Last day in Vancouver. God is testing my patience, all of the week’s appointment got pushed back to today. Business-wise, zero quantitative results. Yet, there is a peace in my heart. A peace that is in describable. Before coming to Vancouver, I searched for results – my pride soared high. I told myself I would not return if I don’t get things off the ground through this trip. However, slowly but surely God showed me purpose:
-Seattle, Christine is so closed, SO CLOSED, to be saved.
-Jenny and Mark, such faithful servant of God.
-Eric, Emily and Dylan, rekindled friendships.
-Edmund and Edwin, God is calling them home.
“Then He said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.”
~Matt 9:37, 38
God showed me the greater calling to Vancouver. Now I realized God did not called me to Vancouver for worldly business, but rather for the work of the heavens.
Dear Lord,
Once again I thought I could do things on my own. Sorry Lord, please forgive me. Lord, give me a humble heart; give me the faith to depend solely on You. Praise the Lord for being the Rock. You are unchanging, so we can always depend on You.
Thank You, Lord, for keeping me grounded; for keeping my heart from running wild in this world. Thank You for watching over me and guiding me with you gentle voice. Lord, You said, “Ask and I’ll give the nation to you.” So Lord once again, take my heart, I ask You to use me as one of Your workers in the harvest field.
Amen.
Monday, August 30
Saturday, August 28
Passion...
"Passion is the degree of difficulty you are willing to endure to achieve the goal."
- www.722.org
Joel, can you live by your own teachings? How much do you love Vancouver? If you are telling everyone how much you love to be in Vancouver, why don't you give yourself a reason to come back to Vancouver? So Joel, how much do you want Vancouver? If you want to be in Vancouver so much, if you want to come back to Vancouver, why are you enjoying the city so much now? Time to get to work.
I'm not here to enjoy my stay, if God willing, I'm here to prepare for the future. Build Vancouver. Come when the business is up and running. Then... enjoy Vancouver.
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."
-Matt 16:25
- www.722.org
Joel, can you live by your own teachings? How much do you love Vancouver? If you are telling everyone how much you love to be in Vancouver, why don't you give yourself a reason to come back to Vancouver? So Joel, how much do you want Vancouver? If you want to be in Vancouver so much, if you want to come back to Vancouver, why are you enjoying the city so much now? Time to get to work.
I'm not here to enjoy my stay, if God willing, I'm here to prepare for the future. Build Vancouver. Come when the business is up and running. Then... enjoy Vancouver.
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."
-Matt 16:25
Friday, August 27
Forgiver, Lord and Friend
Vancouver to Seattle...
Praise God for His creation!!! What a beautiful drive throught the mountains. The mountains, the clouds, and the ocean... I am tempted to move to the west coast, but I know that's not God's will, at least for the next year while I still have church planning obligations. If God's willing, maybe one day, I will be in the west coast.
Today, I am reminded that our Father is also my best friend. In Seattle, I had the opportunity to catch up with Jason, Tom, and Christine. Christine shared her experience so far in Seattle, and she mentioned that how much she longed for good friends in Seattle. Jason and I realized immediately that how much she needs Jesus as a friend. Please pray for her.
I realized if my Vancouver trip did not pan out business-wise. The opportunity to share with Christine was more than worth it.
Praise God for His creation!!! What a beautiful drive throught the mountains. The mountains, the clouds, and the ocean... I am tempted to move to the west coast, but I know that's not God's will, at least for the next year while I still have church planning obligations. If God's willing, maybe one day, I will be in the west coast.
Today, I am reminded that our Father is also my best friend. In Seattle, I had the opportunity to catch up with Jason, Tom, and Christine. Christine shared her experience so far in Seattle, and she mentioned that how much she longed for good friends in Seattle. Jason and I realized immediately that how much she needs Jesus as a friend. Please pray for her.
I realized if my Vancouver trip did not pan out business-wise. The opportunity to share with Christine was more than worth it.
Thursday, August 26
Vancouver
Yesterday, I arrived in Vancouver. On my flight, I wondered why God has brought me here. But I guess by faith, I'll find out soon enough. I had some really good quiet times on my flight reading, praying, and seeking God. He taught me to keep my emotions in check, and be patients.
I felt relieved because my mind is no longer crowded with thoughts, as I was for the past month. I had a really good chat with Rev. Lau over breakfast, and I sense from him the vote of confidence for me leading the English ministry. Also God kept me in check with an aweful stomach flu. During my BPM training, I just let God take over. Not to act on my ego and pride, but to humbly share my experience with the team in Vancouver.
Thank You, Lord. I give the next few days in Vancouver into Your hands. Your will be done.
I felt relieved because my mind is no longer crowded with thoughts, as I was for the past month. I had a really good chat with Rev. Lau over breakfast, and I sense from him the vote of confidence for me leading the English ministry. Also God kept me in check with an aweful stomach flu. During my BPM training, I just let God take over. Not to act on my ego and pride, but to humbly share my experience with the team in Vancouver.
Thank You, Lord. I give the next few days in Vancouver into Your hands. Your will be done.
Saturday, August 21
Focus...
JOEL!!! Can you focus? Focus on the glory of God. God has called on me so many times this week, how could I have been so selfish and set my sights on my goals and not His? Lord, please give me the strength to run the good race. Lord, please protect me. Satan has been attacking me from all sides, from temptations to flooding my life with worldly things. Thanks you, Lord, for Ric. For how you sent him to my office to challenge my faith yesterday. "How is your spiritual walk, Joel?", asked Ric. Tough. I could not focus during the Englist Ministry meeting. How am I suppose to lead these God-seeking youth people when I'm not even exhibiting any leadership abilities whatsoever? How can Rev. Lau and Fenny suppose to trust me with the group? Or is this all part of Satan's attacks? Eroding my confidence, cause my to doubt the strength God has provided. Lord, please give me the confidence to carry out your will, to take Your banner and lift it high.
Tomorrow will be my last service at Milliken. I will be in Vancouver next week, and the week after... the new church. Logos Baptist Church (York Region Mission). I hate saying goodbyes to friends - to the brother and sisters that have touched my life over the past 7 years. Thank You, Lord, for the memories and for the friendships. Most of all, thank You, Lord, for Your calling for me.
Lord, thank You for teaching me to have discipline in order to focus on You. Lord, I want to give my life to You. With You, all the trouble in the world will fade away. Give me a heart of a child, to worship You and seek You with shame. To love You with a pure heart.
Thank You, Lord, for the success You have given me this past week, as You prepare me for work in Vancouver, Lord, use me as a carrier of Your light to this dark world, and to share You love to those You have created.
Tomorrow will be my last service at Milliken. I will be in Vancouver next week, and the week after... the new church. Logos Baptist Church (York Region Mission). I hate saying goodbyes to friends - to the brother and sisters that have touched my life over the past 7 years. Thank You, Lord, for the memories and for the friendships. Most of all, thank You, Lord, for Your calling for me.
Lord, thank You for teaching me to have discipline in order to focus on You. Lord, I want to give my life to You. With You, all the trouble in the world will fade away. Give me a heart of a child, to worship You and seek You with shame. To love You with a pure heart.
