With the coming of the New Year, we cannot help but to reflect on the year that was. Through this process, we try to gain the big picture of what God is doing in our lives. Last week, I had a conversation with Jenny as we listened to the radio as the news program recounts the major news events of 2011. We commented how refreshing it is to go through a year in review, however when it comes to reviewing our lives over the past year it is a hard and difficult process. We are used to having everything digested for us, but when it comes to reflecting on our own lives it is an unnatural and difficult process.
It is also the reason why I found it difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into words over on this blog over the past few months. On one hand I was caught up with the busyness of family and ministry I did not carve time to write. On the other hand I was actually afraid of what I'll end up writing.
In summary, 2011 was a tough year. Tough not in the sense of what most can see on the surface, but due to many little events and experiences just hidden from sight.
Family-wise, Jenny and I have many blessings to count. Jenny puts it best when she said "this being the 3rd year of our marriage, it is just the beginning of our honeymoon." We can see God's blessings terms of our relationship in my parents, with the providence of the Lord, and with the moving of the Spirit in guiding our lives. However, there are other things they we are enduring together over the pass few months (things that I will not share at this time) that is stretching our faith in the Lord in His timing and His plan. And come to think about it now, this is wearing me down emotionally over the past few months.
Ministry-wise, heading into my 3rd year of full-time ministry have its challenges. Many pastors will say that your 3rd year of your ministry at a particular post is the beginning of your ministry. I could not agree more. This year I got to see God moving and raising up leaders from within the ministry. Yes, there are other areas where we are still seeking God for direction and breakthrough, but the greatest challenge came from learning to live life as a minister and the baggage that accumulates over time.
Personal-wise, praise God for helping me rediscover the joy in reading the Bible. For the first time since seminary, the Bible does not feel like a textbook but rather a fun read. However this year was also an emotional roller-coaster, though not for any obvious reason. My first bout with the blues was back in March, and it seems like it will come back every other month in increasing frequency. What I'm learning this year is to identify these issues with my soul and address them.
It is amazing how the Lord chooses these jars of clay (broken jars) to carry out His work. Here we are frail creatures of dust, mere mortals, given life by the Holy Spirit, and called to be overseers of the church which Christ purchased with his own blood. The pressure of this calling is tremendous, but yet it is a humbling call. I had stated in the beginning of the year that I am "a Follower of God, a Husband, and a Pastor. (In that order)". However this year had taught me that if I try to do these three things by my own efforts I am doomed to fail. Under my own strength, if I try to love God, love my wife, and love the church, there will be conflict of interests, and that stress eventually worn me down. It is only by God's love, seeing the world through God's eye, is how I can love God, love my wife and love the church all at the same time.
According to Hamlet and Yoda,
"To be or not to be... there is no try."
There's no trying in love. You are either being God's love, or NOT being God's love.
Another key lesson is to be attentive to my soul. "What is God doing in my life through the good and tough times?" And when I'm in a rout, being attentive to the help and support God has placed around me. I am going to saying out loud of the first time. I am going through depression. No clinical depression per say, but pastoral depression. Maybe because of my happy-go-lucky personality, I had tried to sweep quickly address its symptoms back in March, but it is much more deeply rooted. I am beginning to see that this is a common issue for pastors, and I do pray that we will find the courage to not to deal with this alone in the dark. Personally I am making plans to seek professional help at the end of this Christmas break.
When we planted our church, building on Rev Lau's Connecting Spirituality, we wanted to raise a spirituality that connects with the deepest core in our lives. And when we dig deep into our lives and come face to face with these skeletons in the closest, through the leading of the Holy Spirit the church will provide an environment where we can begin our recovery process. So I guess this is my first step...
My name is Joel Tang. I am living face to face with pastoral depression. However, my life has been purchased by the blood of Jesus and being made renewed by the Holy Spirit...
Friday, December 30
Thursday, September 22
Panama English Camp 2011 Reflection
Panama English Camp 2011 STM
Date: Sept 9 - 18, 2011
Members: Ontario Team (Jacqueline, Joel L, Pascal & myself), Houston Team (Wilson, Cindy, Clarissa, Jessica, Jeff, Joe, & Paul)
What I told my team before heading down to Panama was this: "We are going to stay at a resort to teach English to the youths in Panama mainly by speaking English to them." And that is exactly what we did, but boy it turned out to be one of the longest weeks in our lives. I remembered midway through the camp, Pascal came up to me and said "building a house in Mexico will be so much easier than this." Later when I asked the team if they would come back and do it all over again, I got a resounding "YES".
How would I sum up the trip?
The one word I would use to describe my experience is that I have "aged". I have aged not because of the intensity of the camp. Yes, the camp was a challenge for many of us: for Jacqueline and I, it was the first time we had to come up with a lesson plan to teach English. For Joel Lau, though he has experience with writing scripts and working with youths, this is his fist mission trip. And for Pascal, not only this is his first mission trip, he has never worked with youths before. All in all, we are all out of our comfort zone. Along with the long camp schedule, 7:00am - 1:00am, it took a toll on our bodies. So in the physical sense, yes, we have "aged".
For me, I felt that I have aged spiritually. Not only because It was my first time leading a STM team, being challenged to come up with a fellowship program on the fly, or even preaching in both English and Chinese in one morning. God opened my eyes at one point during the camp, showing me how much He loved the next-generation.
Before arriving at camp, Pastor Nick has informed us that there was a kidnapping. The youth that was kidnapped was suppose to attending the camp. However, he insisted that the 2 cousins of kidnapped victim continue to come to camp as planned, for it is better for them to be at camp rather than staying at home. So we know of the two youths but we did not know the identity of the youths.
On Friday during breakfast, Jessica informed me that the police found the body of the kidnapped youth. I did not know how to react to the news, so I went to the admin table (a quiet place with all the kids in the breakfast hall) to collect myself and prepare for the rest of the day. All of a sudden a youth came up to me, said "Thank you, pastor", and gave me a hug. My first thought was, what great kids. Then it hit me, he came to me to say goodbye before going with his family because of the news. I ran up to him and told him to "be strong and courageous" (from our memory verses) and said I'll continue to pray for him.
News article of the kidnapping
I sat back down, looked up at the camp scoreboards which meant absolutely nothing at this point, and wept.
I "aged" because I was standing at the crossroad of innocence and evilness -- the innocence of the youth meets the evilness of the world. I ran to Wilson, because he is about to lead worship and give the message that morning, to check to see if he's okay. He said, "I'm holding it together for the kids." For the kids. This is why we are in Panama - for the kids - to help raise a generation of youth in Panama for the glory of God.
Over the next few day, while the rest of the team can relax after the conclusion of the camp, in stillness I was trying to tune into the moving of the Holy Spirit of God. At the Daniel fellowship, God lead me to address why these things happened through the Bible Study of the "Men who was born blind". Also for the Sunday message I was led to speak on how God gives us peace when we pursue to see Him.
We are still witnessing the effects of the news of the pass week. But God has rally the Chinese community and the church community in Panama together. He is doing something. And I wait with great expectation to see what God is doing in Panama.
The STM did not end when we came back to Canada. Back in Canada, I spoke to several of the youth who committed to serve the Lord in full time ministry that I'll keep them accountable to their committments. May God raise up a generation of youth in Panama to serve the local ministry.
Date: Sept 9 - 18, 2011
Members: Ontario Team (Jacqueline, Joel L, Pascal & myself), Houston Team (Wilson, Cindy, Clarissa, Jessica, Jeff, Joe, & Paul)
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| EC 2011 STM |
How would I sum up the trip?
The one word I would use to describe my experience is that I have "aged". I have aged not because of the intensity of the camp. Yes, the camp was a challenge for many of us: for Jacqueline and I, it was the first time we had to come up with a lesson plan to teach English. For Joel Lau, though he has experience with writing scripts and working with youths, this is his fist mission trip. And for Pascal, not only this is his first mission trip, he has never worked with youths before. All in all, we are all out of our comfort zone. Along with the long camp schedule, 7:00am - 1:00am, it took a toll on our bodies. So in the physical sense, yes, we have "aged".
