Suffering in Ministry is God's Answer to My Prayer

A shout out to Stephan Kwan (http://www.missionaryskwan.com), a missionary currently serving in Arua, Uganda, for his prayers.  Go on his site, pray and support him, too.

I love how God answers prayers.  While I was doing my morning readings this morning, I came across this in http://www.christianitytoday.com/globalconversation/august2010/index.html

As a leader, I am the bond-servant (doulos) of the people I lead (2 Cor. 4:5). This means that my schedule is shaped more by their needs than by mine.

Vocational fulfillment in the kingdom of God has a distinct character, different from vocational fulfillment in society. Jesus said, "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work" (John 4:34, ESV, used throughout). If we are doing God's will, we are happy and fulfilled. But for Jesus, and for us, doing God's will includes the Cross. The Cross must be an essential element in our definition of vocational fulfillment.

How to teach my congregation servant-leadership?  Is it teach them the difference in the vocational fulfillment in the kingdom of God vs. the vocational fulfillment in society.  To teach them to live out Christ does not require a "full-time calling", but it's THE calling as children of God.  And not to sugarcoat this teaching because to live out Christ is to suffer.

The New Testament is clear that those who work for Christ will suffer because of their work. Tiredness, stress, and strain may be the cross God calls us to. Paul often spoke about the physical hardships his ministry brought him, including emotional strain (Gal. 4:19; 2 Cor. 11:28), anger (2 Cor. 11:29), sleepless nights and hunger (2 Cor. 6:5), affliction and perplexity (2 Cor. 4:8), and toiling—working to the point of weariness (Col. 1:29). In statements radically countercultural in today's "body conscious" society, he said, "Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day" (2 Cor. 4:16); and, "For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you" (2 Cor. 4:11-12). I fear that many Christians approach these texts only with an academic interest, not seriously asking how the verses should apply in their lives.

And I guess the fear I have is part of the suffering  as the life of Jesus may be manifested in my life.

One of My Greatest Fear as a Pastor

As a pastor and as someone convicted of serving the Lord full-time, some choices I have to make in regards to scheduling are easy - yet requires wisdom.  There are church wide events that I must attend without a doubt.  There are fellowships that I must attend most of the time.  There are meetings that I must also attend.  Funerals, no doubt.  Weddings, a time to celebrate with the new couple.  It is all part of visible leadership.  If these events happens to be on Tuesday to Friday or Sundays, I'll schedule my regular prep work around it.  If it happens on a Saturday, oh well, even less time for final prep work on Saturday.  If it is on a Monday, I'll reschedule another time off if I can.  It is all serving the Lord - and learning from our Lord Jesus, if he can serve us by washing the disciples' feet, I need to learn to serve with joy.

As for the people I am learning to serve, they have some much harder decisions to make.  In general, they work Monday to Friday.  For most of them, Sunday morning is non-negotiable - it's church.  However, the choices comes in the form of prayer meetings, fellowships, cell groups, church events, meetings, and etc.  Unlike myself, they "volunteer" their time to come, they "volunteer" their time to serve.  If someone cannot set the time aside to volunteer the work, the task either ultimately falls on my shoulders or it does not get done at all.

As a pastor, and I've said this many times before, one of my greatest fears is having all my volunteers walk out on me.  Because if that happens, my ministry becomes merely getting things done, and not about influencing lives with the Gospel and my witness. 

Lord, give me the wisdom the teach and examplify (I think I just made up a word) servant-leadership.

Ministry and Life

Sitting in my office, I know there a bunch of things I can be doing (i.e. finishing up this Sunday sermon, finish next month's BLogos articles, write that article on Urban Missions and Ministries for Tyndale Link, or even finish the prep for Saturday's mission conference). But I started thinking, what does all these ministries mean if I am not connected to the people I'm serving...

Rebecca, Jermaine and I sat down yesterday to talk about the mission and ministry of TC and we all agreed on that for TC were the rubber hits the road is in the one-on-one engagement between captains and teens, teens and peers, coaches and teens. To a larger extent, mentor coaches and volunteers, etc. The bulk of God's life transformative work is not in the message, the singing, the media presentation, it's in life influencing life.

That got me thinking. As a pastor, does my congregation know me? As pastors, we were told to act professionally, but how is that helping the ministry God has put in my hands. I preach at least twice a month, write once a month in the BLogos, lead Bible Studies and attend meetings, but how does all that aid the relationship building with the people I ministry too.