Thank You, Lord, for the success You have given me this past week, as You prepare me for work in Vancouver, Lord, use me as a carrier of Your light to this dark world, and to share You love to those You have created.
Sunday, August 15
Things Not to Take for Granted
There are so many thoughts running through my mind, Lord please still my heart. Please help me to focus on You, and not on the things of this world.
I realized that just one impure thought, just a speck of sin, can repeal God away from the heart. Lord, please forgive me. Draw me near to You again. Lord, give me a heart that shies away from sins.
Deep breaths. Lord, thank You for giving me life, even though I deserved to die many times over in sin. It is a blessing that every morning I still have breath. Thank You for giving me hands, that I can write this journal. Thanks You for giving me legs, so I can still walk and run. Thank You for giving me ears to hear, so that I can hear the angel voices. Thank You for giving me eyes to see, so that I can witness Your creation. Thank You for parents, for their constant love and care. Lord, please never let me take these things for granted.
Lord please calm my heart…
I realized that just one impure thought, just a speck of sin, can repeal God away from the heart. Lord, please forgive me. Draw me near to You again. Lord, give me a heart that shies away from sins.
Deep breaths. Lord, thank You for giving me life, even though I deserved to die many times over in sin. It is a blessing that every morning I still have breath. Thank You for giving me hands, that I can write this journal. Thanks You for giving me legs, so I can still walk and run. Thank You for giving me ears to hear, so that I can hear the angel voices. Thank You for giving me eyes to see, so that I can witness Your creation. Thank You for parents, for their constant love and care. Lord, please never let me take these things for granted.
Lord please calm my heart…
Wednesday, August 11
Sleepless with Thoughts from God
“I cry out night and day for more
To hold the majesty of You
My God You stand alone
All I worship at Your throne
I will long to seek Your power and glory
Jesus, Lord of all”
-You Stand Alone
I cannot sleep. Woke up at four in the morning with thoughts racing through my head, I could not fall back to sleep. I picked up a book and started reading, hoping that God will speak to me in my devotions.. And oh, He did.
Since two nights ago, God has been planting thoughts in my mind, and by yesterday, these thoughts have consumed me. I immediately called up a good brother, Henry, to pray for me. He gave me words of encouragement and when finally I laid myself down by God’s feet and prayed, I was comforted.
The first thought God challenged with was “how should I act in the church?” I knew it was suppose to be a big responsibility leading the English congregation at he new church, but how should I represent the church in this role? A M3 leader, Servant Leadership Ministry (requires membership, mature growing Christian, self confident to exercise spiritual gift). Am I showing that leadership? I realized even through all the meetings I have attended, I have yet to offered my efforts in the church planting project, and there’s only one month remaining until we began the new church. Many high school teens and university students will be looking up to me. And as the Lord taught me at Teens’ Conference this year, I love every one of them. Lord, show me how to represent the church in front of them.
The second thought was the idea of going to Vancouver at the end of the month. I knew my way to China must pass through Vancouver, and I was planning to go later in the year. But that all changed when my sister booked a flight to go later this month and she asked me to go along. At first I declined, not knowing how much this thought will bother me yesterday. Throughout the day, God continued to plant seeds in my mind and entertained the thought of going to Vancouver: 1) The CEO tour will be in Vancouver that week. 2) My schedule is completely empty that week, no church planting meetings. 3) Linh told me to make a “bold” move.
One of my strengths, and weaknesses, is that I can make a spontaneous decision. However, I do not want to make such a decision driven by my own desires, but by the will of God. It will be a leap of faith to go, because financially I cannot afford another trip at the moment. But I know if it is God’s will, He will provide. I will have one more chat with my sister today, and then I’ll make a solid decision.
The last but not least, a though came to mind while I was reading a moment ago. As I am schedule to train at BPM soon, God challenged me to be bold.
“… but the righteous are as bold as lion.”
-Ps 28:1b
Train out of the Bible. Until now I have only trained out of the teachings of the Bible, but not straight out of the Bible. I won’t know how the office will react, but Gal. 6:9, right?
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Gal 6:9
To hold the majesty of You
My God You stand alone
All I worship at Your throne
I will long to seek Your power and glory
Jesus, Lord of all”
-You Stand Alone
I cannot sleep. Woke up at four in the morning with thoughts racing through my head, I could not fall back to sleep. I picked up a book and started reading, hoping that God will speak to me in my devotions.. And oh, He did.
Since two nights ago, God has been planting thoughts in my mind, and by yesterday, these thoughts have consumed me. I immediately called up a good brother, Henry, to pray for me. He gave me words of encouragement and when finally I laid myself down by God’s feet and prayed, I was comforted.
The first thought God challenged with was “how should I act in the church?” I knew it was suppose to be a big responsibility leading the English congregation at he new church, but how should I represent the church in this role? A M3 leader, Servant Leadership Ministry (requires membership, mature growing Christian, self confident to exercise spiritual gift). Am I showing that leadership? I realized even through all the meetings I have attended, I have yet to offered my efforts in the church planting project, and there’s only one month remaining until we began the new church. Many high school teens and university students will be looking up to me. And as the Lord taught me at Teens’ Conference this year, I love every one of them. Lord, show me how to represent the church in front of them.
The second thought was the idea of going to Vancouver at the end of the month. I knew my way to China must pass through Vancouver, and I was planning to go later in the year. But that all changed when my sister booked a flight to go later this month and she asked me to go along. At first I declined, not knowing how much this thought will bother me yesterday. Throughout the day, God continued to plant seeds in my mind and entertained the thought of going to Vancouver: 1) The CEO tour will be in Vancouver that week. 2) My schedule is completely empty that week, no church planting meetings. 3) Linh told me to make a “bold” move.
One of my strengths, and weaknesses, is that I can make a spontaneous decision. However, I do not want to make such a decision driven by my own desires, but by the will of God. It will be a leap of faith to go, because financially I cannot afford another trip at the moment. But I know if it is God’s will, He will provide. I will have one more chat with my sister today, and then I’ll make a solid decision.
The last but not least, a though came to mind while I was reading a moment ago. As I am schedule to train at BPM soon, God challenged me to be bold.
“… but the righteous are as bold as lion.”
-Ps 28:1b
Train out of the Bible. Until now I have only trained out of the teachings of the Bible, but not straight out of the Bible. I won’t know how the office will react, but Gal. 6:9, right?
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Gal 6:9
Monday, August 9
The Heart of Worship
Today I began my training for the 8 days, 100km backpacking trip through Killarney Provincial Park with Don next month. It was only a 5 km jog in the morning, 10 lbs on my back, and hit the gym for some weights in the afternoon. I’m still a long way from strapping on a 50 lbs pack and hike for 12 hours a day. Don, I will need to strengthen my knees and back in order to keep up you. Maybe I should have listened and begin training a month ago. :-)
During the jog, I had the chance to reflect on the camping trip this past weekend with my Care Group. Funny unlike my previous camps, it wasn’t God’s creation that inspired me the most, but it was the fellowship we had, sitting around the campfire chatting till the middle of the night. Also for the decision to pack up early Sunday to make our way back to church, I’ll have to thank Jenny. Thank her for her heart of worship she showed me in Vegas. It was because we made the effort to get back to church, I had the opportunity to let God speak to me during service. God reminded me of the Parable of Prodigal Son. Just like when I came back to the Load last year, previous thinking take I could have handled this world on my own; only to come back to Him with a failed engineering career and a failed 7 years relationship. The Lord did not sit on His throne waiting for my return and my explanation, but rather He rand to me, hugged me and kissed me, before I even said a single word.