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| EC2011 - Dare 2 Be |
Before arriving at camp, Pastor Nick has informed us that there was a kidnapping. The youth that was kidnapped was suppose to attending the camp. However, he insisted that the 2 cousins of kidnapped victim continue to come to camp as planned, for it is better for them to be at camp rather than staying at home. So we know of the two youths but we did not know the identity of the youths.
On Friday during breakfast, Jessica informed me that the police found the body of the kidnapped youth. I did not know how to react to the news, so I went to the admin table (a quiet place with all the kids in the breakfast hall) to collect myself and prepare for the rest of the day. All of a sudden a youth came up to me, said "Thank you, pastor", and gave me a hug. My first thought was, what great kids. Then it hit me, he came to me to say goodbye before going with his family because of the news. I ran up to him and told him to "be strong and courageous" (from our memory verses) and said I'll continue to pray for him.
News article of the kidnapping
I sat back down, looked up at the camp scoreboards which meant absolutely nothing at this point, and wept.
I "aged" because I was standing at the crossroad of innocence and evilness -- the innocence of the youth meets the evilness of the world. I ran to Wilson, because he is about to lead worship and give the message that morning, to check to see if he's okay. He said, "I'm holding it together for the kids." For the kids. This is why we are in Panama - for the kids - to help raise a generation of youth in Panama for the glory of God.
Over the next few day, while the rest of the team can relax after the conclusion of the camp, in stillness I was trying to tune into the moving of the Holy Spirit of God. At the Daniel fellowship, God lead me to address why these things happened through the Bible Study of the "Men who was born blind". Also for the Sunday message I was led to speak on how God gives us peace when we pursue to see Him.
We are still witnessing the effects of the news of the pass week. But God has rally the Chinese community and the church community in Panama together. He is doing something. And I wait with great expectation to see what God is doing in Panama.
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| Memorial March for the victims |
Wednesday, July 13
Wedding: Bekka + Toby
On Saturday, Brian and I had the privilege to shoot Rebekka and Toby's wedding at the beautiful Hebron Christian Reformed Church in Whitby. I love the beautiful organ at the front of the church. Here is a preview of some of the photos from that day:
The day began at the "Pre-Wedding House of Mayhem". Bekka, the bridesmaids and family were a joy to work with. Brian was hanging out with Toby and the groomsmen as they enjoy the beautiful Saturday morning.
One of my favorite moment of the day was when the ring-bearers decided to have a pillow fight as they walked down the aisle.
The moment everyone was waiting for - especially Toby (just look at his reaction).
It was a beautiful wedding for the lovely couple. Wishing them a life time of love, happiness and blessings from the Lord!
Tuesday, June 14
A Spectacular Ride - Thank You!!!
Thank you so much for all you love, support, prayers, encouragements and generous donations toward the Ride to Conquer over the past weekend. Total of 4610 raised a Canadian record of $17.5 million for Princess Margaret for cancer research. This would not have been possible without you.
Over the weekend we were blessed with beautiful riding weather. Praise the Lord for holding the rain back. Jenny and I even got a sunburn during the ride. The ride came with its share of challenges - the rolling hills and the climb up to Niagara Escapement on Sideroad 1 in Burlington just before lunch on Day 1 proved to be taxing. However, praise God for strength and a second wind up the more grueling 4km climb up Hamilton Mountain. Jenny also found strength up the climbs, however it was her hay fever on Day 2 that made her ride difficult. I am proud of Jenny for fighting through her constant runny nose and clogged sinuses. All in all, what we endured is nothing compared to the families who had to face cancer. Thanks again for all your support as you were the wind behind our backs as we rode.
Attached is a video highlight of the ride this year. I look forward to partner with you all again next year, I even encourage you to consider sharing the road together on the Ride next year.
http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/joel
Blessings,
Joel
Over the weekend we were blessed with beautiful riding weather. Praise the Lord for holding the rain back. Jenny and I even got a sunburn during the ride. The ride came with its share of challenges - the rolling hills and the climb up to Niagara Escapement on Sideroad 1 in Burlington just before lunch on Day 1 proved to be taxing. However, praise God for strength and a second wind up the more grueling 4km climb up Hamilton Mountain. Jenny also found strength up the climbs, however it was her hay fever on Day 2 that made her ride difficult. I am proud of Jenny for fighting through her constant runny nose and clogged sinuses. All in all, what we endured is nothing compared to the families who had to face cancer. Thanks again for all your support as you were the wind behind our backs as we rode.
Attached is a video highlight of the ride this year. I look forward to partner with you all again next year, I even encourage you to consider sharing the road together on the Ride next year.
http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/joel
Blessings,
Joel
Friday, March 25
Zero Self Confidence
Been feeling frazzled over the past two days. So frazzled that I don't know why tears keep flowing. So frazzled that i didn't feel well enough to drive. That why getting the speeding ticket this morning feels like getting kick while lying on the ground. Lost in thought while driving made me lose track of my speed. I'm not upset from the ticket, I deserved it and I should have been more careful. What bothers me it that while all these things are happening, while I'm seeking a time of healing, all I can think of is "How can this be a sermon illustration?"
I am angry at myself for thinking this way. I am having an internal conflict where a voice (mainly from feedback and comments) tells me that "Joel, you need to show more vulnerability in your sermon" while I am screaming inside "I need a time of healing". But what if there's no time to heal? I need to pick myself up and "work" tonight for fellowship.
Thank you for everyone who had pray for me in my time of need. I can finally narrow down the reason for feeling frazzle is because I am low in self confidence. So low in confidence that all I can think of is how I can do my job better. I know in pastoral leadership we are not seeking earthly praise, and criticisms and grumblings comes with the job (see Moses' leadership of the Israelite out of Egypt). But if you are reading this and I am not your pastor, simply say a word of thanks to your pastor, it can lift him/her up in encouragement.
I the midst of zero self confidence, thank you Lord for your steadfast love. While I was looking for words of encouragements in Psalms 78 (that God CHOSE us because he made us competent do His task [v70-72]), my memory failed me and I turned to Psalms 57 instead. I love it when God drop nuggets of Bible gold out of nowhere.
I am angry at myself for thinking this way. I am having an internal conflict where a voice (mainly from feedback and comments) tells me that "Joel, you need to show more vulnerability in your sermon" while I am screaming inside "I need a time of healing". But what if there's no time to heal? I need to pick myself up and "work" tonight for fellowship.
Thank you for everyone who had pray for me in my time of need. I can finally narrow down the reason for feeling frazzle is because I am low in self confidence. So low in confidence that all I can think of is how I can do my job better. I know in pastoral leadership we are not seeking earthly praise, and criticisms and grumblings comes with the job (see Moses' leadership of the Israelite out of Egypt). But if you are reading this and I am not your pastor, simply say a word of thanks to your pastor, it can lift him/her up in encouragement.
I the midst of zero self confidence, thank you Lord for your steadfast love. While I was looking for words of encouragements in Psalms 78 (that God CHOSE us because he made us competent do His task [v70-72]), my memory failed me and I turned to Psalms 57 instead. I love it when God drop nuggets of Bible gold out of nowhere.
2 I cry out to God Most High,Time to wake up, Joel. The Lord is mighty in battle you can find refuge in Him. Wake up, and sing!
to God, who vindicates me.
3 He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me—
God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.
4 I am in the midst of lions;
I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.
5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
6 They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.
7 My heart, O God, is steadfast,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
8 Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
~Psalms 57:2-8
Wednesday, March 23
Another Sleepless Night - Reflecting on the Concept of "Being Content"
Woke up an hour ago from a nightmare. Was being chased down lecture halls by two of my university classmates. Actually it was not a scary dream but it got my heart racing so much that even after 2 glasses of honey lemon water I still cannot fall back to sleep. I feel bad for disturbing Jenny as she sleeps.
Actually I don't think it is because of the nightmare that I cannot go back to sleep. It is probably due to all the nuggets of thoughts I needed to flush out of my mind. It has been also 2 weeks since I organized my thoughts and my reflections. This might help me sleep...
No, this will not be a Teens Conference reflection, I'm not ready for that yet. And sorry, I will not be translating this posting - at least not tonight.
