Joel the Footnote

Some must have wondered why did I change my MSN name from Joel the Barnacle to Joel the Footnote.

From www.dictionary.com:
foot·note /ˈfʊtˌnoʊt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciati[foot-noht] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, -not·ed, -not·ing. –noun

1.	an explanatory or documenting note or comment at the bottom of a page, referring to a specific part of the text on the page.

2.	a minor or tangential comment or event added or subordinated to a main statement or more important event.

–verb (used with object)

3.	to add a footnote or footnotes to (a text, statement, etc.); annotate: to footnote a dissertation.

Learning from the experience in Urbana, coming back home to be a mobilizer to my congregation. I want the Lord to do great works through the members of my congregation.

He must become greater; I must become less.
~John 3:30

As I am call to disciple God's servants, I don't want them to me like me. Through my ministry, I want my congregation to become like God. I just want to be a minor or tangential comment or event added or subordinated to a main statement or more important event. That more import event is God's story unfolding in their lives. So that I will be forgotten as a mere footnote while the Gospel is glorified.

The Journey... springboarding from Urbana

Learning from my experience in Thailand and Vietnam, I purposely let several weeks past by before composing a reflection on my experience on Urbana 06. Sorry for those who were looking for my thought on Urbana over the past weeks, but I realize that if I wrote something right away it will be mostly hype and emotions. Therefore I took the past few weeks to let the whole Urbana experience sink deep into my core.

As mentioned in Jenny's reflection on Urbana, the two of us had the unexpected yet delightful opportunity to spend the Urbana week together. We were prepared to not see each other through the whole week, but for some reason we ran into each other in the mist of 22,000 people and we had the opportunity to have our daily walk and chat - on what the experience at Urbana means to our relationship. Throughout the week, I also had the opportunity to witness how Jenny works and interact with her fellow student workers. This was refreshing and comforting because through her stay in Toronto she was the one meeting all my friends and family and it was good to see her with her friends and the chance to meet her friends.

Also, being part of the pastoral track and choosing to focusing on mobilization in my seminar selection, I was blessed with wonderful messages and challenges. Okay, by this point you are wondering and questioning: "Joel, what was God's calling for you at Urbana." This is my cope out answer - I realize that God is calling me to mobilize my congregation while waiting for God to lead me to my next step.

That is all I am going to say about "my calling", because I realized that is not the most important thing I got out of Urbana. While I would continue to encourage those in my congregation that was challenged and was called at Urbana, I would also remind them that a calling is a process - a journey. In seeking God's purpose for you, it is not like "BOOM!" and you suddenly know what God has planned for you. And even if you realized God has call you into a ministry, it is rarely you move from "minding your our life" directly into "fully immersed in ministry". Usually it is a gradual process - a process of patience and wrestling.

On realizing this, it made me take a step back. This was exactly what Jenny realized when we were sharing on the drive home from Urbana. Man, that is why I'm falling in love with her! God uses her to challenge me and my ministry. She was able to discern this immediately at the end of Urbana while it took me 3 week. :P

How many times I have heard these words:

• "I wish I can be in China right NOW serving the Lord."
• "I wish I can drop everything I'm doing and serve the Lord."
• "Why cannot our worship at church be better NOW."
• "Why can't I know NOW exactly what God wants me to do."
  

Yes, it is great to get direction from the Lord on where He wants you to be. But IMHO, I do not think that is God's biggest concern. He knows you will get there eventually. What He IS interested in is your journey, how you will wrestle and struggle on this journey, and how you will grow. This is why God rarely waves His magic wand and changes an individual immediately.

To struggle and to wrestle...

"You have a calling..." But in order to "live worthy of your calling" involves wrestling with the Lord and asking Him to bend you and break you so that you will fit into the calling God has for you.

God is interested in growth. But as a church leader we have a tendency to focus too much on facilitating on this growth. Let God worry about the growth. He is the master gardener. :) Learning from Rick Warren at Urbana, we don't have to worry too much about the grow. Just keep you congregation alive. And all living things grow!

On a final note. We are back in Toronto. The youths are back into their normal lives at school. And Jenny is back in Vancouver. I am glad that Jenny is back in Vancouver. This gives us a chance to wrestle with what God has given us.

Struggling with the future

Meeting at church from noon to 9:45p today... but the one thing preoccupied in my mind is my future at this church. Every time I think about it, it is like a knife jab into my heart. The uncertainty, the risks. I know the risks I am taking when I submit to this possible future. But as what Hudson Taylor said, "Unless there's an element of risk in your exploits for God, there is no need for faith."

I am scared, but I am also excited about God's plan for me. And I love the fact that Rev. Lau rather spent his resources on the leadership team than on land and infrastructure. IMHO, we have the best pastor team anywhere, and I am excited to be part of this pastor team. Besides, "Life story triumphs over love story."And just like what I learn over the summer. I make the plans, but God can change it at anytime.

A Change of Heart

Today I spent the whole day at Tyndale: working and meeting up with people. This week is the transition in focus from my summer intern at Logos to my second year at Tyndale. First, I met with Chris, my IT/AV supervisor, to plan for workload and schedule for the coming school year. Praise God, I am schedule for a maximium 20 hours a week of work, not too much to overwhelm me yet enough to help pay for bills. Also my week nights and weekend are still free for church ministries. Thank you, Lord, for Your providence and your grace. Thank you for sustaining my life.

Afterwards, I met with Sonya, the VP of this year's student council. We shared with each other how God has brought us to this point our respective lives. It was during this sharing that a realization dawned on me. In regards to feeling a turning point in my life without any physical changes, from talking and praying with Sonya I realized there was a change. Along with the growth of leadership I mentioned yesterday, there was a change in my heart - or a better way to put it, a confirmation in my heart.

My heart for China. For years I have fought the idea that mom was right about my calling is for China. But after this past mission trip, I cannot denied that anymore. My heart for China has changed... I have fallen in love with China. Therefore, the final three years at Tyndale, my years of service at Logos, my courtship with Jenny, my relationship with my family, it will all point to the plan Christ has for me in China.

"He gives and takes away." This growth process will not be easy, He will pour out His blessings on me and He will take away things that are close to my heart too. Lord, give me the faith to trust in Your perfect plans.

Legacy

This is funny.  Ever since my sermon on Abraham last Sunday, I have heard 2 more sermons on Abraham.  Jokingly, I've been saying that God must have thought my sermon sucked, so this is HOW is should haven't been done.  Maybe.  Well, I know there is still a lot I have to learn, so it was helpful to hear other's preach on the same topic while my sermon is still fresh on my mind.

Or another reason is God has something very important I need to learn...

A question that echoed on my mind while I was in Hong Kong was "What sort of legacy do I want to leave?"  My first reaction was a quote I learned during the mission trip.

"Live so thatyou will be forgotten, and Christ will be remembered."
~Dixon Hoste

"What is my passion?"  God turns passion and vision into a legacy.

I want to see God's Word be proclaimed in the ends of the earth.  To do so my raising up a generation of young people to proclaim His Word.  Yet, God challenged me even further, along with a promise.  God is definately building my character to be fit for His plan.  Yet, what God said to my on Wednesday night was that I am only one servent, just like Abraham was only one person.  However, Abraham became the father of nations.  And he is MY father, my spiritual father.  And God is nudging me to follow Abraham example. 

I've always jokingly say that I want enough kids to field a soccer team, but now the soccer team does not excite me as much as a team of missionaries.  Just like how Abraham set an example for Isaac during his trial from God, I pray that God will begin to equip me to be a father that will encourage my future kids to carry God's Words to the end of the earth. 

That is the legacy I want to leave...