NIV Philippians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out the word of life-- in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
Lord, I don't want to complain and whine, but I am getting wear down by the expectations people place on the church leaders. Expectations on anyone who steps onto the pulpit is to be holy person. Expectations on these leaders that they have to be blameless. Because of these expectations, I have a constant fear of dropping the ball - disappointing others. Yes, we are called to shine like stars in a crooked and depraved generation, where can a church leader go for support when he/she is down and out?
I am only human. I am not holy, I am not blameless. I am pressing forward toward those goals, and I thank the brothers and sisters who are encouraging me in prayers and support. But how come when a church leader show any signs for human weakness, some are so ready to jump in and criticize. Why is there an innate interest for humans to see others fall? To put-down and to destroy? It is as if we enjoy the spectacle of an individual rise up so that we can see this same individual fall.
The pulpit is a very lonely place. If I was called to serve mere man, I would just put on a good face for everyone to "enjoy". But in reality, I am called to serve God. Does it matter what others think? Am I serving to please others? When we look at Bible characters like Abraham, David, Paul and etc, the first image we have is they are men/women of God. And their level of faith and obedience seem to be unreachable for many. What I was encouraged by is that Abraham is a liar, David is a adulterer, Paul is a murderer, Rahab is a prostitute and etc... yet, God still used them mighty. They are only human.
Yet, how would the church react if King David their leader? Would they seek the counsel of God and act in mercy and forgiveness. Or would they cast him out and criticize him without a second thought.
I am reminded of a song by Michael W. Smith
Move In Me
I am only human
Struggling to find
Confidence in all that I believe
You are only holy
You are love defined
And you have said to ask and I'll receive
So I have come to pray
That you will come and fill
The hunger here inside me to grow
Stronger in the faith
There's a longing and a need
To have you ever closer
Come fill me
Cause when you move in me
It's like a symphony
The timeless melody
That soothes my soul
Though silent I can tell
That you're alive and well
Cause I can feel you move
In me
What they try to tell me
Is that your love is false
And faith is just a way
I choose to feel
And that there was no meaning
To You upon the cross
And I should reach for something that is real
And when those words are said
The questions in me start
And I don't have any answers
Until I stop thinking with my head
And start listening to my heart
And there I find my assurance
I tell them
This serves as a good reminder, I am only human, and I need the Spirit of the Lord to move in me. My service is not to see the praises and approval of others, but to love the Lord with all my actions.
The pulpit is a lonely place, but the presence of the Lord is there, and what more can I ask for...
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