This chain for thought began from a Bible Study in Panama. How do we know we are content (知足)? My answer to that question was "when you know this is exactly where God wants you to be". And this is the attitude Jenny and I embraced ever since we were married, "seeking God's will to find out exactly were He wants us to be" - whether this is a physical location, our place in ministry, our financial situation, and etc. We are content with everything we have, furthermore, we feel extremely blessed with everything God provided for us and the position He has placed us. Of course there is always temptations such as Jenny wanting a Blackberry or myself looking at camera equipment. But we are extremely blessed with what we have.
Ministry wise, we praise God for giving Jenny a job that perfectly complement my pastoral ministry. 9 to 5 in a convenient location, this allows me to prep during the day and give me the chance to pick her up from work and have dinner before any evening meetings. We could not ask for anything better.
However, what challenged me over the past few weeks - and especially after walking out of the Kin Village meeting today - is that while we should be content materialistically, we should never be content spiritually. I've realized the whole idea of being content has lead me to want just the status-quo spiritually. Walking out of the Kin Village meeting today made me realized that there's so much more to do in our communities - to love our neighbours. We if we operate our ministries under status-quo our priorities will merely be looking out for ourselves. However, God calls us to be the salt and light to the world, and we should not be just content and hide under a bowl.
Being content in our earthly needs, being relentless in Kingdom matters.
Yet in contrast, there is another troubling matter in my mind walking out of the Kin Village meeting today. We have lost another pastor due to burnt out... Churches, how many spiritual leaders you want to chew up and spit out completely burnt out several years down the road? Yes, we are to obey our Sabbath and find ways to feed ourselves spiritually. Will you please learn to feed yourself spiritually too instead of having the church leaders spoon feed you every Sunday? I don't know about you, but I like to eat every day. But apparently some people are completely okay with eats on only Sundays, and that's only if they are spoon fed. I am sorry for being harsh, but I find many are instead "content in Kingdom matters, and relentless in earthly needs."
My job is to teach you how to feed yourself spiritually, and to bring the Gospel to our neighbours. Maybe you didn't get the memo, but I think that is your job too.
Actually I don't think it is because of the nightmare that I cannot go back to sleep. It is probably due to all the nuggets of thoughts I needed to flush out of my mind. It has been also 2 weeks since I organized my thoughts and my reflections. This might help me sleep...
No, this will not be a Teens Conference reflection, I'm not ready for that yet. And sorry, I will not be translating this posting - at least not tonight.
This chain for thought began from a Bible Study in Panama. How do we know we are content (知足)? My answer to that question was "when you know this is exactly where God wants you to be". And this is the attitude Jenny and I embraced ever since we were married, "seeking God's will to find out exactly were He wants us to be" - whether this is a physical location, our place in ministry, our financial situation, and etc. We are content with everything we have, furthermore, we feel extremely blessed with everything God provided for us and the position He has placed us. Of course there is always temptations such as Jenny wanting a Blackberry or myself looking at camera equipment. But we are extremely blessed with what we have.
Ministry wise, we praise God for giving Jenny a job that perfectly complement my pastoral ministry. 9 to 5 in a convenient location, this allows me to prep during the day and give me the chance to pick her up from work and have dinner before any evening meetings. We could not ask for anything better.
However, what challenged me over the past few weeks - and especially after walking out of the Kin Village meeting today - is that while we should be content materialistically, we should never be content spiritually. I've realized the whole idea of being content has lead me to want just the status-quo spiritually. Walking out of the Kin Village meeting today made me realized that there's so much more to do in our communities - to love our neighbours. We if we operate our ministries under status-quo our priorities will merely be looking out for ourselves. However, God calls us to be the salt and light to the world, and we should not be just content and hide under a bowl.
Being content in our earthly needs, being relentless in Kingdom matters.
Yet in contrast, there is another troubling matter in my mind walking out of the Kin Village meeting today. We have lost another pastor due to burnt out... Churches, how many spiritual leaders you want to chew up and spit out completely burnt out several years down the road? Yes, we are to obey our Sabbath and find ways to feed ourselves spiritually. Will you please learn to feed yourself spiritually too instead of having the church leaders spoon feed you every Sunday? I don't know about you, but I like to eat every day. But apparently some people are completely okay with eats on only Sundays, and that's only if they are spoon fed. I am sorry for being harsh, but I find many are instead "content in Kingdom matters, and relentless in earthly needs."
My job is to teach you how to feed yourself spiritually, and to bring the Gospel to our neighbours. Maybe you didn't get the memo, but I think that is your job too.
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.Good night.
~ Matthew 28:19, 20
Friday, March 11
The Temptation of Jonah // 約拿的誘惑
"Why don't you just run like Jonah?" This was the comment given to me when I told one of my previous pastor that I was entering full-time ministry. I thought he was joking at the time because he is like that, but I begin to realize this was a wise warning from a wise pastor. The temptation of Jonah has been very real ever since I've entered ministry.
"你點解唔好似約拿噉走路呀？"當我講畀我久陣時一個傳道人聽我將會踏入全職奉獻，呢個就係佢畀我嘅答案。講笑搵第樣呀！但是我開始明白呢個係一個好有智慧嘅注意。從我成為傳道人的一刻，約拿的誘惑係一樣好真呢事。
In Numa, we've just wrapped up our Bible Study in the book of Jonah. It was refreshing to have the high school students lead the study, and I have gain many new insights from the book of Jonah. One very genuine comment came from one of the students, "Why follow the calling of God, life seems so hard serving the Lord!" Why should we be obedient to God's calling? It is because we are afraid of being swallowed by a fish? Of afraid of being zapped by lightning? Funny enough, this was the response I jokingly gave to by old pastor. But in reality, are we to be obedient because we fear the Lord to punish us if we don't? What does this say about our motivations?
我哋中學生團契啱啱查經查完約拿書。我好心見到哋年青人帶查經，我學到好多乜。有一個學生講咗一句真心話，"如果跟神係咁辛苦，點解我哋要聽神嘅呼召？"點解我哋要聽神嘅呼召？係唔係我哋嚇俾魚吞？係唔係嚇俾雷劈？我哋係唔係聽神話因為我哋嚇俾神懲罰！
Frankly speaking, serving the Lord is a very difficult life. Constantly being in the cross-hairs of others expectations. 70-80 hours weeks, and people still expects more. Financially, I could be making two to three times as much as an engineer. To tell you the truth, at least every other day, the thought of running like Jonah would pop up in my mind - to quit ministry or to quit life all together. Woah! You may ask how can a pastor say this sort of things. But I can be sure that many ministers are under this kind of pressure daily and have thought about thought about these things. Thank God for Jenny to keep my sanity in check.
我都講一句真心話啊，服事真係好辛苦。時時畀人哋睇住，每個禮拜做完70-80個鐘人哋用好高嘅期望話唔滿意。如果用錢嘅角度嚟講我可以返轉頭做個電子工程師搵多兩三倍嘅錢。"你點解唔好似約拿噉走路呀？"我其實每兩三曰都有咁諗吓-好似約拿噉走路或者向世界說再見。嘩，你可能話傳道人點可以怎樣講嘢㗎！但是我好肯定好多傳道人經過呢啲壓力都會咁諗果。我感謝神我有太太因此我唔會做儍嘢。
But why haven't I ran like Jonah? Is it because I am afraid of God's wrath? The lesson I learn from Jonah this time around us that even though Jonah acted as though he had repented in the belly of the fish, I do not believe he truly repented. He had a sense of entitlement that if he was to "obey" God and speak to the people of Nineveh the God owes him a favor and destroy the city. That's why he got front row seats to watch the destruction of the city. And he was so angry about the worm that ate the vine because he felt that he was God's servant and he is entitle to the shade.