So I guess that is the heart of worship, making the effort to be with God. In our busy lives it is so easy to neglect our personal time with God. As Bill Hybel said in his book, Too Busy Not to Pray. When life overwhelms us, we have to slow down to be with God. That’s why I treasure the time I spend with God as I write in this journal. Pray to God that no on can take this time with God away from me.
Last but not least, today in the office, Ed and I had a good discussion regarding God’s purpose for us in the office. Ed told me that "We do need to encourage each other in the faith and be more active in the ministry of witnessing to our WFG friends and colleagues."
During the jog, I had the chance to reflect on the camping trip this past weekend with my Care Group. Funny unlike my previous camps, it wasn’t God’s creation that inspired me the most, but it was the fellowship we had, sitting around the campfire chatting till the middle of the night. Also for the decision to pack up early Sunday to make our way back to church, I’ll have to thank Jenny. Thank her for her heart of worship she showed me in Vegas. It was because we made the effort to get back to church, I had the opportunity to let God speak to me during service. God reminded me of the Parable of Prodigal Son. Just like when I came back to the Load last year, previous thinking take I could have handled this world on my own; only to come back to Him with a failed engineering career and a failed 7 years relationship. The Lord did not sit on His throne waiting for my return and my explanation, but rather He rand to me, hugged me and kissed me, before I even said a single word.
So I guess that is the heart of worship, making the effort to be with God. In our busy lives it is so easy to neglect our personal time with God. As Bill Hybel said in his book, Too Busy Not to Pray. When life overwhelms us, we have to slow down to be with God. That’s why I treasure the time I spend with God as I write in this journal. Pray to God that no on can take this time with God away from me.
Last but not least, today in the office, Ed and I had a good discussion regarding God’s purpose for us in the office. Ed told me that "We do need to encourage each other in the faith and be more active in the ministry of witnessing to our WFG friends and colleagues."
Friday, August 6
My Place in WFG
As I drove back from Ottawa today, I had the opportunity to use the solitude to think. Ever since that close call on the highway last winter, a truck causing me to spin 360° on the highway, I dread driving long distances. Especially driving alone. However I still treasure the thoughts, the conversations with God, and singing praises at the top of my lungs while I drive long distance alone.
Today, I tried to find some answers to the issue that been bothering me for the longest time. How to serve God in World Financial Group? I have had many similar conversations with Tim, Dave and Fanny regarding this.
"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
-Matt 6:24
To be honest, that kept me from putting all my effort in WFG in the first place. But now that God has given me the MD title, there must be a purpose for me. How do I teach people concepts to become financially independent while not being a slave to money? Tim, Fanny and I concluded that if we can teach people not to worry able money, then they won't be slaved to it. Is it that simple though? Because in the process of "obtaining" wealth, one is driven by money, and hence are being enslaved by it.
How I wish to have a Christian leader at work that I can relate to...
I remember one thing that Pat Kwan told me after the Gala really hit me. She said "It is good to finally see a good Christian promoted to MD in the office." It was as if God trying to tell me something. And the fact that I am now sharing a office room with Ed Yeung, we now have a Christian stronghold in the Markham office.
God had given me plenty of opportunities in the past to share my faith in the office. To Peter, Bonnie and Hassan. Plus the many times I have done BPM training out of the Bible or sermon notes. Maybe this is an area of service God is calling me into. Tentmaking.
"Joel, would you mind making another career change in the future?" Asked Rev. Michael Lau. Over lunch discussing plans for the Church Planting Project.
I had the burden for China ever since the Tentmaking workshop at Missionfest... and God is slowly equiping me with Mardarin over last month, and I am not afraid to do a Cantonese BPM. Plus Judy told me last night that she plans to announce operations in Hong Kong in Oct, and now that I'm MD, she invited me to join her.
Is it Your will, Lord?
"You said, Ask and I'll give the nation to you.
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the island will see
Your light as it rises on us."
-You Said
Give me China, Lord. Not for wealth or fame, but for Your glory!
Is God really using WFG as a vehicle for me to tentmake in China? If so, maybe God is calling me to be THAT Christian leader I've been looking for.
From Chruch Planting to Tentmaking in China... God has opened many doors for me, and many challenges too. Lord, give me the faith and the strength to step through these open doors. And Lord, help me resist the temptations to serve money, but to serve only You, the King of kings, Lord of lords.
Send me, Lord.
Today, I tried to find some answers to the issue that been bothering me for the longest time. How to serve God in World Financial Group? I have had many similar conversations with Tim, Dave and Fanny regarding this.
"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
-Matt 6:24
To be honest, that kept me from putting all my effort in WFG in the first place. But now that God has given me the MD title, there must be a purpose for me. How do I teach people concepts to become financially independent while not being a slave to money? Tim, Fanny and I concluded that if we can teach people not to worry able money, then they won't be slaved to it. Is it that simple though? Because in the process of "obtaining" wealth, one is driven by money, and hence are being enslaved by it.
How I wish to have a Christian leader at work that I can relate to...
I remember one thing that Pat Kwan told me after the Gala really hit me. She said "It is good to finally see a good Christian promoted to MD in the office." It was as if God trying to tell me something. And the fact that I am now sharing a office room with Ed Yeung, we now have a Christian stronghold in the Markham office.
God had given me plenty of opportunities in the past to share my faith in the office. To Peter, Bonnie and Hassan. Plus the many times I have done BPM training out of the Bible or sermon notes. Maybe this is an area of service God is calling me into. Tentmaking.
"Joel, would you mind making another career change in the future?" Asked Rev. Michael Lau. Over lunch discussing plans for the Church Planting Project.
I had the burden for China ever since the Tentmaking workshop at Missionfest... and God is slowly equiping me with Mardarin over last month, and I am not afraid to do a Cantonese BPM. Plus Judy told me last night that she plans to announce operations in Hong Kong in Oct, and now that I'm MD, she invited me to join her.
Is it Your will, Lord?
"You said, Ask and I'll give the nation to you.
O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.
Distant shores and the island will see
Your light as it rises on us."
-You Said
Give me China, Lord. Not for wealth or fame, but for Your glory!
Is God really using WFG as a vehicle for me to tentmake in China? If so, maybe God is calling me to be THAT Christian leader I've been looking for.
From Chruch Planting to Tentmaking in China... God has opened many doors for me, and many challenges too. Lord, give me the faith and the strength to step through these open doors. And Lord, help me resist the temptations to serve money, but to serve only You, the King of kings, Lord of lords.