This lead me back to this blog... people use to say they know me because of this blog. They would know how I feel, what I'm going through, and etc. If they don't like what I'm saying or who I am, they don't have to read this blog. But when I became a pastor, this blog became all "business". I'll only write if I have something "insightful" to say. It is not the "real" me anymore. How am I to influence other lives if I'm not being real with my life.

So I've made a decision, I am going to revive this blog. New design, new focus. And not to just fill it with "insights" but with my life. So I can witness with my life. And live out my life as a living sacrifice.

The Guerrilla Warfare of Evangelism in the Post-Modern Culture

I remembered in Seminary I had a discussion among my fellow classmates: "Who will be the next Billy Graham?" Billy Graham has conducted many evangelistic crusades. He would rent a large venue, such as a stadium, park, or street. He arranged a group of up to 5,000 people to sing in a choir and then preached the gospel and invited people to come forward. These people, called inquirers, were then given the opportunity to speak one-on-one with a counselor who clarified any questions the inquirer may have had and would pray with that person. As a young high school student I was involved in the Billy Graham Crusade in Toronto in 1995 as a counselor and a follow-up Bible Study leader. I remember being amazed by the thousands of people coming forward to accept Christ as their personal saviour, and then being part of the follow-up efforts allows me to see the fruits of the crusades.

So who will be the next Billy Graham? Among my Seminary classmates we unanimously agreed that there will not be another Billy Graham in our life time. Time has changed. Culture has changed. From experience serving at Teens Conference and various other evangelistic conferences, we can see the effectiveness of the large altar call in traditional evangelistic events are decreasing. In the post-modern culture, we began to see that Jesus in Scripture did not call people to make a "one time" decision about Him, but to follow Him all their lives. He taught that one mark of true faith is a life that continually confesses Him.

In an altar call at a large evangelistic gathering, we can equate it to the traditional military doctrine of organized conflict where the goal is to crush the enemy in a single battle. The result is easily measurable. All we have to do to measure success at the conclusion of a evangelistic gathering is to count the numbers of souls who came forward. However, one issue I am facing at church is that the congregation have a fear of inviting friends and family to such evangelistic gatherings. 1) A fear of not knowing what the friend will think of you. 2) A fear of how such an invitation to affect the friendship/relationship.

In today's post-modern (don't press your beliefs on me, don't preach to me) culture, the very face of evangelism is changing. The idea of lifestyle/friendship evangelism arises. Lifestyle/friendship evangelism happens in informal settings, where both the followers of Christ and non-believers are comfortable with their surroundings. These interactions are often sprung from friendships or through common interests (sports and hobbies). This is similar to guerrilla warfare where it is a small scale setting by irregulars (as opposed to a badge carrying preacher) on advantageous and comfortable terrain.

As noted above, when Christ calls people publicly, He calls people to "Follow Me" - to follow Him and learn from His lifestyle. Engaging in activities where His followers are familiar and comfortable with (i.e. fishing, dining). We can observe that to gain some of His closest followers Jesus engaged in guerrilla warfare of Evangelism. Whenever He preached to a large group in a formal setting, He quickly moves on and engages in smaller intimate group with those around Him.

I feel that one thing the church feels about lifestyle/friendship evangelism is that success and results are difficult to measure. For example, the basketball team at my church has been engaging in lifestyle/friendship evangelism for the past 5 years. It is difficult to give concrete numbers and figures on how effective the ministry is. However, I strong believes that the Holy Spirit has been working among all the members of the basketball team.

How should the church approach the guerrilla warfare of lifestyle/friendship evangelism? I recently observe an interesting reaction my church's reaction to Ride to Conquer Cancer. This is the second year members of my church were involved with the Ride to Conquer Cancer. Cancer has impacted the church deeply since day one, but how come it took the second year around for this Ride to Conquer Cancer to gain visibility and traction and unite the church together. Celebration. The church celebrated together. We celebrated the results of the ride. Celebration brought together those who usually have no interest in cycling and we were able to celebrate together. The was the wake up call for me in terms of the various lifestyle/friendship evangelism efforts throughout the church. We know through Christ we are victorious in the battle. But how do we know we are moving forward in this spiritual warfare? Celebration. We must encourage each group to share and celebrate the victories of each personal guerrilla warfare of evangelism. This also means that every time enter our personal lifestyle/friendship evangelism, we have the expectation to share this celebration.

In terms of the Ride to Conquer Cancer, many people say it is a huge success for one weekend. 4108 riders, raising over $16.1 million. But if you break down the numbers, 4108 riders equals 0.1% of the population of the GTA. Say 1% if you include all the volunteers and donors. $16.1 million is about $5 per person in the GTA. In the overall picture, these are small numbers. If for instance, for a church event, only 1% of congregation took part, raising $5 per person, will we consider that a success? The what guerrilla warfare of evangelism is all about, we need to celebrate these small successes, and when we raise the awareness to the rest of the congregation, this is where the congregation is united.

