With the ushering in of the new year, there will always be talks of New Year Resolutions. Over the past few days, like many other people, I have given a lot of thought about New Year Resolutions, and rather or not to make one because of the fear of empty promises. First off, I am very proud of my wife, Jenny, for making and keeping her 2011 New Year Resolution - to give up carbonated soft drink. And for the year, except of the one time at the Good Food Festival when I gave her a sip of my root beer forgetting her resolution (my bad), she has not touched any soft drinks for a year and will continue to do so.
Rather your New Year Resolution is to eat less, to read the Bible more, to swear less, to excise more, and etc, the main motivation to a New Year Resolution is for self-improvement. Similar to Lent where nowadays we fast and give up on one of our worldly desires through self-denial. However, in the case of Lent, the other aspects of preparation of the believer for Holy Week – through prayer, repentance, offering – is often lost with the focus on self-denial.
There is nothing wrong with self-improvement. Our society even champions those who perseveres and dramatically improve themselves. Just turn on the TV and soon you will hear "I've lost 60 lbs and 3 months" or "imagine a new you in 90 days". The issue I have with society's message of self-improvement, and the reason why so many New Year Resolutions turn into empty promises, is that these self-improvement address what we "want". And what we "want" is often fuelled by consumerism.
When we want something, it is often to satisfy our desire. A tragic aspect of consumerism is that there is never enough. There is always the desire for more because each purchase only satisfies for short while. The Scriptures warns us about this in Haggai 1:5-6,
Now therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘Consider your ways! You have sown much, but harvest little; you eat, but there is not enough to be satisfied; you drink, but there is not enough to become drunk; you put on clothing, but no one is warm enough; and he who earns, earns wages to put into a purse with holes.I can spent forever addressing the topic of consumerism, but in the context of New Year Resolutions, is your resolution addressing what you "want" or is it addressing what you really "need"? It is easy say "I want to lose 20 lbs through dieting", however, for self-improvement, is that what you really need? Maybe the core issue is not about losing the 20 lbs, but rather it is about living a more balance lifestyle - eating and sleeping at the proper time - and in doing so you will lose those 20 lbs.
In order to arrive at this conclusion, it requires self-reflection and self-examination. However in our busy lifestyle self-reflection and self-examination is becoming a lost art. For your New Year Resolutions, I encourage everyone to find time to slow down, find time to self-examine to see what areas in life you "need" to address.
So what's my New Year Resolution? First, here's my self-examination:
I am a follower of Christ, a husband, a pastor. Before I met Christ, I was lost, failing in school and felt unless. This had led to attempts of running away from home and suicidal thoughts. When I met Christ, and through his life redeeming blood on the cross, He offered me love and hope. I became an Electrical Engineer for 3 years until the high-tech crash in 2002. I then studied to become a Financial Advisor (this is how I met Jenny) and in just 2 years I was able to match my previous engineering income . But God had other plans for me, asking me give up my promising position at work, to go into debt to enter into seminary, so that I can take a 50% pay cut and serve as a pastor. To the world this made no sense at all but God has never ceased to provide for everything Jenny and I had ever needed. This reflection help remind me that I am living under the amazing grace of my Lord and why I am a pastor.
As I reflected on in my previous post, 2011 has been a challenging year. One feedback (from the congregation and from my senior pastor) I have received over the past two years is that I need to be more vulnerable as a pastor. I have given a lot of prayer and thought about this. What does it mean to be vulnerable? How to be vulnerable? In my formative years, I had been known to be very transparent. Speaking with Jenny she agrees that it is because of this transparency we were able to maintain the long-distance relationship while we were dating. Now that we have been married for 3 and a half years, I have realized I best express my vulnerability through writing. It was through this blog and Jenny's blog how we got to know each other better. And because of my limited verbal skills I find it difficult to express my deepest thoughts in speech. Also through writing (even though my writing skills are horrible, too) I am able to organize my thoughts and feelings better. Somehow ever since I got engaged to Jenny, because of busyness, I did not write as much. Therefore, in my pursue to be more vulnerable, so that I can become a better follower of Christ, a better husband, and a better pastor, I shall spend more time in reflection and in writing. And this is my New Year Resolution.
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