Send me, Lord.
Thursday, August 5
Thoughts on becoming Marketing Director
It has been a week sice my Marketing Director promotion, and as of yesterday, it is offical on the system. The excitment have cooled off, my head have stopped spinning. Now I can calmly put the whole experience into words.
Marketing Director.
For the longest time, I debated on why I wanted to run for Marketing Director. Yeah, I believed that God put me in World Financial Group to teach me lessons, but why run for Marketing Director?
To me, as a Christian, "running" for Marketing Director seemed like ironic. I could put all my effort into "running" for MD, which I did since last December, but I learned that if it is not God's will, He won't give it to you. So it was a constant struggle for me. To "run", or to just let God do it. But I also learned that I cannot just sit around and "wait" for God to do everything. So I was in a dilemma.
It is funny how God been opening doors for me for my MD promotion ever since back in December. And when I think that I'm about to make it, He closes the door on me. By dangling a carrot in front of me, God taught me patience while kept me pushing forward.
In December, with my uncle's case, I could of made the point for MD right away. However, God kept me from closing the case for several months. And in April, when the case was reopened, along with Kam's case (10k points) in the bag, I really thought MD was done deal. But once again, God closed the doors and dragged the case on for another 2 months. I was frustrated.
In the meantime, everyone around me told me that I did a very good job in preparing and presenting my uncle's case. Everyone including TTW, both Sonia and Esther, and Mitchel Singer, the tax lawyer from Transamerica. That case became to talk of the office. My pride started to take over and began to think the I could get myself to MD without anyone's help. And I began to forget to bring glory to God. So God had other plans for me, and refuse to let me close the case. So I eventually shelved the case.
It seem like all was lost in June, with 15k points about to roll, and 31k points to go, I was about to toss in the white towel.
Amazingly, God provided. Within one week, my most disciplined client called me to do further investments and also I found out my parent's insurance policy surrender period was up and needs to be replaced. I quickly closed the cases, and on manual points, I was done. June 20. God is good.
Praise the Lord.
First to hit MD among Ed, Cynthia, and Katy, my pride began to take over again. What I didn't know was God still have one more lesson for me to learn.
Come July 9, the day that June points were suppose to hit the system - I have all my paperwork ready to submit to Head Office for my promotion, thought of running acrossing the stage in Vegas on my mind. The system shows I am 755 point short.
755 points!!! You got to be kidding?!?
By July 15, I realized the error was in a comination of a RSP trade did not reach the system in time, and errors in the points Hassan reported to me.
I was discouraged, it seemed that life was drained out of me. I had 2 options: to dig up 755 points in Apr, May or June, or to run for another 16k points in July.
At the time, I was tired. No, more like exhausted. I knew 16k points is not impossible, but at my current physical state, with 10 days before I fly out to Vegas, I knew it is going to be tough. Especially when my focus will be divided to look for 755 points. Good thing at least Hassan has momentum this month.
I tried every possible way, gone through every channel, till the last week of July, I still could not dig up 755 more points. I had the whole Markham office, TTW, Sherina, Sonia, the Canadian and US Head Office helping me out. I found some true friends during this period of stress: Robert, Julia, and Sonia.
I did everything humanly possible, and I still stepped on the plane to Vegas 9000 points short. I'm burnt out. Everything is up to Hassan now, he told me he will close the 9000 points for me in two days.
It was on that flight, as in my July 27 & 28 journal entry, that I broke down and submit to God.
Only then, God gave me the promotion.
Marketing Director.
Praise the Lord.
All glory belongs to God.
It is truly God's will for me to get this promotion. But only according to his schedule, not by my own works, after I have learned all my lessons and by submitting to Him. Only then, God provided. You can "run", but it's still up to God's timing.
That is why I was lost of words on the stage when I received my promotion... I'm in awe.
Photos
Marketing Director.
For the longest time, I debated on why I wanted to run for Marketing Director. Yeah, I believed that God put me in World Financial Group to teach me lessons, but why run for Marketing Director?
To me, as a Christian, "running" for Marketing Director seemed like ironic. I could put all my effort into "running" for MD, which I did since last December, but I learned that if it is not God's will, He won't give it to you. So it was a constant struggle for me. To "run", or to just let God do it. But I also learned that I cannot just sit around and "wait" for God to do everything. So I was in a dilemma.
It is funny how God been opening doors for me for my MD promotion ever since back in December. And when I think that I'm about to make it, He closes the door on me. By dangling a carrot in front of me, God taught me patience while kept me pushing forward.
In December, with my uncle's case, I could of made the point for MD right away. However, God kept me from closing the case for several months. And in April, when the case was reopened, along with Kam's case (10k points) in the bag, I really thought MD was done deal. But once again, God closed the doors and dragged the case on for another 2 months. I was frustrated.
In the meantime, everyone around me told me that I did a very good job in preparing and presenting my uncle's case. Everyone including TTW, both Sonia and Esther, and Mitchel Singer, the tax lawyer from Transamerica. That case became to talk of the office. My pride started to take over and began to think the I could get myself to MD without anyone's help. And I began to forget to bring glory to God. So God had other plans for me, and refuse to let me close the case. So I eventually shelved the case.
It seem like all was lost in June, with 15k points about to roll, and 31k points to go, I was about to toss in the white towel.
Amazingly, God provided. Within one week, my most disciplined client called me to do further investments and also I found out my parent's insurance policy surrender period was up and needs to be replaced. I quickly closed the cases, and on manual points, I was done. June 20. God is good.
Praise the Lord.
First to hit MD among Ed, Cynthia, and Katy, my pride began to take over again. What I didn't know was God still have one more lesson for me to learn.
Come July 9, the day that June points were suppose to hit the system - I have all my paperwork ready to submit to Head Office for my promotion, thought of running acrossing the stage in Vegas on my mind. The system shows I am 755 point short.
755 points!!! You got to be kidding?!?
By July 15, I realized the error was in a comination of a RSP trade did not reach the system in time, and errors in the points Hassan reported to me.
I was discouraged, it seemed that life was drained out of me. I had 2 options: to dig up 755 points in Apr, May or June, or to run for another 16k points in July.
At the time, I was tired. No, more like exhausted. I knew 16k points is not impossible, but at my current physical state, with 10 days before I fly out to Vegas, I knew it is going to be tough. Especially when my focus will be divided to look for 755 points. Good thing at least Hassan has momentum this month.
I tried every possible way, gone through every channel, till the last week of July, I still could not dig up 755 more points. I had the whole Markham office, TTW, Sherina, Sonia, the Canadian and US Head Office helping me out. I found some true friends during this period of stress: Robert, Julia, and Sonia.
I did everything humanly possible, and I still stepped on the plane to Vegas 9000 points short. I'm burnt out. Everything is up to Hassan now, he told me he will close the 9000 points for me in two days.
It was on that flight, as in my July 27 & 28 journal entry, that I broke down and submit to God.
Only then, God gave me the promotion.
Marketing Director.
Praise the Lord.
All glory belongs to God.