我點解未好似約拿噉走路？係唔係我嚇俾神懲罰？我從約拿書學到嘅一樣嘢係就算約拿喺魚肚裡面有悔改，我唔信佢真係有真心悔改。如果係約拿都唔會擔定凳仔擺頭位嚟睇神毀滅尼尼微啦！佢覺得神應該毀滅尼尼微因為佢聽神嘅話。佢覺得佢應該有蓖麻遮蔭。
This is the part the scares me. As a minister, do I also have a sense of entitlement that God owes me something? God does not owe us anything! The story in the book of Jonah is not just about God's redemptive act and grace to the people of Nineveh, it is also about God's redemptive act and grace in the live of Jonah. The reason God calls Jonah is because he was interested in the growth of Jonah. Why should we obey God's calling - and this is not limited to "full-time" calling, but includes His calling for us to live out lives as children of God - is because God is interested in each one of us. And through his calling he puts us in the best condition for growth.
我就係嚇呢樣嘢。我奉獻神會唔會覺得神爭我嘢呢？神乜嘢都唔爭我哋！約拿書唔只講神對尼尼微嘅救贖行為和恩典，這也是講神對約拿嘅救贖行為和恩典。神有興趣見約拿成長，所以神呼召約拿。點解我哋要聽神嘅呼召？因為神有興趣見我哋成長。神把我哋放入最佳嘅環境所以我哋可以成長。
But why haven't I ran like Jonah? Because I know this is exactly where God wants me to be.
我點解未好似約拿噉走路？因為我知道神想我喺呢度！
"你點解唔好似約拿噉走路呀？"當我講畀我久陣時一個傳道人聽我將會踏入全職奉獻，呢個就係佢畀我嘅答案。講笑搵第樣呀！但是我開始明白呢個係一個好有智慧嘅注意。從我成為傳道人的一刻，約拿的誘惑係一樣好真呢事。
In Numa, we've just wrapped up our Bible Study in the book of Jonah. It was refreshing to have the high school students lead the study, and I have gain many new insights from the book of Jonah. One very genuine comment came from one of the students, "Why follow the calling of God, life seems so hard serving the Lord!" Why should we be obedient to God's calling? It is because we are afraid of being swallowed by a fish? Of afraid of being zapped by lightning? Funny enough, this was the response I jokingly gave to by old pastor. But in reality, are we to be obedient because we fear the Lord to punish us if we don't? What does this say about our motivations?
我哋中學生團契啱啱查經查完約拿書。我好心見到哋年青人帶查經，我學到好多乜。有一個學生講咗一句真心話，"如果跟神係咁辛苦，點解我哋要聽神嘅呼召？"點解我哋要聽神嘅呼召？係唔係我哋嚇俾魚吞？係唔係嚇俾雷劈？我哋係唔係聽神話因為我哋嚇俾神懲罰！
Frankly speaking, serving the Lord is a very difficult life. Constantly being in the cross-hairs of others expectations. 70-80 hours weeks, and people still expects more. Financially, I could be making two to three times as much as an engineer. To tell you the truth, at least every other day, the thought of running like Jonah would pop up in my mind - to quit ministry or to quit life all together. Woah! You may ask how can a pastor say this sort of things. But I can be sure that many ministers are under this kind of pressure daily and have thought about thought about these things. Thank God for Jenny to keep my sanity in check.
我都講一句真心話啊，服事真係好辛苦。時時畀人哋睇住，每個禮拜做完70-80個鐘人哋用好高嘅期望話唔滿意。如果用錢嘅角度嚟講我可以返轉頭做個電子工程師搵多兩三倍嘅錢。"你點解唔好似約拿噉走路呀？"我其實每兩三曰都有咁諗吓-好似約拿噉走路或者向世界說再見。嘩，你可能話傳道人點可以怎樣講嘢㗎！但是我好肯定好多傳道人經過呢啲壓力都會咁諗果。我感謝神我有太太因此我唔會做儍嘢。
But why haven't I ran like Jonah? Is it because I am afraid of God's wrath? The lesson I learn from Jonah this time around us that even though Jonah acted as though he had repented in the belly of the fish, I do not believe he truly repented. He had a sense of entitlement that if he was to "obey" God and speak to the people of Nineveh the God owes him a favor and destroy the city. That's why he got front row seats to watch the destruction of the city. And he was so angry about the worm that ate the vine because he felt that he was God's servant and he is entitle to the shade.
我點解未好似約拿噉走路？係唔係我嚇俾神懲罰？我從約拿書學到嘅一樣嘢係就算約拿喺魚肚裡面有悔改，我唔信佢真係有真心悔改。如果係約拿都唔會擔定凳仔擺頭位嚟睇神毀滅尼尼微啦！佢覺得神應該毀滅尼尼微因為佢聽神嘅話。佢覺得佢應該有蓖麻遮蔭。
This is the part the scares me. As a minister, do I also have a sense of entitlement that God owes me something? God does not owe us anything! The story in the book of Jonah is not just about God's redemptive act and grace to the people of Nineveh, it is also about God's redemptive act and grace in the live of Jonah. The reason God calls Jonah is because he was interested in the growth of Jonah. Why should we obey God's calling - and this is not limited to "full-time" calling, but includes His calling for us to live out lives as children of God - is because God is interested in each one of us. And through his calling he puts us in the best condition for growth.
我就係嚇呢樣嘢。我奉獻神會唔會覺得神爭我嘢呢？神乜嘢都唔爭我哋！約拿書唔只講神對尼尼微嘅救贖行為和恩典，這也是講神對約拿嘅救贖行為和恩典。神有興趣見約拿成長，所以神呼召約拿。點解我哋要聽神嘅呼召？因為神有興趣見我哋成長。神把我哋放入最佳嘅環境所以我哋可以成長。
But why haven't I ran like Jonah? Because I know this is exactly where God wants me to be.
我點解未好似約拿噉走路？因為我知道神想我喺呢度！
Thursday, March 10
Psalm 91 // 詩篇91
My second favorite Psalm, Psalms 91, also know as the Evening Prayer, is my prayer right now.
我第二喜歡的詩篇，第91章，是我今日的祈禱。
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
~Psalms 91
1 住在至高者隱密處的， 必住在全能者的蔭下。
2 我要論到耶和華說： 他是我的避難所， 是我的山寨， 是我的神， 是我所倚靠的。
3 他必救你脫離捕鳥人的網羅和毒害的瘟疫。
4 他必用自己的翎毛遮蔽你； 你要投靠在他的翅膀底下； 他的誠實是大小的盾牌。
5 你必不怕黑夜的驚駭， 或是白日飛的箭，
6 也不怕黑夜行的瘟疫， 或是午間滅人的毒病。
7 雖有千人仆倒在你旁邊， 萬人仆倒在你右邊， 這災卻不得臨近你。
8 你惟親眼觀看， 見惡人遭報。
9 耶和華是我的避難所； 你已將至高者當你的居所，
10 禍患必不臨到你， 災害也不挨近你的帳棚。
11 因他要為你吩咐他的使者， 在你行的一切道路上保護你。
12 他們要用手托著你， 免得你的腳碰在石頭上。
13 你要踹在獅子和虺蛇的身上， 踐踏少壯獅子和大蛇。
14 神說： 因為他專心愛我， 我就要搭救他； 因為他知道我的名， 我要把他安置在高處。
15 他若求告我， 我就應允他； 他在急難中， 我要與他同在； 我要搭救他， 使他尊貴。
16 我要使他足享長壽， 將我的救恩顯明給他
詩篇91章
The devil can fire all his arrows or send his pestilence, I HAVE THE LORD, MY REFUGE!
魔鬼可以射佢嘅飛箭或放佢嘅瘟疫，耶和華是我的主和我的避難所！
我第二喜歡的詩篇，第91章，是我今日的祈禱。
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
~Psalms 91
1 住在至高者隱密處的， 必住在全能者的蔭下。
2 我要論到耶和華說： 他是我的避難所， 是我的山寨， 是我的神， 是我所倚靠的。
3 他必救你脫離捕鳥人的網羅和毒害的瘟疫。
4 他必用自己的翎毛遮蔽你； 你要投靠在他的翅膀底下； 他的誠實是大小的盾牌。
5 你必不怕黑夜的驚駭， 或是白日飛的箭，
6 也不怕黑夜行的瘟疫， 或是午間滅人的毒病。
7 雖有千人仆倒在你旁邊， 萬人仆倒在你右邊， 這災卻不得臨近你。
8 你惟親眼觀看， 見惡人遭報。
9 耶和華是我的避難所； 你已將至高者當你的居所，
10 禍患必不臨到你， 災害也不挨近你的帳棚。
11 因他要為你吩咐他的使者， 在你行的一切道路上保護你。
12 他們要用手托著你， 免得你的腳碰在石頭上。
13 你要踹在獅子和虺蛇的身上， 踐踏少壯獅子和大蛇。
14 神說： 因為他專心愛我， 我就要搭救他； 因為他知道我的名， 我要把他安置在高處。
15 他若求告我， 我就應允他； 他在急難中， 我要與他同在； 我要搭救他， 使他尊貴。
16 我要使他足享長壽， 將我的救恩顯明給他
詩篇91章
The devil can fire all his arrows or send his pestilence, I HAVE THE LORD, MY REFUGE!