Reflection on the Ride

Dancing on the Pedals

You know the feeling. You are riding up a big hill, losing momentum, your legs are burning with from the build up of lactic acid. And you look down toward your bike's drivetrain you see you are on the small crank in the front, and largest sprocket in the back. You heart sinks. You are on you lowest gear - you have ran out of gears - mechanically the bike no longer ease your ride up this hill. It is now completely up to you to get up this hill.

You have two options: 1) get off the bike and walk the bike up the hill. 2) put your head down, get up from the saddle, dig deep into the pedals, ignore the burning sensation in your leg muscles, and dance on the pedals up the hill up till you reach the top.

To outside observers, this dance on the pedal is beautiful. If you follow the Tour de France, you will remember 2003 stage 15 as Lance Armstrong danced on his pedals up Luz-Ardiden. Armstrong crashed at the start of the climb, the fall was caused when Armstrong caught the handlebar of his bike on the strap of a spectator's bag. Jan Ulrich, who was riding just behind Armstrong, avoided the crash, and in an act of chivalry he slowed to wait for the fallen riders. Armstrong quickly re-mounted his bike and caught Jan Ulrich. Immediately, Armstrong attacked the group of riders, none of whom could follow him and he powered his way to win the stage by 40 seconds, on his way to a victory on the Champs Elysees by 1 minute 1 second.

This is the insight the came to me as I climb up Hamilton Mountain toward our Mohawk College camp grounds for the end of day one; a 4.4km climb gain about 100m in elevation. One thing that kept me going is that I knew for those inflicted by cancer, those who we are riding for, that cannot get off the ride in their struggles. They have to find the strength within themselves to dig deep and fight. And this fight, to friends and family observing, this is many many times more beautiful than Lance Armstrong dancing uphill on bike pedals.


Strength in Numbers

Another insight is that I would have never done a ride from Toronto to Niagara all by myself. But it was a joy riding along side the other 4108 participants, crews and volunteers. I've witnessed it many times at church, whenever someone hears the dreaded words: "You have cancer." The community comes together in prayer and support. No one should ever ride by them selves. Strength in numbers.

I love my job!!!

Who would have expected this when I started ministry? And this is only exactly one year into my full-time pastoral ministry.

About to call it the night after a 15 hours work day, and have to be up 7 hours later to get ready to get back to church. Even through all this, I love my job.

At the beginning of last weekend, there was a buzz of excitement. Johnny's first Sunday Sermon - the fruits from the church discipleship and leadership training. Jenny's baptism, as well as Daniel's and two from the Chinese Congregation. This is a special baptism, not just because it was my wife's nor the senior pastor's 4th son's. But it is also because the 4 baptismal candidates are from 4 different age groups, different walks of lives, different family backgroud/situation, different struggles in life, etc. It was the most diverse set of candidates. With only one thing in common - the love of Jesus Christ.

So there was a lot of excitement and expectations for the weekend. As well as the fundraising efforts for Ride to Conquer Cancer is in full swing, for the ride was just a week away. (I've also had quite an experience from the fundraising, but that's another post.) So that's why there's a buzz of excitement.

However, while preparing for the ride, I could never image the purpose for which Jenny and I are riding for would shape my week just before the ride.

Immediately after the celebration of the baptism, came the news on Monday morning of Jim's 9 years battle with cancer is over. The church goes into scramble mode to support Jim's family.

Tuesday morning, news came from Vancouver that one of Jenny's relative's battle with cancer is also over, but we will not able to fly back to attend the funeral. Also not all news is bad, we learn that another relative in Vancouver as given birth to a girl.

Wednesday, first time meeting with a regional manager from Operation Christmas Child. For some reason she was lead to share with me her recently story. In Oct 2008, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. But as of last Friday, her battle with cancer is also over - she is now clear of her cancer.

3 days. 3 cancer related event. Is God telling me something leading up to my Ride to Conquer Cancer?

There were other issues to deal with at church that I will not spend time to disclose here. But how can I complain about long hours and stress when I can clearly see God at work? And I have front row seats.

Praise the Lord!!! I love my job.




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Feeling handicapped in my ministry

32 this year. Married. Along with a secure job (as long as I don't do anything stupid). I am content with all these blessings from the Lord, yet I feel handicapped in my ministry.

As our sermon series moves from Daniel to Leviticus, I've been addressing to issue of idolatry. And I began to wonder if this feeling of handicap is a direct result of my own idolatry.