It is truly God's will for me to get this promotion. But only according to his schedule, not by my own works, after I have learned all my lessons and by submitting to Him. Only then, God provided. You can "run", but it's still up to God's timing.
That is why I was lost of words on the stage when I received my promotion... I'm in awe.
Photos
Wednesday, July 28
God's Birthday Present for Me
"Happy Birthday, Joel"
-God
Arrived in Vegas last night, tired, but decided to get something to eat first. The usual Paris midnight steak special. :-) During dinner, Xuan came into the restuarant by himself. He just wanted a bowl of noodles, so he joined us at our table.
John stayed behind to talk to Xuan after dinner, the rest of us decided to leave. The gang decide to go for a walk, but for some reason, out of my character, I decided to retire to my room. Once in the room, eventhough I was tried , probably due to thinking about the MD run stress in the coming days, I didn't feel like going to sleep yet.
John & Van returned to the room before the gang came back form the walk. John said "We have good news!" I wasn't sure what he meant at first, but he went into the closet and pulled out a MD jacket, tossed it on the bed beside me and told me it belongs to me.
"Not my will, but Yours be done."
My first thought was God is awesome. Through the last month, through all the stress, He has been watching over me. WOW!!! Now I cannot sleep. God does not provide until you submit to Him. WOW!!! I'm in awe. Marketing Director... not by my own works, but by FAITH.
"You've watched over me, since I was a child.
You've stay close when my heart have gone running wild.
You've welcomed back, again and again.
You've offered me kindness, forgiven my sins."
-You're The Source
-God
Arrived in Vegas last night, tired, but decided to get something to eat first. The usual Paris midnight steak special. :-) During dinner, Xuan came into the restuarant by himself. He just wanted a bowl of noodles, so he joined us at our table.
John stayed behind to talk to Xuan after dinner, the rest of us decided to leave. The gang decide to go for a walk, but for some reason, out of my character, I decided to retire to my room. Once in the room, eventhough I was tried , probably due to thinking about the MD run stress in the coming days, I didn't feel like going to sleep yet.
John & Van returned to the room before the gang came back form the walk. John said "We have good news!" I wasn't sure what he meant at first, but he went into the closet and pulled out a MD jacket, tossed it on the bed beside me and told me it belongs to me.
"Not my will, but Yours be done."
My first thought was God is awesome. Through the last month, through all the stress, He has been watching over me. WOW!!! Now I cannot sleep. God does not provide until you submit to Him. WOW!!! I'm in awe. Marketing Director... not by my own works, but by FAITH.
"You've watched over me, since I was a child.
You've stay close when my heart have gone running wild.
You've welcomed back, again and again.
You've offered me kindness, forgiven my sins."
-You're The Source
Tuesday, July 27
Trusting God, 755 points
Middle of the night, on the flight to Las Vegas. In awe of His marvellous display of fireword lightning display out the cabin window.
Wow, what a month, so many things had happened. So many valleys and peaks. And as I head into Las Vegas, I'm burnt out. I'm tired Lord. But that's the least of my concerns. I know my Lord will lift me up, and carry me. My Lord is my strength, my hope and my sheppard. Least few months I learn to turst in the Lord. Life is a test, I just have to rely on Him. Some may say it is ignorance, but I have seen it again and again that He has provided no matter what's the situation. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirsis the kingdom of heaven."
My MD promotion is still uncertain. Just 755 points short in June... or make up the 16k points in July?!? As of now, I still need 9000 points for July... What am I doing on this flight? I still have points to run for... "He gives and takes away." I experienced that first hand in June when I thought my MD run was done, only to realized I am 755 short. I thought I could now focus on the church planting project, without worrying about my MD run... I guess God have other ideas in mind. Faith... just have to have faith that Hassan could get the 9000 points within the next two days, or else another 15k points will roll. I want to trust in you Lord, please teach me how.
Church Planting... Logos Baptist Church (York Mission)... one more month and I'll be put in charge of the English Minsitry. I still got so much to learn, so much to grow. Lord, please help me!
I am reminded to be a good witness to my peers. As I'm on my way to the "City of Sin", God please be with me. Give me the strength to resist the temptations and set an example for my peers.
What God really challenged me the last month was my motives. Why do I do the things I do? Is it to bring glory to God or to glorify myself? To gain for the kingdom og God or for my own personal gain?
Lord please teach me humility. Why do I hold a bible study on Saturday? For fellowship or for personal desires? Lord please give me a clean heart. Why do I bake cookies? Why do I lead worship in care group?
I will soon have to share my testimony in my Care Group. Lord, help me to share so that it brings glory to you and not to myself. Lord, please be a constant reminder for me. Please keep me in check and accountable for my actions.
Wow, what a month, so many things had happened. So many valleys and peaks. And as I head into Las Vegas, I'm burnt out. I'm tired Lord. But that's the least of my concerns. I know my Lord will lift me up, and carry me. My Lord is my strength, my hope and my sheppard. Least few months I learn to turst in the Lord. Life is a test, I just have to rely on Him. Some may say it is ignorance, but I have seen it again and again that He has provided no matter what's the situation. "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirsis the kingdom of heaven."
My MD promotion is still uncertain. Just 755 points short in June... or make up the 16k points in July?!? As of now, I still need 9000 points for July... What am I doing on this flight? I still have points to run for... "He gives and takes away." I experienced that first hand in June when I thought my MD run was done, only to realized I am 755 short. I thought I could now focus on the church planting project, without worrying about my MD run... I guess God have other ideas in mind. Faith... just have to have faith that Hassan could get the 9000 points within the next two days, or else another 15k points will roll. I want to trust in you Lord, please teach me how.
Church Planting... Logos Baptist Church (York Mission)... one more month and I'll be put in charge of the English Minsitry. I still got so much to learn, so much to grow. Lord, please help me!
I am reminded to be a good witness to my peers. As I'm on my way to the "City of Sin", God please be with me. Give me the strength to resist the temptations and set an example for my peers.
What God really challenged me the last month was my motives. Why do I do the things I do? Is it to bring glory to God or to glorify myself? To gain for the kingdom og God or for my own personal gain?
Lord please teach me humility. Why do I hold a bible study on Saturday? For fellowship or for personal desires? Lord please give me a clean heart. Why do I bake cookies? Why do I lead worship in care group?
I will soon have to share my testimony in my Care Group. Lord, help me to share so that it brings glory to you and not to myself. Lord, please be a constant reminder for me. Please keep me in check and accountable for my actions.
Wednesday, June 23
Be Loved When You are Weak
40 days in the desert. Tempted. Challenged. Fought. Triumphed... In conclusion, a suffering God?!? Why it has to be this way?
We were created to worship You. You could of wowed us with miracles, with powers, and with glory. Surely we would have bowed down and worshiped when we witnessed Your great powers. But, in stead, you chose to be humble, chose the cross, and suffered at our hands... why?
Would You rather be loved when You were powerful? Or would You rather be loved when You are weak?
40 days in the desert. Tempted. Challenged. Fought. Triumphed... In conclusion, a suffering God?!? Why it has to be this way?
