"Nothing should be forced, and that the first month of involvement had made me aware of my weaknesses and could now help me to rearrange my life... In a sense, you fall apart, you regress, but it is also there that you become available for spiritual direction and can find a place for prayer and ascetical life."
~Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Genesee Diary (pg 60, 61)
I feel exactly how Henri Nouwen during his stay at the Trappist Monastery. 6 months in seminary, I feel God has brought the best and worst out of me. And it is my worst that I need to be aware of. I have fallen apart, cried out to God in the middle of the night, and yet God prepared my soul for spiritual direction. It is until this week that I made mends with the people in the office. Patched up relationships that I let slip over the last few months. Most importantly, finally understanding my breaking point.
There is still a lot of work to be done. Parts of me will still need to be broken down and be reshape by God's hands. It will hurt, but what matters is that God is shaping me into who He wants me to be.
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