The reason why I feel the sense of handicap I guess is mainly resources related. While we are managing in terms of finances, there's still a strain when we are trying to save up for a HK trip and car payments coming up in November. Of course it would be easier if Jenny has work, but we are still patiently waiting. The result of this is that we are to tightly control our expenses - ie eating out only twice last month. Therefore I feel reluctant in spending time with brothers and sisters for meals. The alternative is to invite brothers and sisters over for dinner but not having a place of our own and living in a location far from most we also find this difficult.

I begin to feel distance from b/s - feeling handicapped in ministry. And I can feel the stress because of this. But am I blaming my lack of "stability" for causing this feeling? Didn't Jesus say "38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matt 10:38,39) A life long of following Jesus means "instability" in the human perspective. Is the longing for "stability" becoming my idol? I have had a few sleepless nights wrestling this issue.

Lord, help me remove the longing for stability from the centre of my heart and put you back into place?

Tired and Floods of Memories.

This morning I was dragged out of bed to take my church youths downtown for a stroll by Habourfront. I felt like a zombie. Falling asleep with every opportunity I had. Funny thing is that I clearly remember I had not felt this tired since on this day exactly two years ago.

Exaclty two years ago, when I got home from TC late in the evening, I stayed up all night to pack my bags for an early flight to Hong Kong - a flight I booked two days before when I got a call at TC that my grandpa in HK was in critical condition in the ICU. I decided to fulfill my obligations at TC, in the mist of prayers from coaches and staff, before taking the earliest flight out of YYZ. During my layover in Vancouver, I got to spend an afternoon with my then fiancée, Jenny. But I remember I was a complete wreck. That was two years ago. Missing my grandpa. And praying for my grandma coping alone in HK.

Driscoll's Sermon on Haiti

How can God let such things happen in Haiti?

John 9:3 - "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in [their lives]."

Many people are asking how can God let such things happen in Haiti. A National Post editor made a statement that "God may have abandoned Haiti". People commenting that prayer will not help the people in Haiti (Comment #32).

My wife and I had a discussion on our views on the tragedy in Haiti, and our conclusion is that God has not abandoned Haiti , "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in [their lives]." Haiti has been on the news throughout last decade, especially during the 2004 Haitian rebellion. But while poverty and injustice continued on this island nation most of the world sat on our hands or wasn't aware of it.

Now this tragedy happened and Haiti has thrust into headline news in all major newspaper and news broadcast. Was God punishing Haiti for their past transgressions as Pat Robertson has suggested on national TV? I don't think so. Just as Jesus said in John chapter 9:1-3

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."

What happened in Haiti is a reminder of us, children of God, to stand up against injustice and to show the world the love of God so that the work of God might be displayed. Or as another National Post editor as put it, "The earthquake was not His wrath being unleashed on Haiti's people; it was a slap to the face of every single so-called 'caring, liberal' nation on this planet -- a slap strong enough to knock the blinders from our eyes."

Brothers and sisters, God has placed the nation of Haiti in the centre of our lives this week. Let us pray and take action so that the work of God might be displayed.

Pray for and support a fellow sister from DR, she had rented a van and loaded it with food at her own cost and now in Haiti. (http://shannonconaghan.blogspot.com/2010/01/going-solo.html)

Here is another response by Donald Miller:
http://donmilleris.com/2010/01/13/1513/

A Write Up to My Reaction to the Asian Worship @urbana09

@moomooaudrey #urbana09

Dear Audrey,

First of all I would like to thank you and the worship team for your service in leading us in the singing aspect of worship at Urbana2009. I believe God would have been pleased by the praises lifted up to His Name. And also thank you for opening our eyes and bringing us to the various neighbourhoods of worship. It was truly a small glimpse of what heaven would be like.

In response to your tweet: "I saw your tweet about Asian American worship and was intrigued to know what you would have done otherwise?" I apologize if my comment might have come out harsh, let me assure you that no ill intent and negativity was intended. The idea was to generate discussion among my fellow pastors and church leaders on the state of Asian Worship.

Before I continue, let me introduce you to my neighbourhood. My name is Joel Tang and I am the English Pastor of Logos Baptist Church (York Region Mission) just north of Toronto, Canada. We are a Chinese church with a Cantonese speaking congregation as well as an English speaking congregation. The worship experience at my church would be exactly like the one you described in your worship set, wanting to be invisible and as though it is just me and God. The choice of music would be very similar to that of your set too, therefore I felt completely at home in your neigbourhood as we worshiped the Lord.