We were created to worship You. You could of wowed us with miracles, with powers, and with glory. Surely we would have bowed down and worshiped when we witnessed Your great powers. But, in stead, you chose to be humble, chose the cross, and suffered at our hands... why?
Would You rather be loved when You were powerful? Or would You rather be loved when You are weak?
Wednesday, May 26
Faith as Small as Mustard Seeds
There is none like you. The walls could crumble, the world could fade, but in the end, God is unchanging. He is the Rock. I could lose everything in this world, but yet He will still be there.
Once again, I continue to question what is faith. Or better yet. How to have to faith to move mountains, to part the seas, and to uproot trees. All it takes is faith as small as a mustard seed, how how to have such faith? Everyday, God show me to have faith in Him and He will provide. Just like during the Spring Retreat, I was tempted to worry about work, worry about the things in life. But God reminded me to be still, and He will provided.
How can I be so faithless? In the end, He DID provide.
There is none like you. The walls could crumble, the world could fade, but in the end, God is unchanging. He is the Rock. I could lose everything in this world, but yet He will still be there.
Once again, I continue to question what is faith. Or better yet. How to have to faith to move mountains, to part the seas, and to uproot trees. All it takes is faith as small as a mustard seed, how how to have such faith? Everyday, God show me to have faith in Him and He will provide. Just like during the Spring Retreat, I was tempted to worry about work, worry about the things in life. But God reminded me to be still, and He will provided.
How can I be so faithless? In the end, He DID provide.
Sunday, April 11
Backpaking - Bruce National Park
Icy Trails and Cliffs - Not a Good Combination
I'm home. 11km hike today, 25km over the weekend, 4 hours drive later, I'm home. How nice is it to have a warm shower. My gear is now laid across the basement floor like a yard sale, to be air dried. My bed calling me to sleep. But I wat to put my thoughts down first.
The pictures were great, but is doesn't tell half the story of the trip. They do not describe the morning chills, the roaring waves, and the tender knees.
My knees are in worst shape than I initially though, the left knee is especially tender. The shoulders are not too bad, thanks to a good pack. The left arch is bugging me a little. And the moleskin repair job last night probably savedme from blisters on my toes.
How should I describe today? "Icy trails and cliffs are not a good combination."
Once again, I did not ahve a good night sleep. Eventhough I called it the night at 8:45p.m. and fell asleep right away. According to Don, last night was colder than the night before, but I don't noticed. I forgot to remove my down vest before sleeping, I eventually overheated by 5:00 in the morning. I could not simply unzip my sleeping bag bacuase I was afraid I'll loss too much body heat and cannot reheat the bag. So I removed my down and fleece inside the bag (not the easiest task) and I eventually cooled down. Due to this overheading, I developed a fever-like headache. At 6:00a.m., Don asked if I wanted to watch the sunrise, but I passed on the opportunity.
By 8:00a.m., onlyfeeling about 60%, I forced myself up. We eventually hit the trails by 10:30a.m. While we were having breakfast, our neighbour the red squrrel ran circles around us.
Our day's hike began with 2 steep ascends. After the frist ascend, we followed the wrong trail for 15min until I convinced Don to turn around.
At first, the ascend was not too bad, even as we maintained yesterday's pace. With a fresh pair of legs, my quads faithfully carried me and my pack up the rocky slope. But the occassional descend is a different story. My left knee have been giving me grief all day. It will scream in pain everytime I shift my weight to my left side.
Aside for the pain, the view today was breath taking. Clear skies. Perfect weather. We stopped at all the outlooks and and overhangs to take pictures of each other.
When we near my car, we took a short break on the white pebble beach of Halfway Log Dump for a break. Surprisingly, we were at the car by 2:30p.m. Faster than yesterday, and my legs feels much better.
After as short lunch, we drove to Crypus Lake of Bruce National Park. We decided to take a short day hike, but I was concerned about my knee, so it was going to be 1 1/2 bours max.
I was reluctent to go at first, but as we set off it turned out to be the best time we had all weekend. Funny how God teaches us to be patient. At times, it was the most rugged terrain we have encountered, but freed from our packs we could tackle anything. We jumped from rock to rock, climbed trees, and even saw an awesome underwater cave called the "Grotto". We took lots of pictures, most silly and spend 2.5 hours there. We also learn about the history of Bruce.
Throught the trip, the song "It's Your Move" been ringing through my mind. I was surprised that after 8 years since teens conference I still remember all the lyrics. I know God is telling me something. It's my move.
Well, time to sleep. Hopefully my knees will be better tomorrow.
I'm home. 11km hike today, 25km over the weekend, 4 hours drive later, I'm home. How nice is it to have a warm shower. My gear is now laid across the basement floor like a yard sale, to be air dried. My bed calling me to sleep. But I wat to put my thoughts down first.
The pictures were great, but is doesn't tell half the story of the trip. They do not describe the morning chills, the roaring waves, and the tender knees.
My knees are in worst shape than I initially though, the left knee is especially tender. The shoulders are not too bad, thanks to a good pack. The left arch is bugging me a little. And the moleskin repair job last night probably savedme from blisters on my toes.
How should I describe today? "Icy trails and cliffs are not a good combination."
Once again, I did not ahve a good night sleep. Eventhough I called it the night at 8:45p.m. and fell asleep right away. According to Don, last night was colder than the night before, but I don't noticed. I forgot to remove my down vest before sleeping, I eventually overheated by 5:00 in the morning. I could not simply unzip my sleeping bag bacuase I was afraid I'll loss too much body heat and cannot reheat the bag. So I removed my down and fleece inside the bag (not the easiest task) and I eventually cooled down. Due to this overheading, I developed a fever-like headache. At 6:00a.m., Don asked if I wanted to watch the sunrise, but I passed on the opportunity.
By 8:00a.m., onlyfeeling about 60%, I forced myself up. We eventually hit the trails by 10:30a.m. While we were having breakfast, our neighbour the red squrrel ran circles around us.
Our day's hike began with 2 steep ascends. After the frist ascend, we followed the wrong trail for 15min until I convinced Don to turn around.
At first, the ascend was not too bad, even as we maintained yesterday's pace. With a fresh pair of legs, my quads faithfully carried me and my pack up the rocky slope. But the occassional descend is a different story. My left knee have been giving me grief all day. It will scream in pain everytime I shift my weight to my left side.
Aside for the pain, the view today was breath taking. Clear skies. Perfect weather. We stopped at all the outlooks and and overhangs to take pictures of each other.
When we near my car, we took a short break on the white pebble beach of Halfway Log Dump for a break. Surprisingly, we were at the car by 2:30p.m. Faster than yesterday, and my legs feels much better.
After as short lunch, we drove to Crypus Lake of Bruce National Park. We decided to take a short day hike, but I was concerned about my knee, so it was going to be 1 1/2 bours max.
I was reluctent to go at first, but as we set off it turned out to be the best time we had all weekend. Funny how God teaches us to be patient. At times, it was the most rugged terrain we have encountered, but freed from our packs we could tackle anything. We jumped from rock to rock, climbed trees, and even saw an awesome underwater cave called the "Grotto". We took lots of pictures, most silly and spend 2.5 hours there. We also learn about the history of Bruce.
