soon have to share my testimony in my Care Group. Lord, help me to share so that it brings glory to you and not to myself. Lord, please be a constant reminder for me. Please keep me in check and accountable for my actions.