魔鬼可以射佢嘅飛箭或放佢嘅瘟疫，耶和華是我的主和我的避難所！
Tuesday, March 8
Son of Encouragement // 勸慰子
Barnabas (which means “son of encouragement”)After preaching in Acts 9 this past Sunday, I am reminded of all the Barnabas(es) in my life. These Barnabas(es) encouraged me by (1)giving, (2)showing me grace, (3)serving and (4)developed me. I was so moved in the sermon that I could barely continue with my sermon. During and after which, by God's grace, he surrounded me with encouragements. And with God's perfect timing, this story of John Stott come in my email from PreachingToday.com:
Acts 4:36
巴拿巴翻出來就是勸慰子
使徒行傳 4:36
我禮拜日講道嘅時候，神用使徒行傳第九章嚟提我我有好多個巴拿巴呢度鼓勵我。我講道嘅時候感動度爭啲講唔道乜。但係因為神的恩典，鼓勵我。同埋神嘅計劃好奇妙，我琴日收到啲個有關約翰·斯托得嘅電郵：
John Stott shares the following story from 1958 when he was leading a university outreach in Sydney, Australia. The day before the final meeting, Stott received word that his father had passed away. In addition to his grief, Stott was also starting to lose his voice. Here's how Stott describes the final day of the outreach:
It was already late afternoon within a few hours of the final meeting of the mission, so I didn't feel I could back away at that time. I went to the great hall and asked a few students to gather round me. I asked one of them to read … "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness," (2 Corinthians 12:8-9). A student read these verses and then I asked them to lay hands on me and … pray that those verses might be true in my own experience.Stott concludes, "The Holy Spirit takes our human words, spoken in great weakness and frailty, and he carries them home with power to the mind, the heart, the conscience, and the will of the hearers in such a way that they see and believe."
When time came for me to give my address, I preached on the [broad and narrow ways from Matthew 7]. I had to get within half an inch of the microphone, and I croaked the gospel like a raven. I couldn't exert my personality. I couldn't move. I couldn't use any inflections in my voice. I croaked the gospel in monotone. Then when the time came to give the invitation, there was an immediate response, larger than any other meeting during the mission, as students came flocking forward …
I've been back to Australia about ten times since 1958, and on every occasion somebody has come up to me and said, "Do you remember that final meeting in the university in the great hall?" "I jolly well do," I reply. "Well," they say, "I was converted that night."
Friday, March 4
Love Coloured Glasses // 用愛睇人
Coming back from Panama, walking through the airport of Pearson Terminal 1, I was bombarded by some of my favorite HSBC ads.
喺巴拿馬返嚟經過機場我見倒好多我最喜歡嘅匯豐銀行廣告。
What is our perspective of the things around us? Our perspective changes our decision making process; it changes the way we handle a situation; it changes the way we treat other people. Yesterday I came across an article on the winner of the TED Prize 2011, JR, and how he used his passion in photography to change the perspective of people around the world...
我哋睇呢個世界嘅觀念喺乜嘢呢？我哋點睇世界會改變我哋點揸弗。我哋點睇世界會改變我哋點面對大家。噚曰我睇報紙見倒2011年TED獎嘅得獎人、JR。佢用佢最喜歡嘅興趣、攝影、嚟改變人嘅世界觀...
How do we see people? Man, when you see an attractive women, do you see her as an object of lust or as someone's beloved daughter? When you see a alcoholic or an addict, do you see an irresponsible person or a suffering person? When you see a terrorist, do you see an enemy or someone who is lost and looking for a purpose in life? When you see a homosexual, do you react with disgust or do you see someone struggling with a variation of sexual sin just like the rest of us. We should not be letting the media shape the way we see others.
我哋點睇人呢？弟兄啊，當你見倒個靚女嘅時候、你會唔會有好色嘅思想，還是你見倒一個人哋嘅心肝寶貝女？當你見倒個酒鬼或吸毒者嘅時候、你會見倒一個不負責任嘅人，還是你見倒一個受緊苦嘅人？當你見倒個恐怖分子嘅時候、你會見倒一個敵人，還是你見倒一個迷失嘅人？當你見倒個同性戀者嘅時候、你會覺得好核突，還是你見倒一個喺性誘惑裡面掙扎緊嘅人、講真啊，我哋好多個都同性誘惑嘅罪掙扎緊啊？我哋唔好比媒界影響我哋個世界觀。
當耶穌話：就是要愛人如己。你睇唔睇倒人哋嘅痛苦？同你經受嘅痛苦差唔多啊呵！用基督嘅愛睇人你就由佢哋經受痛苦嘅角度睇倒佢。
喺巴拿馬返嚟經過機場我見倒好多我最喜歡嘅匯豐銀行廣告。
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| HSBC Ad 匯豐銀行廣告 |
我哋睇呢個世界嘅觀念喺乜嘢呢？我哋點睇世界會改變我哋點揸弗。我哋點睇世界會改變我哋點面對大家。噚曰我睇報紙見倒2011年TED獎嘅得獎人、JR。佢用佢最喜歡嘅興趣、攝影、嚟改變人嘅世界觀...
How do we see people? Man, when you see an attractive women, do you see her as an object of lust or as someone's beloved daughter? When you see a alcoholic or an addict, do you see an irresponsible person or a suffering person? When you see a terrorist, do you see an enemy or someone who is lost and looking for a purpose in life? When you see a homosexual, do you react with disgust or do you see someone struggling with a variation of sexual sin just like the rest of us. We should not be letting the media shape the way we see others.
我哋點睇人呢？弟兄啊，當你見倒個靚女嘅時候、你會唔會有好色嘅思想，還是你見倒一個人哋嘅心肝寶貝女？當你見倒個酒鬼或吸毒者嘅時候、你會見倒一個不負責任嘅人，還是你見倒一個受緊苦嘅人？當你見倒個恐怖分子嘅時候、你會見倒一個敵人，還是你見倒一個迷失嘅人？當你見倒個同性戀者嘅時候、你會覺得好核突，還是你見倒一個喺性誘惑裡面掙扎緊嘅人、講真啊，我哋好多個都同性誘惑嘅罪掙扎緊啊？我哋唔好比媒界影響我哋個世界觀。
Nothing that we despise in the other man is entirely absent from ourselves. We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or don't do, and more in light of what they suffer.When Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself." Do you see the suffering they are going through? It is not much different than the suffering you are going through. See other through "Love Coloured Glasses" - through the love of Christ - and you will see people in light of what they suffer.
~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer 迪特里希·潘霍華
當耶穌話：就是要愛人如己。你睇唔睇倒人哋嘅痛苦？同你經受嘅痛苦差唔多啊呵！用基督嘅愛睇人你就由佢哋經受痛苦嘅角度睇倒佢。
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| Love Coloured Glasses 用愛睇人 |
Thursday, March 3
How do you let God work through you when you don't know who you are? // 如果你唔知道你喺邊個，你點俾神用啊？
When I think about it, it is sad that the idea of "iceberg" has become a cliche at our church. There is a lot of truth in the "iceberg". On the surface is the identity we show to the world, what we want the world to see who you are. Under the surface, it is actually who you are and the one who makes the decisions. There are things underneath the surface we don't want the world to see - the skeletons in the closest, and even things we don't about. The sum of all these parts makes up who we are.