Throught the trip, the song "It's Your Move" been ringing through my mind. I was surprised that after 8 years since teens conference I still remember all the lyrics. I know God is telling me something. It's my move.
Well, time to sleep. Hopefully my knees will be better tomorrow.
Saturday, April 10
Backpaking - Bruce National Park
Cold Fingers, Runny Nose
Photos
7:00p.m.
Bruce Trail, Bruce National Park, High Dump Campsite
I'm sitting on a bent tree, with ths sounds of the crashing wavws of Georgian Bay in front of me, and to my left, the trikling sound of a running creek. It is my second day on the trail. The weather could not be nicer. Clear blue skies. The sun setting behind my back. Temperature just above 0°C, perfect backpacking weather. In the morning, the breeze is a bit chilly, but good thing it had died down during the day.
Doa and I arived at the trailhead yesterday at 5:15p.m By the time we began our journey, it was already 5:45. My first thoughts were, "Boy, it is cold!" Cold fingers, runny nose. That has been the theme so far. But yesterday, that was least of my concern. We had a 3km hike ahead of us, through very rugged terrain, on our very fist hike of the year, with just approx. 2 hours of daylight left, I knew we'll be pushing it. Maybe that will help keep my mind off the 45 lbs pack I have on my back. :-)
As we made our way through the forest, I began to wonder why did they chose to use a white trail marker when it is almost impossible to locate with snow still on the trail. Don is quite a character, I noticed he likes to peek into every crack and cravesses in the rock formations. And now, on my distant right, he thinks he is a prehistoric caveman making weapons out of the stones he found on the beach. Though he is quiet, he's fun to camp with. At times, I think I'm more quiet than he is.
Haha, now there is some weird water bubbling sounds beneath the rocks and peddles by my feet.
Back to the hike. When we got to the first lookout, I was in awe. Blue clear skies, green clear waters, white rocks, sun setting in the west. WOW. God is awesome.
As we continue to make way to our campsite, suddenly something else was bothering me. Not the concerns about getting to the campsite before sundown, not the weight of my pack, not the pain in my toes trying to adapt to this vigous hike. No. I realized that this was the first time in 7 years I camed without Winnie. I fought hard against this demon that surfaced. It seemed to be an eternality, thoughts that I know I can overcome, but it was still bothering me. Until we came to an deadend on the trail. The trail led us straight to a rock face. I looked up and realized that this is NOT a deadend, I can see the trail market at the top of the rock face. So we made out way, on all four, and ascended this challenge. When I finally reached the top, I looked back, and realized the demon had disappered. I looked up and said to myself, "Winnie could have never been able to make it up here." And because of that, I would not have able to spend this time with God.
7:15, we are at our capsite, with about an hour of daylight to spare. I realized Don and I hike at a fast pace. Surely faster than my usual 2km/hr in rough terrain. Here we are. Stormhaven Campsite. Beautiful white pebble beach. Sounds of crashing waves. We quickly setup camp and made dinner. Don and I each took a wooned platform campsite. I found it odd at fisrt, Don still chose to camp on his own. But I learn not to question a fellow backpacker on his practice, because my actions can seem weird to others too.
I chose, to save weight, to fastpack my tent. So the evening was colder than usual without the etra layer of protection of the tent body. Plus my tent was on a bed of snow. I had trouble sleeping all night, woke up several times at night due to the cold. I went to bad at 10:00, but by 6:00a.m., I was already up.
When I was up, the sky was already bright. I thought from the position of our camp, we would not able to see the sunrise. So I began to prepare breakfast. To my surpirse, the sun rose over the horizon. FIlled the white beach with an orange glow. Another thing I noticed was the tide was much higher this morning. Where we had dinner last night is now under water. Good thing Don decided against sleeping on the beach last night.
We hit the trail again at record time, 8:45a.m., we have 11km ahead of us today, 3 km back to the car, resupply, and 8 km the other way to our next campsite. We made it back to the car in 1hr 20min. Our pace is really beginning to surprise me. And it is not the easiest terrain too. In fact, it is quite challenging.
The sun has almost set now. What a beautiful sight. I'm gonna have to make this quick, because it is going to get cold really fast.
We had lunch by my car, and resupplied. Since the sky is now overcast, and we saw some flurries, we debated whether of not for me to pack my tent body. Don managed to talk me out of it. Maybe his ultralight philosophy is slowly rubbing onto me.
We wet off again at noon. I noticed that Don's pack was even lighter than yesterday, and he's not even wearing boos anymore. That means his pack is at most 20lbs, that a 20lbs difference from my pack. Plus he's more nimble than me since I'm still wearing my boots. I had a had time catching up to him all afternoon, and I racely got a chance to take a break. We arrived at a major landmark, marking the halfway point in this 8km leg, in 1hr 15min. We couldn't believe it. We initially estimated to arrive at camp by 5:00p.m To do half of the journey in just more than 1 hour, UNBELIEVABLE.
I checked the map at least 3 more times, there's no way I could have misread the map, therefore, we are travelling close to 4km/hr. WOW! 2:00p.m. Pain in my knees and my left shoulder. Trying to keep up with Don is taking a toll on me.
My quads could barely support my own weight now, let alone the 40 extra pounds on my back.
3:00p.m., we arrived at a shelter, one more steep descend and we are at the High Dump Campsite. We got the chance to stretch and layer up before the last descend. The break was enough to give me one more push to the finish.
The vescend was really steep and covered with ice. But it was good. The slow pace allow my legs to rest in between steps. And our hiking poles were doing wonders.
We chose a campsite and began to set camp by 4:00p.m. Don and I are sharing a platform tonight. There was no two good campsites in near proximate.
We had plenty of time to set camp, and to wind down. Don took his time to setup his trap. Meanwhile I had my tent up and prepared dinner.
Now that dinner is done, 8:20p.m. the sky is getting dark... and cold hands beginning to set in. Time to settle in, rest those knees and prepare to play catch up with Don again tomorrow.
It is great to take in the nature, and witness God's creation.
God is awesome.
Photos
7:00p.m.
Bruce Trail, Bruce National Park, High Dump Campsite
I'm sitting on a bent tree, with ths sounds of the crashing wavws of Georgian Bay in front of me, and to my left, the trikling sound of a running creek. It is my second day on the trail. The weather could not be nicer. Clear blue skies. The sun setting behind my back. Temperature just above 0°C, perfect backpacking weather. In the morning, the breeze is a bit chilly, but good thing it had died down during the day.
Doa and I arived at the trailhead yesterday at 5:15p.m By the time we began our journey, it was already 5:45. My first thoughts were, "Boy, it is cold!" Cold fingers, runny nose. That has been the theme so far. But yesterday, that was least of my concern. We had a 3km hike ahead of us, through very rugged terrain, on our very fist hike of the year, with just approx. 2 hours of daylight left, I knew we'll be pushing it. Maybe that will help keep my mind off the 45 lbs pack I have on my back. :-)
As we made our way through the forest, I began to wonder why did they chose to use a white trail marker when it is almost impossible to locate with snow still on the trail. Don is quite a character, I noticed he likes to peek into every crack and cravesses in the rock formations. And now, on my distant right, he thinks he is a prehistoric caveman making weapons out of the stones he found on the beach. Though he is quiet, he's fun to camp with. At times, I think I'm more quiet than he is.
