Struggling Upstream

“There was an old owl who lived in an oak
The more he heard, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard
So why cannot we be like that old bird?”

Today we spend the afternoon in complete silence: not a word spoken, not even a hum. Before we began, we joked about how some of us will go insane without speaking for 5 hours. To me, I thought how different will it be from backpacking? I’ll just spend my time walking along the river and enjoy the cool breeze. Soon I realized that this is nothing like backpacking. I realized that while backpacking, I’d sing under my breath. As I walked, I wanted to recite the “breath prayer”:

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

However, I found it extremely difficult not about to whisper it under my breath. So I decided to continue walking along the riverbanks with the “breath prayer”, Heidelberg Catechism, Psalm 1, all echoing inside my head.

Then I stumble upon a pack of ducks, struggling to swim upstream. I wondered why don’t they just fly and not be pushed around by the current. Then I realized they were looking for food.

As of us, why face the challenges in life knowing there is a treasure waiting for us in heaven? Because by struggling to swim upstream in life, against the current of this world, we will be spiritual feed and nourish. If not for the struggles, our growth flat lines.

Then I climbed a tree the hung over the river and sat in silence and meditated. Boy, I never realized remaining in silence is so tiring. It is as though my mind is working overtime staying alert to God’s voice.

NIV Matthew 26:36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." 39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." 40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. 41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." 42 He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." 43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. 45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer!"

Must stay alert and wait for God’s voice with anticipation. Temptations for go to sleep, so I should head back outside. Already spend an hour journaling; I should spend the reminding 90 minutes waiting in Him.

“When you are waiting, you are allowing your soul to grow up. If you are not silent, you will never hear God’s voice.”