While I am not a worship pastor, I have had the opportunity to interact with various worship leaders and pastor while I was a sound technician before I became a pastor myself. The common consensus is that our worship experience is a very Western Asian worship style.

In the North American context, this style of worship will provide a comfortable neighbourhood for Asian Americans to worship. But since the context of Urbana is global missions, how would Asians in various Asian countries react to such style of "Asian Worship"? Recently having the opportunity to speak to a worship mission team from Japan, he stated that such Western style of worship is extremely popular in Japan. It is because the youths in Japan embraces everything Western, and as a result, it leads to idolatry where the youths are worshiping the Western culture instead of worshiping God.

Also God has given Asians around the world an abundance of creativity and a long heritage. In addressing the global setting of Urbana, why are these creativity not reflected in our worship when we are invited into the Asian neighbourhood? The African drums and Natives dances provided us with a glimpse of creativity of other cultures and allow us to praise the creative God. That's why I was so excited to experience the Indian worship (with the Sitar) on the two occasion after my initial comment. My only wish that it was included and introduced in the "Asian neighbourhood".

I only have a limited resource on the pulse of Asian worship around the world, but being Chinese myself, here are some worship music that are coming out of the churches in China and Taiwan. I can further ask my fellow Korean pastor and missionaries from Japan and Thailand for other examples.




I do understand that with the limited time and resources, as well as copyright issues, it was difficult to explore every culture on the earth. I do hope this can generate discussion to enhance our Asian worship experience, leading us to celebrate our heritage and the creative God, even as we worship Him here in North America. Thank you once again for your time and your service at Urbana. I was my pleasure meeting you on this cyberspace extension of Urbana 2009. :)

Blessings,
Joel

PS. If you have the chance, can you let Tim know that Jenny and Joel says hi and attached is a picture for him.

Urbana 2009 Day 5 Photos

#Urbana09

Happy New Year!!!

Fellowship Spring form Mission

#Urbana09

In terms of inter-cultural/inter-ethnic/inter-generational ministry work, one conformation I've been getting at Urbana (affirming what I've leran in NACCOWE) is that "Fellowship springs from Mission. Mission does not spring from Fellowship." When a group of individual have a common mission, independent of their background, there will be fellowship. However, a group of friends 'hanging out' does not mean they have a mission.

Therefore, our ministry is not merely pulling groups of people together and let them have fun with one another, but to instill a purpose and a mission in them.

Reconciliation comes from a sense of mission.


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Urbana 2009 Day 4 Photos

#urbana09

"Love" & "Go"

#Urbana09

It is in the context of deep meaning relationship that spiritual formation takes place. Before any going, before any doing, before any discipleship, there has to be love, connection and reconciliation.

What I am learning today is that in order for the church to move forward as he had promised we would, first there must be reconciliation. This is where I see our congregation is at. We are ready to serve. We are ready to lead. Yet we need to reconcile.

The Great Commission and the Great Commendment goes hand in hand. There's no "Go" without love. There's no "make disciples" without loving your neighbour.

However, to love and to reconcile requires struggles and wrestling with oneself. But struggles and wrestling comes sorrow. Yet there is joy in sorrow. We must approach loving your neighbour and reconciliation not with bitterness, but to embrace sorrow - where we can find joy.

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Urbana 2009 Day 3 Photos

#Urbana09

Hope you enjoy the photos from Day 3.

Defender of the Message

#urbana09

I've always been a lay back person. Nothing much gets me angry but however learning from today's "Let Scripture Speak" the Jesus was angry in John 2:13-25.

Jesus was angry because the truth was violated. The temple vendors had allowed the means to replace the message. And when the message of God's salvation to the Gentiles was violated, Jesus got angry.

As I lead my group to Urbana to see Jesus, is there anything violating the message to my students. I should stand up to defend te message, so that the message can then be a model of how to serve.


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Urbana 2009 Day 2 Photos

Hope you enjoy the photos:

Make God Visible. Make Yourself Invisible

I'm feeling that's the messge God is reminding me at Urbana this year.



Thanks to Patrick Fong for speaking the Word of God, and his words on Joy and Suffering vs Joy and Bitterness.

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Breathing a Sigh of Relief

What a relief to finally register for the conference an check-into the hotel - to have the group settled in. Now we can fully enjoy the conference and no worry about the minuet details. Praise God for Albert for getting us awesome rooms for a great rate.

Last night Ramez Atallah took us through John1:1-18. Specifically verse 14. He reminded us that the Incarnation is 1) the means God reaches to us. 2) His message to us - "grace and truth". 3) model of how to minister. (identification, weakness, vulnerability)



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