當我想起來，喺我哋教會"冰山"已經變成一個口頭禪。但係"冰山"真喺有好深的意思。表面上冰山面啲嘢喺我地想俾人見啲嘢。冰山底啲嘢喺我地唔想俾人見道啲嘢，甚至我地自己都唔知啲嘢。整個冰山就喺我地全個人。
And what is God's purpose?
神用我哋啲"萬事"得益處。甚至我哋唔見得光啲嘢。如果我哋都唔知道我哋冰山底有啲乜嘢，我哋點可以俾神用我哋啲"萬事"呢？
同埋神的旨意系乜嘢？
If we don't even know who we are - if we don't even own up to the "all things" in our lives - how do we let God work it according to his purpose for us to be like his Son. God's work is not done went we merely say a prayer of confession and accept Jesus as our God and Saviour - so don't make it your goal to merely lead someone to Christ. God's purpose is for us all to be conform to the image of his Son. And this goal is not attained until we are in our glorious new bodies after this life. So make it your goal to encourage each other to own up to our individual "all things" and challenge each other to become Christ like.
The original definition of Christians: a group of people having or showing qualities of Christ. "Little Christs". Stop acting like Christians!?! BE LIKE CHRIST - with all the "all things" God has given you.
神用我哋啲"萬事"所以我哋會似他兒子的模樣。唔喺決志信主咁簡單，但係我哋要似神嘅兒子。神嘅旨意就要用我哋啲"萬事"嚟改造我哋所以我哋會似衪嘅兒子個樣。如果我哋都唔知道我哋自己喺邊個，或者我哋都唔接受我哋啲"萬事"，我哋點樣俾神按他嘅旨意讓我哋似衪兒子的模樣？神嘅工作唔喺單單要我哋決志信主，所以唔好顧住帶人信主咁簡單，但喺我哋要帶人同帶自己，接受我哋啲"萬事"，似耶穌個樣。
舊陣時啲人叫信徒造基督徒因為佢哋似基督。我哋自己叫自己做基督徒我哋喺唔喺似基督呢？用神俾我哋嘅"萬事"嚟似基督個樣啦！
神奇奇妙妙哋創造你，也會用我哋啲"萬事"得益處。甚至我哋冰山底嘅"萬事"。尤其是我哋冰山底嘅"萬事"！
當我想起來，喺我哋教會"冰山"已經變成一個口頭禪。但係"冰山"真喺有好深的意思。表面上冰山面啲嘢喺我地想俾人見啲嘢。冰山底啲嘢喺我地唔想俾人見道啲嘢，甚至我地自己都唔知啲嘢。整個冰山就喺我地全個人。
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
我們曉得萬事都互相效力，叫愛神的人得益處，就是按他旨意被召的人。All these parts are the "all things" God is working for His good. Even the painful and shameful things we are trying to hid from the world. If we don't even know what's underneath the surface in our iceberg how do we let God work these "all things" for his good according to his purpose?
羅馬書8：28
And what is God's purpose?
神用我哋啲"萬事"得益處。甚至我哋唔見得光啲嘢。如果我哋都唔知道我哋冰山底有啲乜嘢，我哋點可以俾神用我哋啲"萬事"呢？
同埋神的旨意系乜嘢？
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.
Romans 8:29a
因為他預先所知道的人，就預先定下效法他兒子的模樣To be conformed to the image of his Son. God is working with the "all things" in our lives so that we become like the image of his Son. Not so that we will merely say a magical prayer of confession and become a well behaving Christians, we are to become the image of his Son. The center of God's will and purpose is that he will take all that we are and our "all things" (note: my "all things", by the grace of God, are different from your "all things") and make us become the image of his Son.
羅馬書8：29
If we don't even know who we are - if we don't even own up to the "all things" in our lives - how do we let God work it according to his purpose for us to be like his Son. God's work is not done went we merely say a prayer of confession and accept Jesus as our God and Saviour - so don't make it your goal to merely lead someone to Christ. God's purpose is for us all to be conform to the image of his Son. And this goal is not attained until we are in our glorious new bodies after this life. So make it your goal to encourage each other to own up to our individual "all things" and challenge each other to become Christ like.
The original definition of Christians: a group of people having or showing qualities of Christ. "Little Christs". Stop acting like Christians!?! BE LIKE CHRIST - with all the "all things" God has given you.
神用我哋啲"萬事"所以我哋會似他兒子的模樣。唔喺決志信主咁簡單，但係我哋要似神嘅兒子。神嘅旨意就要用我哋啲"萬事"嚟改造我哋所以我哋會似衪嘅兒子個樣。如果我哋都唔知道我哋自己喺邊個，或者我哋都唔接受我哋啲"萬事"，我哋點樣俾神按他嘅旨意讓我哋似衪兒子的模樣？神嘅工作唔喺單單要我哋決志信主，所以唔好顧住帶人信主咁簡單，但喺我哋要帶人同帶自己，接受我哋啲"萬事"，似耶穌個樣。
舊陣時啲人叫信徒造基督徒因為佢哋似基督。我哋自己叫自己做基督徒我哋喺唔喺似基督呢？用神俾我哋嘅"萬事"嚟似基督個樣啦！
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalms 139:13,14
我的肺腑是你所造的；我在母腹中，你已覆庇我。God fearfully and wonderfully made us, he will work our "all things" for good according to his purpose. Even the "all things" underneath the surface in our iceberg - ESPECIALLY the "all things" underneath the surface in our iceberg.
我要稱謝你，因我受造，奇妙可畏；你的作為奇妙，這是我心深知道的。
詩篇139：13，14
神奇奇妙妙哋創造你，也會用我哋啲"萬事"得益處。甚至我哋冰山底嘅"萬事"。尤其是我哋冰山底嘅"萬事"！
Friday, February 18
God in the Mountains
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—Psalms 121, one of my favorite Psalms. Maybe because I love the mountains, but we really got to see our majestic God at work in the mountains yesterday.
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth."
(Psalms 121:1, 2)
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| Cerro Punta near Volcán Barú |
This became a challenge for me, after preaching on Romans 8 that the will of God is not for us to "do more" but rather for us to become like Jesus. I started to read in the Gospels to see what Jesus would do during his "down time". I found 2 passages, Mark 1:35 and John 4.
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." (Mark 1:35)And since I could not have the opportunities to engage in conversations like Jesus did in John 4, I spent the three days in Changuinola praying.
Prayer Items for Changuinola:
- Pray for the local church leaders in this town (their closest support, Pastor Lily, is 4 hours drive away)
- Pray for the youths who attended campamento (esp. the Chan family, of their 7 children 4 attended campamento, and the family still does not know the Lord)
- Pray for the Natives VBS ministry opportunities on the banana plantations in the Fincas (many of the local Natives are from family of multiple wives, and children are literally running around the streets in these communities)
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| Local Natives dwellings near the banana plantations |
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| Prayer meeting up in the mountains |
- Pray for Pastor Lily, the church in David and their church building project
- Pray for the the youths in Chiriquí, who are zealous and passionate for the Lord
- Pray for Rev. Lau as he is resolve a few issues within the church in David
- Pray for the campamento reunion of Saturday and I will lead a few of the young leaders to minister to the youths
- Pray for the health of the mission team, our bodies are taking a beating with the late 10:00p dinners and late nights meetings (ending in 1-2am in the morning)
Wednesday, February 9
Urgency Springs Intention
Only the 4 full day in Panama.
If you look around, you will find the short term missions team here often engaging in conversations with the locals.
Knowing our limited time in Panama, we engage in conversations with the local leaders with the intention of leadership training. Even though it is the still the first few days of my visit in Panama, I was able to have in-depth conversations with a few leaders.
Only if we that kind of urgency at home. We take for granted the time we have, where the fact is the the Lord holds our tomorrow. We don't even know if we will be around tomorrow. So we need to cease each opportunity to impact and witness to the lives of the people around us.
Prayer Requests:
If you look around, you will find the short term missions team here often engaging in conversations with the locals.
Only if we that kind of urgency at home. We take for granted the time we have, where the fact is the the Lord holds our tomorrow. We don't even know if we will be around tomorrow. So we need to cease each opportunity to impact and witness to the lives of the people around us.