Haha, now there is some weird water bubbling sounds beneath the rocks and peddles by my feet.
Back to the hike. When we got to the first lookout, I was in awe. Blue clear skies, green clear waters, white rocks, sun setting in the west. WOW. God is awesome.
As we continue to make way to our campsite, suddenly something else was bothering me. Not the concerns about getting to the campsite before sundown, not the weight of my pack, not the pain in my toes trying to adapt to this vigous hike. No. I realized that this was the first time in 7 years I camed without Winnie. I fought hard against this demon that surfaced. It seemed to be an eternality, thoughts that I know I can overcome, but it was still bothering me. Until we came to an deadend on the trail. The trail led us straight to a rock face. I looked up and realized that this is NOT a deadend, I can see the trail market at the top of the rock face. So we made out way, on all four, and ascended this challenge. When I finally reached the top, I looked back, and realized the demon had disappered. I looked up and said to myself, "Winnie could have never been able to make it up here." And because of that, I would not have able to spend this time with God.
7:15, we are at our capsite, with about an hour of daylight to spare. I realized Don and I hike at a fast pace. Surely faster than my usual 2km/hr in rough terrain. Here we are. Stormhaven Campsite. Beautiful white pebble beach. Sounds of crashing waves. We quickly setup camp and made dinner. Don and I each took a wooned platform campsite. I found it odd at fisrt, Don still chose to camp on his own. But I learn not to question a fellow backpacker on his practice, because my actions can seem weird to others too.
I chose, to save weight, to fastpack my tent. So the evening was colder than usual without the etra layer of protection of the tent body. Plus my tent was on a bed of snow. I had trouble sleeping all night, woke up several times at night due to the cold. I went to bad at 10:00, but by 6:00a.m., I was already up.
When I was up, the sky was already bright. I thought from the position of our camp, we would not able to see the sunrise. So I began to prepare breakfast. To my surpirse, the sun rose over the horizon. FIlled the white beach with an orange glow. Another thing I noticed was the tide was much higher this morning. Where we had dinner last night is now under water. Good thing Don decided against sleeping on the beach last night.
We hit the trail again at record time, 8:45a.m., we have 11km ahead of us today, 3 km back to the car, resupply, and 8 km the other way to our next campsite. We made it back to the car in 1hr 20min. Our pace is really beginning to surprise me. And it is not the easiest terrain too. In fact, it is quite challenging.
The sun has almost set now. What a beautiful sight. I'm gonna have to make this quick, because it is going to get cold really fast.
We had lunch by my car, and resupplied. Since the sky is now overcast, and we saw some flurries, we debated whether of not for me to pack my tent body. Don managed to talk me out of it. Maybe his ultralight philosophy is slowly rubbing onto me.
We wet off again at noon. I noticed that Don's pack was even lighter than yesterday, and he's not even wearing boos anymore. That means his pack is at most 20lbs, that a 20lbs difference from my pack. Plus he's more nimble than me since I'm still wearing my boots. I had a had time catching up to him all afternoon, and I racely got a chance to take a break. We arrived at a major landmark, marking the halfway point in this 8km leg, in 1hr 15min. We couldn't believe it. We initially estimated to arrive at camp by 5:00p.m To do half of the journey in just more than 1 hour, UNBELIEVABLE.
I checked the map at least 3 more times, there's no way I could have misread the map, therefore, we are travelling close to 4km/hr. WOW! 2:00p.m. Pain in my knees and my left shoulder. Trying to keep up with Don is taking a toll on me.
My quads could barely support my own weight now, let alone the 40 extra pounds on my back.
3:00p.m., we arrived at a shelter, one more steep descend and we are at the High Dump Campsite. We got the chance to stretch and layer up before the last descend. The break was enough to give me one more push to the finish.
The vescend was really steep and covered with ice. But it was good. The slow pace allow my legs to rest in between steps. And our hiking poles were doing wonders.
We chose a campsite and began to set camp by 4:00p.m. Don and I are sharing a platform tonight. There was no two good campsites in near proximate.
We had plenty of time to set camp, and to wind down. Don took his time to setup his trap. Meanwhile I had my tent up and prepared dinner.
Now that dinner is done, 8:20p.m. the sky is getting dark... and cold hands beginning to set in. Time to settle in, rest those knees and prepare to play catch up with Don again tomorrow.
It is great to take in the nature, and witness God's creation.
God is awesome.
Sunday, March 14
Sunday, February 15
Renew Hopes
"...Forgetting what is behind and straining forward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God have called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
-Phil 3:13b-14
Posted here will be excerpts of my personal journal. Hopefully this will be a way to help me become more transparent to others around me and to God. Whoever stumble across these pages, hope you will pray for me.
So where should I start? After a year filled with heartaches, pains, diappointments, broken promises, and life changing lessons, I was looking forward to a year of renew hopes, new dreams, and new challenges.
Forgetting behind... straining forward.
How do I strain forward? Only by His grace. The worst of the storm have passed, the rainbow is around the corner. Have faith, Joel. It is funny how God have given and taken what I have today. Even I can say last year was the worst year of my life, rock bottom, but I can also say it was my best. It did get me to where I am today. Do I want anything more? Not at all.
FAITH, that what it has been and continue to be, a lesson of faith. He has taken away the security of a job, the comfort of a worldly love, and the rotten nature of my pride. Then He replaced it with my family, friends, and a heart to learn to trust Him. Father, sorry for the past 7 years, trying to tackle this world on my own. I never realized in the meantime You were preparing something so much greater for me. Thanks You, Lord.
Press torward the goal to win the prize...
"...Forgetting what is behind and straining forward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God have called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
-Phil 3:13b-14
Posted here will be excerpts of my personal journal. Hopefully this will be a way to help me become more transparent to others around me and to God. Whoever stumble across these pages, hope you will pray for me.
So where should I start? After a year filled with heartaches, pains, diappointments, broken promises, and life changing lessons, I was looking forward to a year of renew hopes, new dreams, and new challenges.
Forgetting behind... straining forward.
How do I strain forward? Only by His grace. The worst of the storm have passed, the rainbow is around the corner. Have faith, Joel. It is funny how God have given and taken what I have today. Even I can say last year was the worst year of my life, rock bottom, but I can also say it was my best. It did get me to where I am today. Do I want anything more? Not at all.
FAITH, that what it has been and continue to be, a lesson of faith. He has taken away the security of a job, the comfort of a worldly love, and the rotten nature of my pride. Then He replaced it with my family, friends, and a heart to learn to trust Him. Father, sorry for the past 7 years, trying to tackle this world on my own. I never realized in the meantime You were preparing something so much greater for me. Thanks You, Lord.
Press torward the goal to win the prize...
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