Prayer Requests:
- Praise the Lord, Simon and Joseph arrived safely in Changuinola. Pray for the two of them along with Pastor Lily in regards to the training of local leaders.
- Continue to pray for Rev Lau as he speaks to the youths. Today, he just challenge to youths to get baptized and quite a few responded to this calling. PTL!!!
- Pray for myself as I lead a workshop on "Identity" tomorrow.
- Also pray for one of the young leader here in Panama, I am in the process to recruit to just us on our trip to Changuinola to serve the youths there. It will be a great discipleship opportunity for her and an example to the local leaders.
- And of course, continue to pray of the youths at the camp. 116 in total from throughout Panama.
Tuesday, February 8
A Cold Evening on Cerro Azul
I cannot believe I just admitted I'm cold, in Panama. But last night, on the top bunk with 6 others pastors in the room, on the mountain of Cerro Azul, I was cold. In the morning we realized we had all the windows wide opened. Being on the top bunk, I was to lazy to climb down in the middle of the night to my suitcase to get a jacket, so I just wrapped myself in my tiny wash towel.
6 hours of sleep, but cannot complain. It was 2 hours more than my average during my last missions trip to Thailand and Vietnam. Praise the Lord!!!
Yesterday, dad and Simon arrived safely and spent the night on Cerro Azul before flying out to Changuinola today. It is very exciting to be on the mission field in Panama with dad. Pray for their safe flight and for a fruitful ministry training leaders at the church in Changuinola.
Also yesterday, 116 teens arrived a the Campamento. This reminds me of a mini version of Teen's Conference or Vision X in Toronto. What really blew me away was every kid sang during praise, and no drums and loud instrument required. They sang Spanish versions of Seek Ye First, Give Thanks, and Shout to the Lord. Pray for these teens, as about 50 of them traveled 6 hours from David and 10 of them traveled 8 hours from Bocas del Toro just to attend this camp. This is the next generation in the Panama church!
6 hours of sleep, but cannot complain. It was 2 hours more than my average during my last missions trip to Thailand and Vietnam. Praise the Lord!!!
Yesterday, dad and Simon arrived safely and spent the night on Cerro Azul before flying out to Changuinola today. It is very exciting to be on the mission field in Panama with dad. Pray for their safe flight and for a fruitful ministry training leaders at the church in Changuinola.
Monday, February 7
Young People Ministry is the Same Everywhere in the World
The last time I was part of a Cantonese fellowship was back in 1996: Philadelphia Fellowship. It was an attempt to connect Genesis, the church's English Youth Fellowship where I was the chairperson, with the Cantonese Youth Fellowship. Even though I was born in Hong Kong, the experiment to bridge the two fellowship was a trying one for me. Having grown up in the English Congregation, I felt like a fish out of water; trying to express myself in Cantonese, Bible Study in Cantonese, play in Cantonese.
Flash forward 15 year - a year after I took the leap of faith and preach for the first time in Cantonese.
In Panama, I had two options: to speak in Cantonese or to speak in Spanish. The choice to a easy one to make but a difficult one to embrace. My mind is screaming in English, but I needed speak complete in Cantonese... and not your typical Hong Kong Cantonese/Chinglish, but Cantonese complete void of English. The funny thing is that I found it easier in Thailand in 2006, learning a completely new language rather than "perfecting" my broken Cantonese.
But the young people here, full of love and grace, welcomed me into their community. I found the foundation young people ministry is exactly the same as the one I'm familiar with in Canada. As Rev Lau will put it:
This was evident even on the second full day in Panama, after enjoying an afternoon of mall hopping, swimming and dinner with the young people, we can get into deeper life question.
Flash forward 15 year - a year after I took the leap of faith and preach for the first time in Cantonese.
In Panama, I had two options: to speak in Cantonese or to speak in Spanish. The choice to a easy one to make but a difficult one to embrace. My mind is screaming in English, but I needed speak complete in Cantonese... and not your typical Hong Kong Cantonese/Chinglish, but Cantonese complete void of English. The funny thing is that I found it easier in Thailand in 2006, learning a completely new language rather than "perfecting" my broken Cantonese.
But the young people here, full of love and grace, welcomed me into their community. I found the foundation young people ministry is exactly the same as the one I'm familiar with in Canada. As Rev Lau will put it:
有得食, 有得玩, 有得講Or as Dawn Haglund, quoted in Robert Webber, The Younger Evangelicals: Facing the Challenges of the New World. Dawn states the older paradigm was behave, believe, and then belong. Young people ministry have come to value a sense of belonging as primary. Some churches taught (and still teach) that first you believe, then you behave, and you finally belong. But young people ministries are more or less reversing this order out of a love for people far from God. Their philosophy is first you belong, then you believe, and finally you behave.
This was evident even on the second full day in Panama, after enjoying an afternoon of mall hopping, swimming and dinner with the young people, we can get into deeper life question.
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| Dumplings dinner with the next-gens in Panama |
Saturday, February 5
Bullets are Cheaper than Firework
Panama City, Panama.
Rev. Lau and I arrived in Panama late last evening. Before we left Toronto, on the car ride to the airport, we had an interesting conversation after driving pass The Prayer Palace Church near 400/Finch. The discussion revolved around a question Daniel had asked: How do we identify wolves among the flock at church? We came up with a humorous conclusion that if we were to ask each individual congregation members if they are willing to be a Stephen (Acts 7) then that member is not a wolf.
What an interesting question to linger in the mind just before a missions trip. Rev. Lau joking stated that "pastor Joel have no problem being Stephen". We all laughed and in response I said "there's nothing wrong in getting to see Jesus."
5 years ago, on the mission trip to Thailand and Vietnam, that very question was on our minds. There was a chance that we would be captured and imprisoned by the authorities. But what can go wrong in Panama serving at a youth leadership camp?
While reading "Uncensored Grace" by Jub Wilhite on the flight, I came across the story of Sgt. Henry Prendes from Las Vegas. On Feb 1, 2006, Sgt. Henry Prendes was killed on duty in Las Vegas. Similar to the story of Sgt. Ryan Russel in Toronto a few weeks ago, the news shook the city of Las Vegas. However, it was the faith of his wife and daughters during the widely televised memorial at Central Christian Church to impacted the community of Las Vegas and brought many to return to Christ.
Sgt. Henry Prendes was a Stephen. On that fateful day on Feb , 2006, God placed him exactly where he wanted him to be. But long before he gave his life on duty, he already died to himself.
When we arrived in Panama, the Chinese community was in high spirits celebrating Chinese New Year with fireworks. I was informed that people in Panama knows how to celebrate. During the New Year and other celebrations, the streets are filled with people. However, there was a story that after one of these celebration a sister from church found a bullet shell on pillow next to where she slept. Apparently, bullets are cheaper than fireworks. So instead setting off fireworks, some would randomly fire their pistols in the air.
Do you have what it takes to be a Stephen? It does not take much for God to call you home.
Rev. Lau and I arrived in Panama late last evening. Before we left Toronto, on the car ride to the airport, we had an interesting conversation after driving pass The Prayer Palace Church near 400/Finch. The discussion revolved around a question Daniel had asked: How do we identify wolves among the flock at church? We came up with a humorous conclusion that if we were to ask each individual congregation members if they are willing to be a Stephen (Acts 7) then that member is not a wolf.
"So, inset name hereDo you have what it takes to be a Stephen?, I think you have the calling to become a Stephen."
What an interesting question to linger in the mind just before a missions trip. Rev. Lau joking stated that "pastor Joel have no problem being Stephen". We all laughed and in response I said "there's nothing wrong in getting to see Jesus."
5 years ago, on the mission trip to Thailand and Vietnam, that very question was on our minds. There was a chance that we would be captured and imprisoned by the authorities. But what can go wrong in Panama serving at a youth leadership camp?
While reading "Uncensored Grace" by Jub Wilhite on the flight, I came across the story of Sgt. Henry Prendes from Las Vegas. On Feb 1, 2006, Sgt. Henry Prendes was killed on duty in Las Vegas. Similar to the story of Sgt. Ryan Russel in Toronto a few weeks ago, the news shook the city of Las Vegas. However, it was the faith of his wife and daughters during the widely televised memorial at Central Christian Church to impacted the community of Las Vegas and brought many to return to Christ.
Sgt. Henry Prendes was a Stephen. On that fateful day on Feb , 2006, God placed him exactly where he wanted him to be. But long before he gave his life on duty, he already died to himself.
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)Are we willing to be a Stephen, dying to ourselves, and letting God place us exactly were he wants us to me?
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| Chinese New Year Fireworks at Panama City |
Do you have what it takes to be a Stephen? It does not take much for God to call you home.
Friday, December 17
How Vegas Tempted to Lure Us Away from "Heaven"
Yes, Vegas is a special place to Jenny and I. We met each other in Vegas back in 2004. But after seeing the hotels and sights in Vegas we both agree a few years ago that there are no reasons for us to visit there again. So we had this attitude when flying into Vegas: Get into Vegas, grab our rental car, crash for the night, up early the next morning to grab some supplies before making our way into Zion.
We those that would have been an easy task because we were not influenced by the usually vises offered in Vegas. We don't gamble, so we just ignore the casinos. I have my beautiful wife, so we don't care about the gratuitous display of flesh and sex. And we are not the party type.
However, the one thing we were not prepared for was the temptation of food. Since we did not have dinner when we left Toronto, we were looking for a meal in the middle of the night in Vegas. And in the city that never sleeps, there's no shortage of food.
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| 24 hours All You Can Eat!!! |
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| No salad is complete without two strips of bacon! |
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| REI |
Sin City was hindeing our journey to "heaven"... funny how that is very similar to our journey in life.
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| Finally arrived in Zion: Kolob Canyon. Kolob - in Mormonism, Kolob is a star or planet mentioned in the Book of Abraham as the one nearest to the throne or residence of God |
Friday, December 3
Vacation Time:: Going to Heaven and Hell
Another year, another vacation with my wife, Jenny. Lastly year the awesome train ride across Canada, this year, we are going Heaven and Hell. :)
We are flying out tonight to Las Vegas (no, that neither heaven nor hell), but it will be cool to be back in the city where Jenny and I met. We will not be staying long in Vegas, we are boogieing out to the land of Mormons, driving straight into Utah. First stop, to visit a few FLDS (Fundamental Church of the Latter Day Saints) towns en route to Zion National Park. If the Mormons calls the Zion Canyon heaven on earth, it's good enough for me.
From there Jenny and I will go canyon hopping. Zion, Bryce, Paria (Coyote Buttes), Antelope, and finally Grand Canyon. At Grand Canyon, we will make an attempt to descend into the canyon. Some people calls this trek descending into hell. Hence going to Heaven and Hell.
For me, I'm most excited to see Zion National Park and we are doing this trip in reverse as I would have liked but because of permit issues (hoping to get early walk-in permits for Coyote Buttes) we are circumventing the canyons clock-wise.
In the meantime, no internet at all. Woo-hoo. Looking forward to see you all when I get back next weekend. Also don't worry, we will not convert to Mormonism... nor will I go marry another wife.
We are flying out tonight to Las Vegas (no, that neither heaven nor hell), but it will be cool to be back in the city where Jenny and I met. We will not be staying long in Vegas, we are boogieing out to the land of Mormons, driving straight into Utah. First stop, to visit a few FLDS (Fundamental Church of the Latter Day Saints) towns en route to Zion National Park. If the Mormons calls the Zion Canyon heaven on earth, it's good enough for me.
From there Jenny and I will go canyon hopping. Zion, Bryce, Paria (Coyote Buttes), Antelope, and finally Grand Canyon. At Grand Canyon, we will make an attempt to descend into the canyon. Some people calls this trek descending into hell. Hence going to Heaven and Hell.
For me, I'm most excited to see Zion National Park and we are doing this trip in reverse as I would have liked but because of permit issues (hoping to get early walk-in permits for Coyote Buttes) we are circumventing the canyons clock-wise.
In the meantime, no internet at all. Woo-hoo. Looking forward to see you all when I get back next weekend. Also don't worry, we will not convert to Mormonism... nor will I go marry another wife.
Wednesday, December 1
Rest cannot be banked
Two weeks of high pace work, and all of a sudden, yesterday I crashed. Flu. Fever. Body aches.
Two days of sleep later... all better.
When will I learn? Messing with the rhythm God design since creation. I must confess, I wanted to be a bad boy. I knew I had vacation coming up next week. I knew I had many things to take care of before I leave for vacation: I had Habitat for Humanity details to handle, Kin Village Children Christmas Party to arrange, one more sermon to prepare through video recording... I even had several pastors and lay-leaders lined up to record for the video sermon... so I thought I could cheat on Monday and get a jump start on work... but God holds up the STOP sign. Flu.
Everything got put on hold. While in bed with a fever, I resolved to scratch the video sermon idea, canceled all the interviews with the other pastors and lay-leaders. Losing two day of planning and recording, no time to record the interviews and city stock footage I needed.
H4H and Kin Village planning was put on hold till today. But with a extremely productive day, I had everything completed. Praise the Lord.
God created the universe in 6 days, and rested on the 7th. That's the rhythm of life. You cannot cheat the Sabbath. You cannot bank rest. Funny, I just told a good pastor brother to take the Monday rest even after his vacation, and I in turn tried cheat Sabbath with a reasoning that my own vacation is coming up... silly me. Thank God for smacking me down with the flu.
Two days of sleep later... all better.
When will I learn? Messing with the rhythm God design since creation. I must confess, I wanted to be a bad boy. I knew I had vacation coming up next week. I knew I had many things to take care of before I leave for vacation: I had Habitat for Humanity details to handle, Kin Village Children Christmas Party to arrange, one more sermon to prepare through video recording... I even had several pastors and lay-leaders lined up to record for the video sermon... so I thought I could cheat on Monday and get a jump start on work... but God holds up the STOP sign. Flu.
Everything got put on hold. While in bed with a fever, I resolved to scratch the video sermon idea, canceled all the interviews with the other pastors and lay-leaders. Losing two day of planning and recording, no time to record the interviews and city stock footage I needed.
H4H and Kin Village planning was put on hold till today. But with a extremely productive day, I had everything completed. Praise the Lord.
God created the universe in 6 days, and rested on the 7th. That's the rhythm of life. You cannot cheat the Sabbath. You cannot bank rest. Funny, I just told a good pastor brother to take the Monday rest even after his vacation, and I in turn tried cheat Sabbath with a reasoning that my own vacation is coming up... silly me. Thank God for smacking me down with the flu.
Wednesday, November 24
2109 Shoeboxes Later...
First year as the Local Collection Center for Richmond Hill, what is my reflection? Well, the obvious is that 2109 children will receive gifts for "Christmas" (with all the logistics, the shoeboxes will not actually arrive till March of next year). The gift of presents and the Gospel for the children, isn't that what Operation Christmas Child is all about? 
Yes, the main beneficiary of the shoeboxes are the children in the receiving countries. Yet last week I have witness countless beneficiaries in our community. Firstly, it is always a joy as a pastor to see his congregation come together to serve. It took an united effort from the whole church to pull off this project: from organizing the logistics, to manning the Connecting Center during the drop-off hours, and ultimately to packaging the shoeboxes into shipping boxes and delivering the shipment to our Regional Collection Center. Thanks to all the brothers and sisters who helped out.
Locally, serving as the Collection Center, our church was able to impact our local community. Sitting in the Connection Center during collection week I was able to interact with churches, organizations and individuals who brought in the 2109 shoeboxes. And the immediate comments were how friendly and welcoming we were as a collection center.
The biggest joy from the week was a young mother I met a month ago while distributing the empty shoeboxes. She single-handedly put together 50 shoeboxes. Because she had to care for her newborn daughter, Rebecca, so could not deliver her shoeboxes to the Connecting Center. So we made arrangements to pick up her shoeboxes. During the visit, I had the opportunity to have a good chat with her and build a rapport. She offered to volunteer and help with the collection next year because she wants to bring up little Rebecca to understand the joys of giving. This year, the shoeboxes from our collection center touched 2109 + 1 little child's life.
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